The honeymoon is over. It was sooo nice while it lasted.
difficult child has been slipping lately. He's gone out with some friends three times now and each time I would bet my life he's used some drugs. Call it a mother's intuition, not too mention he hid the clothes he was wearing when he came home. Why hide them if you have nothing to hide??
He lost his job the other day. He did manage to pay off a huge debt he had incurred from a cell phone bill he let go by. I'm happy to report that hubby and I contributed absolutely nothing to his $800.00 bill. He spent all of his hard earned money paying it off himself. I don't think he'll be getting another cell phone anytime soon.
He seemed to be working hard at his part time job although not 150% so I'm not surprised they let him go. He would wear his lip ring when they told him not to, his "closing" shifts weren't always done like they should have been, but the manager did say he would give a kind word for him as he was always kind, respectful and good with the customers (I spoke with the manager and heard these words myself - long story - need to work on my detachment issues).
He stopped going to his psychiatrist a little while back but I told him last week you better get back there and he went to an appointment. We'll see if he keeps it up.
His girlfriend is moving here on Sunday to start her 3rd year of college and I think difficult child is moving in with her (unless he blows it first). She hates drugs, smoking, meat, etc.. and of course he's been dishonest. He says he's quit smoking when he hasn't and like I said before, I know he's used some drugs. How long will this last?
My problem is, I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do. I don't want him here. I don't trust him, he's lazy, he drives my hubby crazy with his laziness and gluttony and now he has NO job! I'm praying that the relationship lasts until Sunday so he can move out. I feel so badly about not wanting my son around. He hasn't slipped up "real" bad and his doctor told me that there would be slip ups along the way and he would bounce back. But i feel like I've been kicked in the face. I've given him so many opportunities to truly change his ways and grow up. If I kick him out into the street I'm positive he'll go the wrong way. If he stays here he'll continue to be too comfortable, go out ocassionally and use drugs, sleep all day, leave messes for everyone, etc.. These are rules that he knows he is not supposed to abuse but he does them anyway and when you call him on it, he says "I'll try harder, but you're always on my case". What do you do to a 19 year old when he blatantly doesn't try? There isn't much to take away from him, he doesn't care.
So there is my dilemma. I don't want to be the one that pushes him full force into the life he was living before, but I don't want to enable the person he is right now. Am I a terrible mother for not wanting him at all right now?
Thanks....
Michelle
difficult child has been slipping lately. He's gone out with some friends three times now and each time I would bet my life he's used some drugs. Call it a mother's intuition, not too mention he hid the clothes he was wearing when he came home. Why hide them if you have nothing to hide??
He lost his job the other day. He did manage to pay off a huge debt he had incurred from a cell phone bill he let go by. I'm happy to report that hubby and I contributed absolutely nothing to his $800.00 bill. He spent all of his hard earned money paying it off himself. I don't think he'll be getting another cell phone anytime soon.
He seemed to be working hard at his part time job although not 150% so I'm not surprised they let him go. He would wear his lip ring when they told him not to, his "closing" shifts weren't always done like they should have been, but the manager did say he would give a kind word for him as he was always kind, respectful and good with the customers (I spoke with the manager and heard these words myself - long story - need to work on my detachment issues).
He stopped going to his psychiatrist a little while back but I told him last week you better get back there and he went to an appointment. We'll see if he keeps it up.
His girlfriend is moving here on Sunday to start her 3rd year of college and I think difficult child is moving in with her (unless he blows it first). She hates drugs, smoking, meat, etc.. and of course he's been dishonest. He says he's quit smoking when he hasn't and like I said before, I know he's used some drugs. How long will this last?
My problem is, I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do. I don't want him here. I don't trust him, he's lazy, he drives my hubby crazy with his laziness and gluttony and now he has NO job! I'm praying that the relationship lasts until Sunday so he can move out. I feel so badly about not wanting my son around. He hasn't slipped up "real" bad and his doctor told me that there would be slip ups along the way and he would bounce back. But i feel like I've been kicked in the face. I've given him so many opportunities to truly change his ways and grow up. If I kick him out into the street I'm positive he'll go the wrong way. If he stays here he'll continue to be too comfortable, go out ocassionally and use drugs, sleep all day, leave messes for everyone, etc.. These are rules that he knows he is not supposed to abuse but he does them anyway and when you call him on it, he says "I'll try harder, but you're always on my case". What do you do to a 19 year old when he blatantly doesn't try? There isn't much to take away from him, he doesn't care.
So there is my dilemma. I don't want to be the one that pushes him full force into the life he was living before, but I don't want to enable the person he is right now. Am I a terrible mother for not wanting him at all right now?
Thanks....
Michelle
