Update to Son asking to tie me up

[susiestar]

Learner,

I also question if this is real. The more I think about this the more your focus seems very wrong for a real issue, for something that really happened.

I would expect if this really happened for you to be concerned with how to make sure it does not happen, that he does not tie you up, that he does not tie anyone else up.

But you are just worried about how to untie yourself?

Can you see why Steely and I are somewhat incredulous over this??

 

[bran155]

I am questioning the integrity of this post as well. I went back and read all of the posts written by you. The first one tells us that your son questioned you with regards to tying you up. Then you tell us that you feel better because you had a 10 minute conversation about it!!! Then you ask what to do if it happens. Then boom, it happens!! Now you want to know what to do when it happens again. I am so confused as are the others I'm sure.

If in deed this did really happen, you have a big problem on your hands. You NEED TO GET HIM OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!!!! The fact that he is still living with you and you have smaller children that he could so easily do this to is a HUGE RED FLAG!!! If this was my difficult child, the police would have had to either take her or take me because there would be no chance in hell that I would allow her to live here and try this on my younger son!!!!!

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

OK, adding in my two cents as well.

Learner, I also went back and read all of your posts. And I, too, am wondering about the whole truth here. What popped out at me is that you were so interested in the gory details of another board member whose son did the same thing. That scared me. Another thing is that in this new thread, the very first post you wrote, you said that this happened in June. JUNE! It's January. What have you been doing in the interem? What has HE been doing in the interem?

I really want to give you the benefit of the doubt. It is in my nature to help someone if they need help. If this is really really for real, then here is my suggestion. Get him out of the house. And SusieStar raised a very valid concern. I do not think that you were the first person that he has done this to. Nor do I think that you were the biggest person that he has done this to.Marguerite also raised a very valid point. If you figure out how to get out of the ties, it raises the bar Chances are he tried it on a child first. Very likely he has been raising the bar all along. Maybe he started with a child, then he moved on to you. This has not been said yet, but I believe that there are some sexual undertones to all this. What happens next time? The possibility of (heaven forbid) torture or rape is very real.

Sorry if I sound harsh, but I think you are in a bit of denial over the severity of the situation.

Mods, please edit or delete as you see fit. This really concerns me.

 

[DaisyFace]

Hello Learner--

It does seem as though there is more to your postings than meets the eye...

And I am sorry if I am way out of line...but here it what I am interpreting:

When young men have fantasies about dominating and controlling others this way...it is often because they are sexually aroused by the violent nature of this type of act. However...in many other ways, these guys may be perfectly "normal", even downright sweet...wouldn't hurt a fly. But they are so obsessed with these fantasies that they try to convince a loved one to allow him to do it to her (usually a wife or a girlfriend...sometimes a relative).

And the loved one finds herself in the position of submitting to this young man in order to make him happy. Now she often really doesn't even want to--but "giving in" seems to keep him on a even keel, so to speak. And so she tries to find ways to go along--but doesn't want to go along too far...because some of the things he has in mind are really very, very scary.

Eventually...someone is going to become the victim of a terrible, terrible crime. Either the loved one--or more likely, after the loved one finally says "Enough! No More!"--a random stranger on the street...a person to whom this young man owes no allegiance.

You are NOT helping him if you are trying to go along with his fantasies to keep him happy...

Please, please recognize that this will get much, much worse if someone does not intervene to help this young man...before it is too late.

Save him! Save yourself! Save the young woman he may accidentally cross paths with on a day that you are not around....

Please...make that call.