Update on my difficult child

[Nancy]

Kathy,

Your difficult child is beeeeeeautiful. Her eyes are so bright and yes you can see the happiness in them. He rstory is what I so hope will be our story one day. The similarities are striking. My difficult child has beautiflu huge eyes too but lately they are dark and angry looking. Her drinking and drug use have clouded them over and sucked the life out of our home. I struggle every day keeping that part of my life in a small corner so that we don't all lose it.

I have mentioned this to you before but I believe college is not right for my difficult child either, and she has always had an interest in hair design. She is also on the verge of being kicked out of the house and living on the street. We took her car away so she doesn't even have that option. I pray every day for her to decide she doesn't want to live like this any longer.

I am so proud of your difficult child. I know how hard you worked to make this happen and you have given me a lot of support and hope that someday my difficult child may learn the same lesson.

My easy child will be starting her fifth year of college lol, so much for changing majors. She will be student teaching this year and then hopefully trying to find a job in this difficult market. Like I say, our similarities are striking.

It's so nice to see you again and I think of you often.

Nancy

P.S. I just noticed you have two shih-tzu's. I have one too. She is now 10 years old and starting to show her age. Had her at the vet three times last month for some sort of episode that cost an arm and leg and still didn't identify what was wrong. Perhaps neurological, not sure. But she is back to jumping on our bed wanting to go on her nightly walks, so all is good.

 

[Fran]

Kathy how wonderful to hear your update.
Your difficult child is stunning. I'm glad to hear that she is working on making the inside be equally as beautiful.
Congrats to her for having perseverance to get through, graduate and get licensed. It's something no one can take away from her. She will appreciate that more as she gets older and realizes that you are handicapped if you are financially dependent on a spouse and you aren't happy.
Sending big hugs to you for seeing her through to this juncture.

Thanks for the update. We all need hope to keep going.

 

[Nomad]

How wonderful for the update and that your daughter is going to school studying something she loves.

College is not in the cards for our difficult child it seems.

She has not been living at home (she's in an apt) and for the most part, we've just had to deal with the oddities of all of that. There are many positives...in that she doesn't seem to really get involved with anything hideous, but her decisions still aren't all that great and we've had on and off days of difficulties. We have detached. She does seem to try and more and more she understands what's what.

difficult child has recently expressed what seems like a sincere interest in a trade. Sadly, the best school for this is private and a good hour drive from our home. We are in the talking stages....fingers crossed, prayers, etc.

Very recently, my easy child got married to a wonderful girl...wonderful wedding...just really good stuff there.

Congrats Kathy! The good news is well welcomed and I am keeping a good thought!!!!!!!

 

[busywend]

Yes, I see the sparkle in her eyes, too! Wonderful update!

Keeping fingers crossed the goodness continues!

 

[Nomad]

Just saw the photo...
wow...beatiful girl!
Tell her my hairdresser makes almost as much as my doctor...and I ain't kidding. It took her a little while to get there and the economy has slowed things just a little, but she does very well.
She should be PROUD and I bet you are RELIEVED.
We are sooooo happy for her, but also for YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
Wishing you all good things...please say a prayer for us!

 

[Kathy813]

I had a long post ready saying hello to the Fran, Nancy, Nomad, and busywend and went back to correct punctuation and poof . . . it disappeared into cyberspace! I had forgotten about those aggravating moments on the site!

I'll try again. . .

Fran ~ I tried many times to marry my difficult child off to your difficult child. See what he is missing?

Nancy ~ I was keeping my fingers and toes crossed that your difficult child would graduate! I am so happy for you and difficult child. As you know, we were at the same place as you are now not all that long ago. I bet that your difficult child will finally "get it." I was big on compartmentalizing, too. I used to say that I would put all of the difficult child stuff in a box (mentally speaking) and lock it up so I could be happy and functioning in the rest of my life. The girls still tease me when they tell me things that they know I don't want to hear and ask me if it is going in the box.

Nomad ~ I think that your difficult child living away from home is best for everybody. I know that I always get along best with my difficult child when she is not living here. by the way, congratulations on your son's marriage! I read your posts and am thrilled for you.

busywend ~ Congratulations on your daughter's graduation. I was keeping my fingers crossed that it would happen. It is always such a relief when you know that they at least have their high school diploma.

