B
Bunny
Guest
I knew I was in for one of those nights the minute difficult child got home from school yesterday. He came in and was all in a lather about the fact that he had alot of homework. I asked him what he had and was told, "It's none of your business. You don't have to tell me everything and I don't have to tell you everything." Okay, so I backed off of the homework topic. He had a snack and then came back at me with, "I'm not going to religion and you can't make me." I quietly explained to him that he had to go. It's once a week for one hour and that his father and I felt that this was something that was important for him to do. easy child has to do it, too, although he's in first grade and he gets taught at home. He'll actually have to go to classes next year. I also gave difficult child a choice: he could go to the class, or he could refuse and then loose his priviledges for the rest of the week. It was his choice.
So what does he choose do? Totally baricade himself in his room and hides in his closet.
Now, I had to get into his room to get into the back room to get something that I needed. It took me a while to get in because he pushed his desk up against the door and wedged is under the door handle so I couldn't turn it. difficult child was hiding in the closet so well that I didn't even see him in there. After I got what I needed from the back room I dragged the desk out of his room. When he realized that I did that he came out of his room holding his hockey stick and told me that if I didn't "put the desk back" into his room he was "going to give it to [me] with this hockey stick." I was on the phone with is father at that moment telling what was going on and he heard difficult child threaten me and told him that he heard what he said that he would deal with him when he go home. He told me he was going to leave work at 5:00 (he's not supposed to leave until 5:30, but his direct boss will let him leave at 5 is he needs to).
I reminded difficult child that he made his choice and had no privileges because he did not do what was expected of him and the kid went off like a bottle rocket. Screaming, ranting about how no one loves him and it's all my fault anyway so why should he lose things? He ran into easy child's room and started ranting to him about how "mom doesn't love us" and "we should just leave her because there must be a better family for them out there somewhere." easy child looked like he was on the verge of tears, so I said to him to come downstairs with me and we'll go into another room. difficult child tries to stop easy child from leaving with me, telling him that is he left he would never talk to him again. easy child came with me, which made difficult child even crazier.
The next thing I hear is, "If you don't give me back my priviledges back I'm going to kill myself!!" I told him no, that I was not going to give into him because he made threats. He kept on going on about how he was going to kill himself because he could not watch t.v. and that it was not fair. easy child kept looking at me and telling me, "Mom, just give him what he wants. PLEASE!!" It's hard to explain to him that I can't do that. He's only six. I don't think he meant what he said, and when I spoke to the therapist later in the night he agreed with me. difficult child has a history of saying what he thinks is the worst thing he could say to you when he's angry in order to try to get his way. I think that was what he was trying to do. Threaten me with harming himself in order to get back his television and toy priviledges. It was not working, which sent him spinning even higher.
He did eventually calm down when he realized, after about 2 1/2 hours of this ****, that he was not going to get his way. He woke me up at 4:51 this morning and asked me if he could have priviledges back. I told him no. He did not do what was expected of his yeaterday and he was not going to have anything back, especially at that hour of the morning. That turned into, "If you don't give them back to me I'm not going to school!" Oh, really? I got his father up and we both told him that if we had to put him on the bus and embarras him in front of all of the other kids he was going to go to school. He went. It's going to be such a joy when he gets home.
Unfortunately, the psychiatrist is on vacation this week and won't be back in the office until Monday. Either the Celexa is not enough on it's own, or he needs a totally different medication, but this can not continue. That will be the first phone call I make Monday morning after everyone goes to work and school. In the mean time, I called the therapist last night to alert him to this latest episode. We have an appointment with him tomorrow night.
This is the problem with him. He totally looses it when he does not get his way, like having to go to his religion class or being told that there are consequences when he did not do it, and will tantrum for hours. Then he calms down, cries hysterically about how sorry he is, and then be able to deal with whatever the issue is. In this case, he is totally fine with having to sit on his bed when he comes home from school. At least, that was what he said when he walked out the door to go to the bus stop. We'll see what happens when he comes home.
Pam
So what does he choose do? Totally baricade himself in his room and hides in his closet.
Now, I had to get into his room to get into the back room to get something that I needed. It took me a while to get in because he pushed his desk up against the door and wedged is under the door handle so I couldn't turn it. difficult child was hiding in the closet so well that I didn't even see him in there. After I got what I needed from the back room I dragged the desk out of his room. When he realized that I did that he came out of his room holding his hockey stick and told me that if I didn't "put the desk back" into his room he was "going to give it to [me] with this hockey stick." I was on the phone with is father at that moment telling what was going on and he heard difficult child threaten me and told him that he heard what he said that he would deal with him when he go home. He told me he was going to leave work at 5:00 (he's not supposed to leave until 5:30, but his direct boss will let him leave at 5 is he needs to).
I reminded difficult child that he made his choice and had no privileges because he did not do what was expected of him and the kid went off like a bottle rocket. Screaming, ranting about how no one loves him and it's all my fault anyway so why should he lose things? He ran into easy child's room and started ranting to him about how "mom doesn't love us" and "we should just leave her because there must be a better family for them out there somewhere." easy child looked like he was on the verge of tears, so I said to him to come downstairs with me and we'll go into another room. difficult child tries to stop easy child from leaving with me, telling him that is he left he would never talk to him again. easy child came with me, which made difficult child even crazier.
The next thing I hear is, "If you don't give me back my priviledges back I'm going to kill myself!!" I told him no, that I was not going to give into him because he made threats. He kept on going on about how he was going to kill himself because he could not watch t.v. and that it was not fair. easy child kept looking at me and telling me, "Mom, just give him what he wants. PLEASE!!" It's hard to explain to him that I can't do that. He's only six. I don't think he meant what he said, and when I spoke to the therapist later in the night he agreed with me. difficult child has a history of saying what he thinks is the worst thing he could say to you when he's angry in order to try to get his way. I think that was what he was trying to do. Threaten me with harming himself in order to get back his television and toy priviledges. It was not working, which sent him spinning even higher.
He did eventually calm down when he realized, after about 2 1/2 hours of this ****, that he was not going to get his way. He woke me up at 4:51 this morning and asked me if he could have priviledges back. I told him no. He did not do what was expected of his yeaterday and he was not going to have anything back, especially at that hour of the morning. That turned into, "If you don't give them back to me I'm not going to school!" Oh, really? I got his father up and we both told him that if we had to put him on the bus and embarras him in front of all of the other kids he was going to go to school. He went. It's going to be such a joy when he gets home.
Unfortunately, the psychiatrist is on vacation this week and won't be back in the office until Monday. Either the Celexa is not enough on it's own, or he needs a totally different medication, but this can not continue. That will be the first phone call I make Monday morning after everyone goes to work and school. In the mean time, I called the therapist last night to alert him to this latest episode. We have an appointment with him tomorrow night.
This is the problem with him. He totally looses it when he does not get his way, like having to go to his religion class or being told that there are consequences when he did not do it, and will tantrum for hours. Then he calms down, cries hysterically about how sorry he is, and then be able to deal with whatever the issue is. In this case, he is totally fine with having to sit on his bed when he comes home from school. At least, that was what he said when he walked out the door to go to the bus stop. We'll see what happens when he comes home.
Pam