meowbunny
New Member
I really hope I don't jinx things but I have to let you all know how good things are going here. I think for my daughter having to sleep behind a bank and ending up in a roach-infested, gang-ridden area was her bottom. I know most of you told me to let her go, not chase after her and that she was old enough to make her own decisions. I knew that for me this was not the right answer.
We've had some minor arguments, but they are just that -- minor. At one point, I did tell her to go away for the day and come back that evening or pack her things and go her own way (only way I knew that she would leave for a few hours). Three hours later, she came back and I explained that we were going to end up saying or doing something we would both regret because we were both in truly bad moods. I couldn't leave because I was waiting for someone, so she had to leave. Once she understood that I wasn't kicking her to the curb so to speak, she was happy to leave the next time I suggested she go away for awhile.
Since she has been home, she has been helpful and relatively respectful. Her sense of entitlement is still sky high. Her dreams are still unrealistic. If I let her, she would happily live in a pigsty. Picking up trash behind her was and is a way of life here but even that has improved in that if I mention she left garbage somewhere, she'll jump up to get it. I still have to ask her two or three times to do something but I also know it will ultimately get done even if not quite as soon as I would like it. She's still incredibly immature. I'd put her at about 15 emotionally today, but she is growing.
Given the minuses above (and the only one that really concerns me is the entitlement issue), she is truly a changed person. Fourteen months in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) didn't change her that much. That gave her the tools to put to use today but until she hit her bottom, she wasn't going to use those tools. She does now.
I truly like the person she is becoming (at least most of the time). She's kinder, less quick to judge me, more willing to help. I don't believe this will go on forever, but I'm hoping it will go on long enough to have responsibility of some sort become an automatic part of her life.
I know this sounds awful, but may all of our children hit their personal bottom. If we're lucky, they'll climb up and out a better person.
We've had some minor arguments, but they are just that -- minor. At one point, I did tell her to go away for the day and come back that evening or pack her things and go her own way (only way I knew that she would leave for a few hours). Three hours later, she came back and I explained that we were going to end up saying or doing something we would both regret because we were both in truly bad moods. I couldn't leave because I was waiting for someone, so she had to leave. Once she understood that I wasn't kicking her to the curb so to speak, she was happy to leave the next time I suggested she go away for awhile.
Since she has been home, she has been helpful and relatively respectful. Her sense of entitlement is still sky high. Her dreams are still unrealistic. If I let her, she would happily live in a pigsty. Picking up trash behind her was and is a way of life here but even that has improved in that if I mention she left garbage somewhere, she'll jump up to get it. I still have to ask her two or three times to do something but I also know it will ultimately get done even if not quite as soon as I would like it. She's still incredibly immature. I'd put her at about 15 emotionally today, but she is growing.
Given the minuses above (and the only one that really concerns me is the entitlement issue), she is truly a changed person. Fourteen months in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) didn't change her that much. That gave her the tools to put to use today but until she hit her bottom, she wasn't going to use those tools. She does now.
I truly like the person she is becoming (at least most of the time). She's kinder, less quick to judge me, more willing to help. I don't believe this will go on forever, but I'm hoping it will go on long enough to have responsibility of some sort become an automatic part of her life.
I know this sounds awful, but may all of our children hit their personal bottom. If we're lucky, they'll climb up and out a better person.
