Why doesn't he wipe his butt?????

[TerryJ2]

Goodness, how interesting to live in a culture where you don't use TP! It's certainly saving on resources.
Hmm.
Anyway, yes, there are ways to train yourself. I don't know that an 11-yr-old would be controlled enough, but it's something to shoot for in the future.
I have a few friends who do that, in regard to timing ... if they work in the court system, or schools. I'm always amazed.

 

[JKF]

DDD - very interesting! I never thought of it from those perspectives! I will have to ask him about the timing. I'm curious. And as for the showering, he does shower every night at 7 pm right before bed, but I would still prefer him to wipe his rear end after BM's. It seems so gross not to! Not only does he smell, but he must be uncomfortable right??? It really can't be healthy not to wipe! lol

 

[InsaneCdn]

Another option <sorta tongue-in-cheek> is to install a bidet.

 

[HaoZi]

We use wipes, always have. She's just now starting to wipe herself instead of calling me in to do it every time. She's not consistent but she's always clean. I'm giving serious consideration to installing a bidet in the toilet, though.

 

[Marguerite]

You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him splash...

But a bidet can be worth considering. At least worth perhaps talking about how different people around the world handle (sorry) this problem differently. The time control thing, bidets, wiping/not wiping but showering immediately... the target is the same.

I have a book written by a well-known Aussie herbalist in which she insists that the only healthy option is 3 BMs a day, one after each meal. Because if we eat, our bodies have to excrete similarly. It's an interesting point but medically we excrete a lot less than we ingest, simply because the aim of eating is to provide fuel for your body and what is left to excrete should be somewhat less in volume. However, one would expect a herbalist to be eating a healthy, high-fibre diet and so perhaps in her case the "after every meal" routine was her normal. Whatever is your routine is normal. I remember being concerned when I was on my extreme weight reduction diet (under medical supervision) and found I had a major change in my routine, purely because I was eating so little (even though it was high-fibre) that I simply had too little to excrete. When you're eating as if you've already had gastric bypass, what is left after your body takes its nourishment leaves very little to get rid of.

Increasing fibre content of his diet will do several things - it will increase GI tract motility (which increases its muscle tone - a good thing) and also increase quantity and frequency. Again a good thing because each time he gets to practice how to clean up. Also the higher fibre content means what he passes will be easier to clean up. In a lot of cases where fibre has been increased, the need to wipe can be greatly reduced (but of course it's always wise to make sure). At the risk of seeming gross, extra fibre changes the texture from heavy sticky clay to good quality commercial play-doh.

Sometimes the poo problem is dealt with (either by the individual or the family member supervising) by trying to reduce the need to deal with it too often. But this can make it a lot more difficult to manage.

Marg

 

[buddy]

I had to check in here again and see if anyone had any interesting ideas on this... I just have to say I LOVE YOU GUYS. We really can discuss anything here, can't we!

So, along the bidet ideas..... I have friends from the middle east who have lived her for maybe 7 years now. Dad is a dr. He is very large. We don't have them unless it is a custom install in a home or something. So, they have hooked up a water squirter like on the kitchen sink... to the water line and then put a hook on the wall so it can be grabbed and used any time.

I thought that was a great idea!

For the wipes... I would never worry about drying off after using those. We dont do that with babies. They are not that wet anyway... the area dries off quickly.

 

[JKF]

I had to check in here again and see if anyone had any interesting ideas on this... I just have to say I LOVE YOU GUYS. We really can discuss anything here, can't we!

So, along the bidet ideas..... I have friends from the middle east who have lived her for maybe 7 years now. Dad is a dr. He is very large. We don't have them unless it is a custom install in a home or something. So, they have hooked up a water squirter like on the kitchen sink... to the water line and then put a hook on the wall so it can be grabbed and used any time.

I thought that was a great idea!

For the wipes... I would never worry about drying off after using those. We dont do that with babies. They are not that wet anyway... the area dries off quickly.

