Welcome!! This is a great group and I am glad you are here, though sorry you needed to find us, Know what I mean?? There is a LOT of info here, and the abbreviations may take some time to get used to. If you put the cursor on an abbreviation you don't understand, a short definition will show up. If you can create a signature, like the one at the bottom of my post, it will help us keep the details straight and not have us asking you the same things over and over. PLEASE do not use your real names, and do not mention names of doctors, hospitals, clinics, etc.... This is a public forum and it is important to remember that anyone can read what you post. This is NOT meant to keep you from posting, just to maintain your and your child's privacy and safety. We also don't use photos of our children or post them for the same reasons.
Has he had a private Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation? I would have one done if at all possible because it could be a coordination problem. My boys both have had trouble using both hands at the same time and often they don't bend their fingers at the 2nd and 3rd knuckles. It is not conscious, they just have hand problems. It is part of a coordination disorder and of dysgraphia (learning disorder with writing, just as dyslexia is a learning disorder about reading).
Have you had him tested by a neuropsychologist or a developmental pediatrician? Neuropsychs have special training in how the brain and behavior are related and a complete evaluation involves 8-12 hours of testing broken up into several appointments (might be a big shorter due to his age, but more comprehensive when he is older). Many of us have had excellent results from neuropsychologist testing. Dev peds have special training in how kids develop and problems that can occur at various stages. I had excellent help from ours. I strongly recommend having private evaluations done when possible because those who work for the schools, while usually having the BEST intentions and motives, are often limited to seeing how things affect the school day instead of the entire life.
Does he have an sensory issues? Problems with certain clothing, tags, seams, smells, tastes, picky eater, noises, certain movements, watch tv sitting on his head, seeking or avoiding any kind of sensations? If so, those should be evaluated by an Occupational Therapist (OT) and may be a part of his problems. The great thing about sensory issues is that they can be helped and often NO medications are needed. Sensory issues exist because the brain is not handling sensory input in the normal way - there is a glitch somewhere. There is therapy for this and often it is FUN. They have PROVEN that some of the therapies, esp brushing and joint compressions, actually create new pathways in the brain - rewiring how the brain handles things!!!! You can cause huge problems if you don't do this the right way, so it MUST be taught by an Occupational Therapist (OT). Once taught, you do it at home. It is not long or painful and many kids like it. Our Occupational Therapist (OT) said that the odd hand posturing was related to the sensory integration disorder.
You can learn more about sensory integration disorder by reading The Out of Sync Child and The Out of Sync Child Has Fun, both by Kranowitz. The Has Fun book is full of activities to provide the different sensory stimulation that the child needs (called a sensory diet) and has ways to make the activities inexpensive. We wore out our first copy of this book because the entire family enjoyed it. I also learned that by paying attention to what my child liked to do and providing ways to do those things and similar things, we were already providing many of the things he needed. in my opinion it helped that he was our 3rd and we were a LOT more relaxed about kids doing strange things like watching tv while sitting on his head instead of his tushie on the couch. The first title explains the disorder and ways to treat it and is very informative. I found it fascinating.
Why do they say that he has bipolar? What medicines is he on and who diagnosed him? Is there a history of bipolar and/or substance abuse in either side of the family? I ask about sub abuse NOT to pass judgement, but because often it is an attempt to self medicate an undiagnosed problem or a problem that existed when there wasn't any treatment. I strongly recommend you get a copy of "The Bipolar Child" by Papalous and read it. It is an excellent tool for understanding childhood bipolar disease and for treating it.
Right now there are a LOT of doctors who are prescribing antidepressants for bipolar disorder. This is scary because ad's have been proven to cause mood cycling, which is what treatment is supposed to prevent. The book describes the approved medication protocol for the disorder and if this is what they are treating your son for, I would insist they follow the protocol (devised NOT by parents or one doctor, but by the Amer Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatrists). It starts with 1 mood stabilizer and if needed an atypical antipsychotic and another mood stabilizer can be added. These are introduced slowly and gradually until a therapeutic level is reached - it can take 4-6 weeks at the therapeutic level to know if they are the right medication. It is a slow process and not an easy one, but if the diagnosis is correct, this is your son's best chance to get this under control. Often once the right medications are at the right level, most problems go away. Any remaining problems can be treated by carefully introducing other medications, but if those medications cause mood cycling then they have to be stopped.
This is a lot of info, and I am only going to add one more thing. There are 2 books that most of us have found work with kids with any problem. The Explosive Child by Ross Greene is invaluable. It isn't a long read and the techniques may seem counter-intuitive but they work. They are NOT traditional parenting, but our kids don't respond to that anyway. What Your Explosive Child is Trying To Tell You by Dr. Doug Riley is amazing. These books give you help that you can use NOW, without waiting for appointments or to see if a medication will work. They help you see what your child is thinking and feeling, and that helps you figure out the best way to help him. Dr. Riley is a member of this forum and you can search for his name and find things he posted when the book came out. He has great ideas and info, in my opinion.
Welcome and (((((hugs)))))
Remember - Kids do well when they are able, NOT when they want to.