Star*
call 911........call 911
I decided after the fawcett aerator post that we have not had a purge post in quite some time. I used to love reading what was annoying to others. Mostly? Because it gave me a chance to feel normal, not like some little weirdo that wanted to run up to the teenager in Kmart in her pajamas and bedroom mules SCUFFING her feet, scuff....scuff......scuff, scuuff scuff scuff.....and slap the slippers right off her while asking DO YOU NOT know how to pick up your feet or are you REALLY that tired that pajamas and slippers were the best you could do on a short notice - cause you are annoying the snot out of my ears.....scuff, scuff, scuu*****POPS GUM******* OMG I'm going to smack her - I am really gripping the cart right now and if it were like those "TEST YOUR STRENGTH" hammer and bell feats at the fair? I would have bent the cart handle into a club, and detached it to knock her out....scuff scuff POP.....scuff scuuf POP.
And while I'm at it? There is this FRIGGING warbler. HEAVEN HELP ME - I told the man to shut his pie hole. IN a public store. Imagine if you will - for a moment - the opeining of the Disney classic SNOW WHITE - and there are little birds flying and chirping and whistling and warbling and -------this man? This behemoth of a man - WARBLES like that. You'd swear he was back up music for Disney....and.it.annoys. the SNOW peas off my dinner plate. I'm not kidding. I told him to shut it. I think actually what I said was "Do you do that everywhere you go?" he answered yes and I said something like "WOW that is annoying as HE>>." So now when he sees me? He may come into the store warblewhistling - but puts a cork in it if he gets ANYWHERE near me.....and OMG he was whistling a BEETHOVEN sonata the other day......caught the JOURNEY song on the store radio and started whisting - DON"T STOP BELIEVING.....I think I ripped a tea towel in 1/2. possibly with my teeth.....as a show of aggression and disdane for this nimrod.
And I've mentioned change rattling in a mans pocket - WHY oh WHY do they do that? (SuRE I doNOT want to knowww)
And most recently the dogs tail was banging on some loose papers and I literally BARKED (hahah) POOTIE STOP WAGGING YOUR TAIL....to which DF walked down the hall and called me the Happiness Nazi. WHEN his wounds heal? I'll write more about him.
AND YESTERDAY - OH yesterday DF comes in and says "There's a girl in the yard, she's high, and she wants a ride to town." AND I was like WHAT do you want me to .......? I got up, went out, and looked at her little shaky body and said "What's up?" then she started with compliments (Um nitwit I'm 50, haven't showered in 3 days, I'm depressed and could eat my own young right now WTH) then went to AND I KNOW I've messed up big time - that's one me. And I'm standing there even LESS impressed. So all I need from you is - Some MONEY for cigarettes and GAS to get me back to town. I'm having a real bad day ya know?"
Okay first off - she's got the DT's from something - My best guess? Crack or meth - DF said meth. Secondly I looked at her and said "WELLLLLL I don't know what the BLINK you want ME to do about YOUR problem today. I'm unemployed and he (points back to a DF standing in the door) is on disability - so I guess your bad day ain't getting any better and you picked the wrong yard to wander up in and beg someone's 'old man' for help." She just stood there looking at me and I said "A smart girl would leave.....NOW.
She stood there looking back at DF and I looked at her and I swear to you I could have jerked her little head off - and I said "I don't know what you're looking at him for - he came in and asked me to get rid of you. You need to find your boyfriend probably parked down the road - over there; and hit the bricks." With that DF said "Well thank YOU." the whole thing took me less than 15 seconds and I was NOT in a cordial mood. I was NOT in a "Come in, sit down, we'll talk about Jesus" mood either - DF said he was worried when I said HIT ......the bricks that I was going to say before I hit you." lol. Not happening. I did say a prayer later for her...but honest to Pete - She told DF she was a Dancer and had made a poor choice - a man , blah blah blah ---(df didn't have his hearing aids in) and could HE give her a lift back to town? -------WITH WHAT? lol.....then when she was talking to me - she messed up and said GAS money. Well if you need a ride - you don't HAVE a car and need gas money you liar. And cigarettes? A PACK OF CIGARETTES.....sure why not! What are they now $5 - 6 bucks a pack - let me walk into your yard somenight and ask you for a gallon of milk and half a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Numnuts.
