I don't want to reiterate my whole story, it's kind of summarized in my signature. I moved out with my wonderful boyfriend 3 weeks ago. The new house is lovely, HE is lovely to live with...the best person I've ever shared space with. Etc. Etc. It's a beautiful existence, I really mean that. Son (23) has been set up in his own place. He never managed (or really tried) to get a job before move out date. He has no license, but is a few blocks from the public bus and just a little farther to a major shopping area. And yet...still not working. He's hungry. He keeps falling apart. Broke his phone, lost his wallet. Has a roommate, but he also has a history of losing friends, so that's a worry. I've sent him some groceries using Amazon Prime Pantry, gave him my old phone, instructions on replacing the contents of his wallet. He has been promised a monthly "allowance" up to a certain (pretty generous, actually) dollar value. And still he can't make ends meet because he doesn't do a thing to contribute himself. I guess I don't know what I'm saying here, other than WHY is this so hard? For me, I mean. My thinking brain is like.... geez, if he can't make it with this massive amount of support, that's just crazy. But my heart...it's hard to be so happy and comfortable when I know my offspring are not. And I hate myself for feeling that way. I absolutely dread the day when it all comes crumbling down and I have to say no to letting him live with me again. Because living with him is like being held hostage. He doesn't contribute or help. He makes messes, is gross, refuses to follow rules, and mostly is just mean and doesn't care. Plus I live in a place (rural) where he couldn't access employment without a car, anyway. So then he REALLY wouldn't be working. This is where that article on detachment has become like a bible. I mean it. Literally all of my real life friends have the attitude that they would walk through fire to help their children. But those are people whose children would never NEED them to walk through fire to help. When that does become the situation...well, it's not quite that easy. Thanks for listening.