Bette,
I am so sorry. I know there is nothing anybody can do to take the pain away. I lost my oldest son 15 months ago. You will get through this, you have too, for the rest of your family.
I think PamelaJ said it best. Take one day at a time. One minute at a time.
Shock enveloped me the first year and I was able to slowly come to grips with such an overwhelming loss.
If you would like, please send me an e-mail, perhaps we can help each other. I have found some grieving websites, when you are ready and if you would like to know them, let me know and I will share them with you.
I am so sorry.
((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))