Bettyboo44
Member
I posted previously about my sons, my eldest is out of prison and doing okay, but continues drinking so I know it won’t last very long and I’m dreading what’s ahead. Prison again, domestic abuse, who knows, it’s a horrible waiting game and one I don’t want to keep playing. However I am grateful he’s doing okay at the moment and is staying in his own place and has maintained a job.
My youngest son (23) who lives with me also continues drinking but today he came rushing down to me in my car..(we were leaving to go to the recycling centre, and I was waiting for him in the car because he went back in home to get his phone) to inform me there was a fire in his room! Of course my first reaction was to go back in home to check what was happening and the house was stinking of smoke and his carpet in his room and part of his bed was burnt!
He had put out the fire but I was totally confused as how this happened and after questioning him, he claimed it was a disposable vape that was on his carpet that must have burst and set alight, but that’s highly unlikely and there was a lighter that was burnt down to almost nothing. We live in a flat in a building with 5 other flats..all I could think of was what if he hadn’t went back up to get his phone. Currently it’s just past 3am and he left home about 5 hours ago indicating he won’t be back, as in a way that he has so frequently before. He’s threatened suicide to me on numerous occasions and part of me just thinks I can’t keep living in fear of what he says he’s going to do but of course the other part of me won’t let me relax, because I can’t help wondering where he is, is he okay. But also is this part of a manipulative game, rather than focusing on how his room went on a mini fire, the focus is now on him. Either way, neither of these things are okay. His bedroom is utterly undesirable (even before the fire!) and unfortunately his personal hygiene has diminished so much it’s now pretty much non existent, plus his own personal outlook on life and how crap everything is and what’s the point ,etc 24/7 constantly is beyond draining and soul destroying to live with and I simply can’t keep carrying on in this situation but I don’t know how to get out of it. To move, means he’ll have to find his own place, but I’m thinking surely that has to be better than this, for both our sakes? As in if not that, then this cycle…this dangerous cycle won’t ever stop?
My youngest son (23) who lives with me also continues drinking but today he came rushing down to me in my car..(we were leaving to go to the recycling centre, and I was waiting for him in the car because he went back in home to get his phone) to inform me there was a fire in his room! Of course my first reaction was to go back in home to check what was happening and the house was stinking of smoke and his carpet in his room and part of his bed was burnt!
He had put out the fire but I was totally confused as how this happened and after questioning him, he claimed it was a disposable vape that was on his carpet that must have burst and set alight, but that’s highly unlikely and there was a lighter that was burnt down to almost nothing. We live in a flat in a building with 5 other flats..all I could think of was what if he hadn’t went back up to get his phone. Currently it’s just past 3am and he left home about 5 hours ago indicating he won’t be back, as in a way that he has so frequently before. He’s threatened suicide to me on numerous occasions and part of me just thinks I can’t keep living in fear of what he says he’s going to do but of course the other part of me won’t let me relax, because I can’t help wondering where he is, is he okay. But also is this part of a manipulative game, rather than focusing on how his room went on a mini fire, the focus is now on him. Either way, neither of these things are okay. His bedroom is utterly undesirable (even before the fire!) and unfortunately his personal hygiene has diminished so much it’s now pretty much non existent, plus his own personal outlook on life and how crap everything is and what’s the point ,etc 24/7 constantly is beyond draining and soul destroying to live with and I simply can’t keep carrying on in this situation but I don’t know how to get out of it. To move, means he’ll have to find his own place, but I’m thinking surely that has to be better than this, for both our sakes? As in if not that, then this cycle…this dangerous cycle won’t ever stop?