I feel the same way buddy! Absolutely love you guys and the fact that we can discuss alllll kinds of topics including this lovely one! lol I bought some wet wipes and he seems to like that idea. I think it's easier for him to wipe that way. Who knows but it seems to be working. I had to sit close to him to help with homework last night and he didn't smell at all! I even breathed through my nose instead of my mouth like I usually do! hahaha And I know for a fact he had a BM after school. Woooo hoooo!

 

[buddy]

That's great news.... I know when I was a kid I was really picky about TP. I only liked the thick and soft kind (my how times change, now I use the inexpensive one ply kind because it is the length of the pull for Q not how thick it is so I try to conserve that way, sigh)

I wonder if the wet wipes really are more soothing? In any event, he doesn't want you in there and all up in his business so he is doing it. What a relief to be able to breathe normally, LOL.

Speaking of TP.... I am not really sure how this happens but I find strands of it all over... I really think he likes to just pull it ..... eventually it rips and then he drops it... it is all clean stuff, nothing gross, but I frequently find lengths of it all over the place. I used to have a cat that did that to me. He does use tp for tissue for his nose so maybe it is that but... I asked and he just gets mad.

 

[Ms H]

I'm relieved to know that other parents are going through this. I thought I was the only one. This is a great suggestion. I hope this works. Thank you so much. Hygiene is so important. It taken me so long to get my child potty trained I hate the fact that he is no longer wiping. It just destroys all the progress we made. My child hates to use wipes- even the sensitive ones so that is not an option,( prefers toilet paper on occasion ) I feel devastated that there is a regression now by forgetting/not wiping properly.

 

[Ms H]

what do you do if a child does not wipe properly and refuses to use wipes? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[Faith4]

I just found out (although I have suspected for a while now ) that my 11 year old son doesn't wipe his butt after going #2! It's disgusting and it enrages me just to think about it! We just had the best day today...no yelling, I gave him extra TV time, snacks that I don't usually allow, etc and then he went to go to the bathroom. I said "did you wipe" after he came downstairs and he was like..."oh I forgot!' What???? How do you forget to wipe your butt????

I'm to the point of tears. I give up. On top of everything else now this! Has anyone else ever experienced this with an ADHD child? Or any child? If anyone has any advice on what to do please help!

Yes my boyfriend’s son is 11 years old and doesn’t wipe. He also doesn’t flush the toilet and it’s extremely frustrating. He also has adhd. He can’t make his own breakfast and the simple basic stuff.

 

[Crayola13]

Laziness most likely, or if he’s allergic to toilet tissue there are other options.

 

[Simion]

ADHD could easily be at the root of this issues. Many children with mental health issues have these very same issues & for a variety of reasons, attention span, sensory issues, cognitive functioning deficits. As well children who have been sexually abused have much difficulty in this area of hygiene. Laziness is not the answer & to receive such a response is invalidating & trivializes a problem that many children, teens & young adults with mental health issues struggle with.
Certainly it’s frustrating, what isn’t when it comes to having a child with mental health issues. Could it be that your son like you was feeling the excitement of having “ the best day “& due to his ADHD was over stimulated leading to lack of focus & the completion of a task that is second nature to someone who does not have this mh issue.
I speak from lived personal experience of ADD & have raised 3 children with ADHD. If I as an adult can’t remember what I went in to another room for, does that make me lazy. This is an 11 year old child.
I’ve been at wits end many times before, to the point of tears at least a thousand times. When the situation gets to that point I need a time out. A minute to breath, to begin to think logically again, to consider my child/children's struggle & regroup. My children didn’t stand in line & sign up for this, they deserve the best of me. They deserve love & compassion & yes that’s in short supply when your cleaning up or washing bloody garments & sheets. Dam the day I ever look at my child/ children with such dishonor as to label them lazy.
That is an old post you replied to. I hope others with this shared experience will acknowledge your experience & pain with compassion & share what they have done.

 

[Simion]

My bad for reading Faith4’s post & JKF’s as one. ADD at its finest. None the less I stand behind what I shared & the censor. Was not sure poop would be a censored word. My apologies.