Update | mostly positive

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by WiseChoices, Sep 20, 2019.

  1. WiseChoices

    WiseChoices Active Member

    Hi all,
    DC1 got a job a few weeks ago. It's at a large discount store, min. wage, but it's better than not working at all .They let him start very quickly, and he applied and followed up with a visit on his own accord and the in person visit got him the interview. So he was acting on his own behalf! It's not utilizing his degree, but it's a start.

    The medications seem to be helping. He is on Wellbutrin and Buspar (non addictive anti anxiety medications). The Wellbutrin gives him energy and he seems to be doing well on the medications even though he had a panic attack at work despite the Buspar .

    I told him yesterday that now that he is working , I will give him October to work a full month and then Nov 1 , I want him to start paying toward household expenses: $100 for electric, $100 for food, and $25 for his phone line every first of the month.
    He confided that he had gotten a speeding ticket the day before ($278 plus $264 to elect to go to driving school !!!) And had kept it from me because he did not want a lecture . He wanted me to look over the ticket etc to make sure he was handling it all ok. I only listened and helped with the information he specifically wanted from me .I then told him I would not lecture him as he is an adult and I am done parenting him. That we relate to each other adult to adult now which is why I am charging him towards household expenses.

    Because he was worried about money with the speeding ticket, I was able to teach him a little basic money management which is something he has refused to hear from me so far. He will be able to meet all his financial obligations with an organized system with his money. He thanked me afterwards and even asked for a hug!

    In the past, I would have "helped" (enabled) by paying the ticket and it never even crossed my mind!!!! He has already realized that he needs a better paying job and is continuing to apply everywhere he can.

    I feel optimistic today with his efforts! Thank you for listening.
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  2. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Good move in the right direction. I do hope that he continues to do for himself. That is only when the grow up on the inside!
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  3. JayPee

    JayPee Sending good vibes...


    This sounds so encouraging. You really stayed in your own lane and some progress is being made. I’m truly happy for these nuggets of goodness you are receiving.

    You are such a lovely lady and I pray he continues on the right path for your sake and his.
  4. elizabrary

    elizabrary Active Member

    Good for him. I never cared what kind of job my daughter had, as long as she had a job. He can continue to look for something better and make money in the meantime. And good for you for having him contribute to the household and holding your tongue about the speeding ticket. That's very hard to do sometimes, but in the long run it is for the best. Happy for your good news!!!
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  5. WiseChoices

    WiseChoices Active Member

    Thank you all! You are the best! I appreciate your support so very much.
  6. B’smom

    B’smom Member

    What a great update! I hope he continues down this positive path!
  7. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I am so pleased for him (and you.) He will build on this success.
  8. Blindsided

    Blindsided Face the Sun

    So happy to hear this. It sure is a step in the right direction for both of you.

    Thank you for sharing. It gives hope that a level headed thinking approach produces feelings of accomplishment for all.
  9. BusynMember

    BusynMember Well-Known Member

    Prayers for more progress yet to come.
  10. WiseChoices

    WiseChoices Active Member

    Thank you, dear Busy!
  11. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    Such positive news, Wise! Wishing him a continued upward trajectory!
  12. Beta

    Beta Active Member

    That's great news. You both made some positive steps. I'm so glad that you had such an encouraging experience with your son. That must feel so good!
  13. DaisyC1234

    DaisyC1234 Member

    This is great news! Baby steps towards the right direction. One foot in front of the other, pretty soon we look back and realize how far we have come.