We may loose our rights to Grandkids

[Jen]

For those that may not know me, my difficult child has 3 kids from his ex fiance. He has lost his right to see them over a yr ago. He has not complied in doing what education he needs to do, as she did. But again was never forwarded the same rights and opportunites as ex over the issue that landed them in court.

We had to go to court on several occassins to get the opportunity to see them. We had to go through supervised visits as we were the guilty ones. the ex fiance parents never had too. We finally one our visitation independence in excahnge for not placing her in jail when she was in contempt for not bringiong the kids to the supervised visits on two occasions.

When we set up the visits it was pretty generic one weekend a month that worked out for her and us, and holiday time. She ended up taking a different job that placed us on the same weekend. So I was working only seeing them for a total of 10 hours out of 50 hours. Did not take them at holiday times because tro difficult with having my difficult child son and his family to come.

 

[Jen]

Sorry I had to leave for a few minutes.
Any way, I decided to take grandaughter with me to Sams. Pulled in to the lot, came around the car and my son pulled up. He was in town for his in laws wedding, and saw me pull in. I opened the back door and he realized his daughter was there. even though he did not call her by name and he was wearing sunglasses, she recognized him, and began throwing a fit wanting him to hold her. He calmed her down, he left, and we went in the store to buy bulk diapers.

I get a phone call from difficult children ex's boyfriend telling me we have a problem, that we cannot see the kids anymore til he talks with the lawyer, her lawyer. He refused to let me talk with grandkids Mom. Again accused me of being a liar after I told him she saw her real Dad. Well Why didnt you send him a way... I did. Well why didnt you tell the mom last night what happened. I didnt respond. Long story short he hung up.

OKay the story background is he is originally aware before this that we were seeking out our lawyer for assistance, adn I told this to difficult child ex fiance. The boyfriend is not letting us talk at times to ex fiance, he is tryuing toset up visits, and he is not on the court order papers. He has called me up in the past when he is drunk cussed me out and called me a liar. He has never apologized and informed last night that he never will. She failed to give us the kids for last month, because she had to check with hjim foirst, adn since it was not on the weekend she was working they told us they have plans, after she told me originally she didnt. He has time and time again called me when I have told him not. This time as like the others even though he has his own cell, he uses her to call, so I think it is her calling.

So I am now awaiting to hear from my lawyer. What I told you above was why I didnt bring it up to her because he does not let us be alone to have a conversation. I knew this is how he would react. I beleive he interrogates my 3 yr old grandaughter every time she comes home from our visits because after seeing her daddy and my husband talking about him too her the next day she never once said I saw my real Daddy.

It is ironic because I was going to alos talk to the lawyer about a restraining order on him cause he cant get it through his head I dont want to talk with him. They are not even engaged to get married. I think she is in the same controlling r/tionship with him as she was with my son.

We do alot for these kids and for her and he is willing to jeperodize all this over a mole hill in my opinion.

I think it is pretty good that we have only ran into my son once in the 8 months of visits. We dont live in a metropolitan area.

Jen

 

[Sunlight]

I hope you can work out something.

 

[KFld]

I'll keep my fingers crossed that things work out in your favor.

 

[Suz]

I'm sorry, Jen. :frown:

Suz

 

[Hound dog]

Jen

This may not interrupt your visitation. I mean, you cannot be expected to control if your son shows up in a public environment while you're there with the grandkids. You did what you were supposed to do and he left.

It does sound like ex is once again in a controling relationship. Sounds like the boyfriend wants to get you out of the picture for fear ex will reunite with your son.

If it were me, I'd attempt to speak with ex directly. I'd do my best to keep it pleasant while reminding her that you do make a difference in the grandkids lives.

Then I'd be seeing my lawyer. Usually I try to "make nice" with the new person (regardless of how I feel about them), but this jerk is trying to deny you court given rights to see your grandkids when he has no authority to do so. I'd still do my best to always be polite, and sickening sweet, while off to the side work on getting your rights nailed down and squash his "power trip" like a bug.

((((hugs)))))

I know how had this is for you. Hang in there.

 

[DammitJanet]

I wouldnt do anymore "talking" to these people on the phone because it cant be verified. Send them either emails or certified letters so you have proof of all correspondence. Cover yourself.

If you want to set up visitation, send a letter. If you want to report something that happened during a visit, send a note or an email. Dont accept their calls...block them if you can. If not, let them all go to voicemail.