Okay that feels better --------NEXT?
And while I'm at it? There is this FRIGGING warbler. HEAVEN HELP ME - I told the man to shut his pie hole. IN a public store. Imagine if you will - for a moment - the opeining of the Disney classic SNOW WHITE - and there are little birds flying and chirping and whistling and warbling and -------this man? This behemoth of a man - WARBLES like that. You'd swear he was back up music for Disney....and.it.annoys. the SNOW peas off my dinner plate. I'm not kidding. I told him to shut it. I think actually what I said was "Do you do that everywhere you go?" he answered yes and I said something like "WOW that is annoying as HE>>." So now when he sees me? He may come into the store warblewhistling - but puts a cork in it if he gets ANYWHERE near me.....and OMG he was whistling a BEETHOVEN sonata the other day......caught the JOURNEY song on the store radio and started whisting - DON"T STOP BELIEVING.....I think I ripped a tea towel in 1/2. possibly with my teeth.....as a show of aggression and disdane for this nimrod.
And I've mentioned change rattling in a mans pocket - WHY oh WHY do they do that? (SuRE I doNOT want to knowww)
And most recently the dogs tail was banging on some loose papers and I literally BARKED (hahah) POOTIE STOP WAGGING YOUR TAIL....to which DF walked down the hall and called me the Happiness Nazi. WHEN his wounds heal? I'll write more about him.
AND YESTERDAY - OH yesterday DF comes in and says "There's a girl in the yard, she's high, and she wants a ride to town." AND I was like WHAT do you want me to .......? I got up, went out, and looked at her little shaky body and said "What's up?" then she started with compliments (Um nitwit I'm 50, haven't showered in 3 days, I'm depressed and could eat my own young right now WTH) then went to AND I KNOW I've messed up big time - that's one me. And I'm standing there even LESS impressed. So all I need from you is - Some MONEY for cigarettes and GAS to get me back to town. I'm having a real bad day ya know?"
Okay first off - she's got the DT's from something - My best guess? Crack or meth - DF said meth. Secondly I looked at her and said "WELLLLLL I don't know what the BLINK you want ME to do about YOUR problem today. I'm unemployed and he (points back to a DF standing in the door) is on disability - so I guess your bad day ain't getting any better and you picked the wrong yard to wander up in and beg someone's 'old man' for help." She just stood there looking at me and I said "A smart girl would leave.....NOW.
She stood there looking back at DF and I looked at her and I swear to you I could have jerked her little head off - and I said "I don't know what you're looking at him for - he came in and asked me to get rid of you. You need to find your boyfriend probably parked down the road - over there; and hit the bricks." With that DF said "Well thank YOU." the whole thing took me less than 15 seconds and I was NOT in a cordial mood. I was NOT in a "Come in, sit down, we'll talk about Jesus" mood either - DF said he was worried when I said HIT ......the bricks that I was going to say before I hit you." lol. Not happening. I did say a prayer later for her...but honest to Pete - She told DF she was a Dancer and had made a poor choice - a man , blah blah blah ---(df didn't have his hearing aids in) and could HE give her a lift back to town? -------WITH WHAT? lol.....then when she was talking to me - she messed up and said GAS money. Well if you need a ride - you don't HAVE a car and need gas money you liar. And cigarettes? A PACK OF CIGARETTES.....sure why not! What are they now $5 - 6 bucks a pack - let me walk into your yard somenight and ask you for a gallon of milk and half a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Numnuts.
Okay that feels better --------NEXT?