DDD ~ One site I can think of off the top of my head is www.coolmath.com
It was written for teenagers and makes math easy to understand and speaks to their level. It has tutorials and interactive practice problems for Algebra 1 and Algebra 2. I don't think it covers geometry, though. I don't teach geometry but I will ask at school tomorrow and see if the geometry teachers have any suggestions.

What type of business does your sister in law have? Would he have any use for a product/project software manager?

Janet ~ I didn't know that Maks was on Superstars. How could I have missed Maks in bicycle shorts? Be still my heart.

I hope that I haven't missed saying hello to anybody.

~Kathy

 

[DDD]

Rats, Kathy. The business is a catering business that specializes in private school services. I can't imagine that there would be an appropriate niche for that area of expertise but I'll toss the idea and if there is an opportunity I'll find you.

Thanks for the math site. I'll try to exert what influence I have left to get difficult child trying to get up to speed.

Your friend, DDD

 

[CrazyinVA]

Kathy, I'm so glad you posted, and so glad your difficult child is doing so well! I remember how many times I'd read your posts and see my Oldest in them.. this gives me some hope that maybe one day she'll turn things around for good.

 

[Star*]

That is just FREEEEEEEEEEEEaky - She is a DEAD ON ringer for MY sister at that age - and I mean I thought I opened a picture of My sister at 18-19 with a cool hair cut (we had 80's hair) =

She's lovely.

Good to see you again and catch up. Just who gave you permission to leave anyway?

 

[Estherfromjerusalem]

What a beautiful child! She is just gorgeous.

And great update.

All in all, a pleasure to read your post, Kathy.

Love, Esther

 

[tiredmommy]

Hi Kathy- I'm not sure if you remember but thank you for the great update. It gives a lot of hope to those of us with younger kids.

 

[Kathy813]

Hello Crazy, Esther, Star, and TM. Tm, of course, I remember you! I wasn't gone that long. LOL.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply to my update. Things are going relatively well for us right now. difficult child is studying for her state board exam that she will take on July 27th.

Keep a good thought for her. She has gone job hunting but they all say the same thing . . . come back after you get your license. I told her to just use the next two weeks to study.

Here's the funny part . . . I haven't let her near me with a pair of scissors. I love the way my hairsylist cuts my hair and I just can't bring myself to let difficult child cut it. Something about letting my difficult child loose on my hair with a pair of scissors just scares me.

I think I'll start with letting her highlight my hair. At least that can be covered up.

~Kathy

 

[Suz]

Kathy, I have a leak between the sunroom and the house. Fortunately it leaks into the sunroom and not the dining room.

I got quotes to have it fixed. I even hired someone to fix it. It didn't work.

Meanwhile, Rob is a roofer. For the last year or so he's said, "I'll do it, Mom."

Yeah, right, says I (to myself, remembering the destruction from his attempts to "fix things" in the past)....

But I finally caved..........and you know what? KNOCK ON WOOD..........by George, I think he fixed the dang thing! KNOCK ON WOOD!

My point, of course, is to some day give her a chance. lol- note, I said *some day* ---it took me over a year to give Rob that chance.

Suz

 

[Kathy813]

All in all, Suz, I think I'd rather take a chance on her fixing my roof than cutting my hair.

What if she is still mad about being grounded when she was 16? I could end up looking like this:

Seriously, though, she did a great job on easy child's hair and husband's hair. I told her that I just wanted her to get a little more experience before she cuts mine.

~Kathy

 

[KTMom91]

Your daughter is beautiful! Thanks so much for the post...I need to hear that dreams can come true.

 

[Suz]

I think I'd rather take a chance on her fixing my roof than cutting my hair.

I hear ya, Kathy.

Suz

 

[Lothlorien]

Hiya Kathy! I don't get over to this side of the forums too often. I saw the update and wow! How awesome! She is a beautiful girl....really beautiful. I'm so glad she's straightened her life out and is doing well.

 

[WhymeMom?]

Thanks for the update on your difficult child......its great that she came to you and actually talked to you about changing her college choice...... the normal reaction is just flunk out....... hope things go well with the job hunt and she can get a job that will lead to her independence ......meaning move out.........

 

[saving grace]

Hi Kathy, I love love checking in here and finding positive updates such as yours. I also have not been around in some time but I have dropped in and posted a few updates as well. Your daughter is gorgeous, I am so happy that she has found her "thing". She will make a great hairdresser. I love seeing them happy, I prayed and prayed many a night to just see a smile on my sons face. My prayers were answered and it looks like yours were too.
Grace