When do you call the police?

My son seems to think we abuse him and has threatened to call 911 several times. In fact, he has done this 3 times and hung up. The last call went to the sheriff's office.

Problem is, it is all lies. We have not hit him (though I did push him off of me once with my leg when he was hurting me), I have slapped his mouth a few times (not hard, and don't do this anymore), and held him on the ground when raging.

So if he decides to tell the police that we abuse him, where do we stand? He can act very "normal" when necessary, and acting is his forte. I guess we'd have to have all the diagnostic tests (ODD esp) out for the police to see? Or would I call the police now and see how a call would be handled?

I hear too many stories to not be somewhat cautious.
SassyGirl

 

We haven't had to deal with this personally and hope not to, but I'm a contingency planner also. Much rather have a plan that never needs to be used, than to have to make these type decisions in the heat of the moment.

There are counties in Texas that are forming special units with officers trained in mental health issues. They are working in conjunction with the Mental Health Mental Retardation office that handles a 3-county area. Their goal is to diffuse a situation and immediately transport children and adults to mental health care facilities rather than to jail. It's my understanding the program has met with great success.

Our county is in the process of trying to get a similar problem on-line. It's not available to date, but at least law enforcement is beginning to recognize the problems and starting to formulate task forces to deal with them more effectively.

The officer that addressed the seminar I attended advised that a regular officer is taught to "take control" of a situation by whatever means necessary. As we all know, a show of "authority" is not necessarily the best way to approach some of our kids -- just adds fuel to a blazing fire.

I was very excited to learn about this program's existance and expansion. Might want to touch base with your city and/or country law enforcement agencies and see if there are similar task forces in your area.

 

[katinnwfl55]

Hi,
My comments on bad experiences with the police applies all over the world. The http://www.cpswatch.com claim that at least
70% of cases where children were removed from there parents were unjustified. With some terrible incidents of child abuse and the notion that children are the weaker party in the parent- child dynamic and therefore need protection, the assumption is that the kid's behaviour is due to child abuse. A lot of the focus on dealing with children's violence is adressing the weak position of the parent against the violent child for eg getting the support of family, friends, social workers etc for the parents . Their declaration that they support the efforts of the parents not to tolerate violence and to deal with it in a non-violent way undermines the confidence and power of the violent child. A bad experience really undermines the parents authority in the eyes of the child.
A good tip I read on CPSwatch.com - we generally tell kids not to talk to strangers,
it should go further tell your kids never to tell anybody except you , even people they know, about what happens in your home. Kids being interviewed by the cps or police can be manipulated and their statements out of context can mean something a lot different
In the present atmosphere of childrens rights as opposed to their duties I just don't have confidence in the cps or police.
As I said experiences of those on the board have been mixed
Yours Allan

 

[sheri.m]

I have found everyone's replies to be very informative.

It is interesting to see the varying points of view on bringing the police in. It has got me thinking that it is probably a good idea to contact the local police pre-emptively - to ask about how such matters are handled. We also have what are called Health Visitors here in the UK. They make house calls and will perform basic health evaluations and check on the children's well-being. It probably wouldn't hurt to contact them as well. Having our story on the record before anything ontowards happens might be a good idea. I do view police escalation as a last resort though.

We will continue to de-escalate situations to the best of our abilities and will try to teach difficult child his own coping methods. With a little bit of luck, we may be able to avoid calls to the police. I pray that it never gets to that point. But, as much as I adore visiting Denial - it is such a LOVELY place - I don't live there. I live in Reality. And in Reality, things like this can and do happen. Best to plan for the worst and hope for the best!

Thank you all for your considered responses.