things are looking suspicious again

[PonyGirl]

Coming in late, sorry didn't check in yesterday.

My opinion? Ant's biggest problem is he's got a weak memory. He has forgotten all about the misery of jail. He has also forgotten all about the peace he felt in reaching out spiritually.

My biggest fear is ant's P.O. will catch on to his risky behaviors - I'm certain there's a No-Drink condition on his release? He's gonna get caught, and then he's gonna go right back to hell. He's smart enough to know that he's halfway there already.

So sorry for your hearting heart. Continue to polish your Detachment Armour. I keep ant in my prayers.
:warrior:
Peace

 

[Sunlight]

yes, he is forbidden from even being in a house with alcohol -
he thinks he is teflon apparently.
his PO only sees him once every three months!

 

[PonyGirl]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">his PO only sees him once every three months! </div></div>
:hammer: <span style='font-size: 14pt'>YOW</span>

The PO is who should be dealing with ant & consequences. hello?

When my difficult child was released, he was on a 1x WEEK visit, after almost a year he's down to 1x MONTH. He's been drug tested at least 3 times. (It's getting to be 'normal' stuff, so he's not telling me all the details anymore :cool: )

The offer of my difficult child calling your difficult child still stands. We never know what may be the fine turning point.

Peace

 

[Sunlight]

Pony, my son would simply BS your son at this point. he would paint a rosy picture and tell him how cruel I am.

boyfriend said ant lives in a very bad section of the town 20 mins from me. he could walk to the POs office!!

ant has been out of jail 7 months. the PO saw him monthly for sept and oct. in nov she moved it to two months apart and then in jan she moved it to three months apart. most of the time she is not there, and they sign a sheet at the door and leave. our county is full up and they wil not do anything unless he breaks a major law and gets picked up.

 

[PonyGirl]

Understood.

but.....just want you to know I will never forget the effort ant made in reaching out, and if we could ever repay that gesture, we surely would.

(((LARGE HUGS)))

Peace

 

[Sunlight]

ant can be so good and also so lost. sigh
he knows what he has to do / to do it right. he gets anxious and depressed and drinks it away. at that moment, he does not care about consequences he only wants the pain to stop.

I cannot help him any more than I could help his dad. you tell them what they could or should do, and then they have to choose. his dad is on remeron now and has to see a psychiatrist monthly to continue to receive his psychiatric disability. even so, he still sneaks around following me and watching my house, he still gambles to excess, lies and will not take care of himself.
he is 56.

I hope ant gets the right path before he is that old. let's face it he has been a substance abuser for 10 yrs unless under lock and key. it is chronic.

for my part, I pray for him daily. I ask God to send him a good help meet, a person who can love and inspire him. someone who can bring out the best possible ant.

besides, I do not know his address only an idea of the place he lives under a bridge area in bad housing. he has a cell phone but does not call me.

 

[ScentofCedar]

I wanted you to know I was reading along too Janet. I read your postings yesterday actually (and took strength from the way you are handling yourself during all this). I just can't think of anything comforting or positive or strengthening to say.

I'm here, though.

That's something, right? :smile:

Barbara

 

[CAmom]

I'm so sorry as well. Your and Ant's story gave me a glimmer of hope--actually, it still does because, as someone pointed out, he did do fairly well for a time and can do so again, if he chooses.

I'll add my prayers that that happens...

 

[SunnyFlorida]

Janet, now is the time to stay extra busy and to start really thinking about you. You've done all you can do. You have unturned every stone and used every resource you could to help Ant.

It's time for you. Your prayers will be listened to, they may just not be answered in the way you think they should.

If there was ever a time to detach...now is the time.

Sending you many {{{sunny hugs}}} and a whole lot of polish for that warrior armour you have. :warrior:

 

[Fran]

:crying: It's just sad that our kids sabotage themselves. I think looking at our kids as they really are is important for us to be able to detach.
I'm sorry he couldn't keep his positive life going.
Hugs Janet. Our kids leave so much hurt in their wake.

 

[hearthope]

:warrior: Cover yourself, now more than ever.

Ant is making his choices. He knows what will happen if he gets caught. He also knows how to make the choice to stay clean.

You keep yourself busy and try to find joy in something else.

Are you still in your book study? Hopefully, if you are you will find some peace there.

Thinking of you and Ant and praying for peace within you both

 

[TYLERFAN]

I am so sorry Janet :sad:

Blessings,
Melissa

 

[catwoman]

Janet, I'm sorry. You're in my prayers.

 

[KFld]

Ant's story still gives me hope because you have stayed so strong through all of this Janet. You have learned so much and we are still learning from you. Whether or not Ant was able to stay strong and out of trouble, you have been able to stand your ground and go on with your life. I think that gives us all hope!