What done means/meant to you?

[DDD]

After years and years of dealing with various "issues" and doing endless research and networking, yesterday I saw something in the Early Child
forum entitled Receptive Language Disorder (I think). For all the experts
I have recounted how difficult child just doesn't seem to "get it" when we have a conversation although he can be exceptionally quick-witted at times. He
misinterprets what is said and with his misinterpretation he often feels that he is being "put down" or a subject was brough up indirectly to affect him. He gets angry at what he perceives was said or intended

Light bulb moment! There is an actual "name" for that. Alot of difficult children anger comes from misunderstanding or not grasping the conversation or the situation. Could that be a factor for Dude, too? DDD

 

[Abbey]

Done for me was when I realized he was ruining the rest of my family. I had to send my other 3 children away and my marriage was nearly broke.

Doesn't mean I don't care for him, but the damage was too much.

Abbey

 

[totoro]

I know my little girl is so much younger, but being someone who was kicked out at 13 and then left at 17... I certainly know the feeling of being a child who has parents who feel "done"...
I am trying very hard to set up and protect K so I hopefully will never be done... but who knows,
I am reading the Book, "Crazy" by: Peter Early, and I just finished it, but one section that I marked and went back to, which touches on this... says When Peter is talking to a man who runs an ALF...


*He is asking the director how many chances a man gets to come back after he has murdered someone? The man replies that if he meets the criteria, why wouldn't they take him back?
Peter asks but he has had 2 chances already, and sure it was because of his medications not working but why risk it?

The director asks, "How many chances would you want us to give your son?"

He then opens up a drawer and pulls out a sheet of paper with a diagram... with a chart. "All of us are alone" it says.
He says "As each of us are confronted with our own complexity, then we are simultaneously confronted with the reality of our aloneness and isolation, to avoid being alone, human beings seek out relationships with others, either individually-as friends and lovers-or in families or by joining gangs, neighborhoods, clubs, or religious groups. The question then becomes, Where does the chronic mentally ill adult felony offender fit? Nowhere..."

No group will accept him or her willingly into membership. They are the most isolated. The director goes on to say that at his ALF that they never run out of Chances...


I think this can be said for a lot of our G'sFG as well. Mentally Ill or not.

I am not saying this is an option for all of us, nor should it be, when your child is making a choice... or when you can't do it anymore.
But this man's words really had an impact on me...
He also made a point of the fact that the clients had to want it also... they had to try.
But he would not give up.

 

[Star*]

MUST HAVE DONKEY!!!!!!

Thanks everyone - I looked up Receptive Language Disorder and will do a little more research on that - He has been the suspect of being an Aspie a time or two...interesting.

Toto - that book sounds great. and your avatar is assome

get it? (snort)

today is better - thanks all.....

 

[Suz]

Star, how many of these symptoms does Dude have? You don't have to be adopted to have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Trauma and abuse certainly contributes to attachment disorders and he sounds so much like Rob was a this age...

http://members.tripod.com/~radclass/slide13.html

Suz

 

[Star*]

Suz,

He has 11 things - does that mean anything?

He also has a HUGE fear of abandonment. I mean HUGE - angry huge. I thought we had moved past that - but maybe it's still there.

Any thoughts?

 

[Suz]

Star, I'm not sure if 11 out of 18 is significant or not, but it's worth mentioning if he sees a psychiatrist again. You might want to pull up that slide again...on the left side are arrows. Click back to the beginning of the presentation and read all the way through (it goes past slide #13 which is the one I posted) and see what you think.

I have several links on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) if you think it might be worth checking into further. Just give me a head's up.

Suz