scent of cedar
New Member
We have been sending difficult child money every week. Only $30. Someone had taken her in. The money was to help pay for internet/phone and buy things like laundry soap. As it turned out, the abusive male was living there, too. Some days later, he was thrown out by the woman who had taken difficult child in. Sneaked back, grabbed difficult child, and was beaten up by those still living in the house. Wound up in the hospital for two days. The weapon he brought with him was a fence post studded with nails.
After that, difficult child would actually go and sleep on the streets with the abusive male.
Now, she is with him in a city farther from here. She wants us to send her weekly money to the person whose house they are staying in. Says they are looking for work there and that she has a good chance of getting a job there.
I'm angry. I feel stupid. I see it, that we are being manipulated. Despite our repeated offers to difficult child that she come home, we have not seen her once in the five weeks we have been here.
Looks like I have been distracting myself with all that shame work.
Somehow, husband and I have convinced ourselves that helping difficult child as we have been was the right thing to do. husband does not want to "throw his daughter away." At the same time, we have been dealing with her storage unit, and are sending out a check for $100 today to cover last month's rent and this month's. (Which we hadn't paid yet, because difficult child was to meet us and go there to get her things ~ which never happened, somehow.)
I talked to both owners of the storage unit yesterday. They are decent people. I don't want to stiff them with the storage unit fees or the mess of cleaning the stupid thing out.
The first time I saw difficult child after we got back (on Facebook ~ did you know you can do free video calls on FB?) she had a black, black eye and a closed head injury. That was shocking. So, in addition to the lacerated liver thing (which must be resolved now) she's been hit so hard that her brain was swelling. That was all part of this, too. That whole idea that difficult child will be (the D word).
husband refused to go to the NAMI meeting. I didn't go, either.
Talk about a case of the blind leading the blind.
But in one light, it all seems so reasonable, so hopeful.
Barbara
After that, difficult child would actually go and sleep on the streets with the abusive male.
Now, she is with him in a city farther from here. She wants us to send her weekly money to the person whose house they are staying in. Says they are looking for work there and that she has a good chance of getting a job there.
I'm angry. I feel stupid. I see it, that we are being manipulated. Despite our repeated offers to difficult child that she come home, we have not seen her once in the five weeks we have been here.
Looks like I have been distracting myself with all that shame work.
Somehow, husband and I have convinced ourselves that helping difficult child as we have been was the right thing to do. husband does not want to "throw his daughter away." At the same time, we have been dealing with her storage unit, and are sending out a check for $100 today to cover last month's rent and this month's. (Which we hadn't paid yet, because difficult child was to meet us and go there to get her things ~ which never happened, somehow.)
I talked to both owners of the storage unit yesterday. They are decent people. I don't want to stiff them with the storage unit fees or the mess of cleaning the stupid thing out.
The first time I saw difficult child after we got back (on Facebook ~ did you know you can do free video calls on FB?) she had a black, black eye and a closed head injury. That was shocking. So, in addition to the lacerated liver thing (which must be resolved now) she's been hit so hard that her brain was swelling. That was all part of this, too. That whole idea that difficult child will be (the D word).
husband refused to go to the NAMI meeting. I didn't go, either.
Talk about a case of the blind leading the blind.
But in one light, it all seems so reasonable, so hopeful.
Barbara