When is it time to give up?

[witzend]

I know this is difficult for you. From the outside looking in, it seems like you are the only one involved in this part of this relationship. Life is a marathon, not a relay or sprint. I have a nearly non-existent relationship with my parents. I have my reasons and they have theirs. Last month for the first time in 9 years I sent a note to my mother about something I thought she would be interested in. My mother is 79 years old. We've spoken civilly twice in the last 9 years. We've spoken other than that maybe 5 times.

What I can say about my situation is that I am happier without them. They didn't like me and there was nothing I can do to change that. Or at the very least, I wasn't ever going to be the person they thought I should be. I can also tell you that I have nightmares about spinning my wheels with something I think "should" or "could" be. I can't change them. I don't want to be changed. I can't tell you when to give up. I can tell you that no matter what you do you won't get the immediate results you are looking for. Maybe you aren't supposed to give up. Maybe you're just supposed to realize that it will take longer. He's not a little boy whose personality is being molded on a daily basis. He's a grown man who has to come to these things through self-realization. Just as we as parents have to come to the self-realization that my kids make their own decisions and I don't have a lot of influence over them any more.

 

[BusynMember]

Obviously, son has a problem with us, but he won't talk about it. I know it's not that he thinks we don't like him. He acknowledges that he felt loved. I really don't get it.
I didn't speak to my mom for ten years. She really DID hate me. She didn't WANT to hear from me. I called her and called her and sent her nice cards and apologized (although, again, I wasn't 100% sure why she was so angry at me), but it didn't work so I did give up. But NOTHING like that happened between me and Scott.
I'm going to give this one to God, and move on. I have to count my many blessings and bury this disappointment. At least I think he's happy and I know he's prosperous so I'll never have to worry about his well being...
I will end on a positive note: On Monday I get to find out the sex of my grandbaby. I can't wait to be able to go on a shopping spree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This upcoming baby has the entire family in an uproar and I'm sooooooooooo excited! My daughter-in-law will be such a great mother.
Thanks, all of you.

 

[LAA]

Good Morning MWM,

You had helped us out so much with my post about our adopted son and the recent problems that elevated around the finalization date and I thank-you for your wisdom.

I want to let you know that giving your son back to God is what we did last evening. We went to visit him at the mental facility he is at (going on three weeks) and said goodbye.

This was after much prayer and in prayer giving him back about a week ago.

We have been working with our pastor and our older daughter is in counseling but handling this extremely well. We are at peace with this decision and have peace at home.

I believe you did the right thing - you have so many positive, happy events happening in your life.

God is good and He is always working behind the scenes!