WOW, me again.

[Steely]

Oh hugs!!!

You and Tink sound like Matt and me when he was that age. If only I had this board back then!
I did not know how to implement the word disengage, or realize how enmeshed we were - but I felt every second of it. And feeling responsible for the sperm donors load and the pain they inflict on our children!!?? Man! That was me, always trying to fix everything. Still is in so many regards. Although I know more now, I still feel it pulling at my heart strings.

Start now, daily, taking the advice others have given you and implementing it. If you can be consistent, you will change her life. And NO guilt. None! You cannot fix sperm donors rejection - you can only stand in the gap and be the healthy mom she needs.

Hang in there.

 

[Star*]

TODAY I GOT US AN ISLAND.

I traded my invisible jet and golden lasso for it. So we'll have to take the yacht to get there.

I'm leaving at 0600. Bring a bathing suit - and a frown. I'll see that it's turned into a smile.

 

[susiestar]

STAR - These are supposed to be in ode-cay. Otherwise the kids will ind-fay us-bay.

inging-bray ine-way ocolate-chay ake-cay.

ugg-hay!

usie-say ar-stay

 

[1905]

BBK:

Here is an idea you may want to try. Write out a schedule every day. Put down every little thing she will do and the time, even put things on it like,"eat breakfast" 8:00-8:20. This way you can plan your time together, and she can see that she will have to *wait* until whatever time she needs to wait until to play with you. Of you will put lot's of together time on it, but space them out so each of you can have some alone time. Also, she can go by that schedule when you take her to the pool from let's say from 4:00- 5:00, you can remind her at ten of 5 that she has ten minutes left.

I work with autistic kids and they all go by their own schedules, but ours are pictures, here is an example of one:

beakfast
music and movement
art class
writing
matching
storytime
speech
lunch
free play
calender,.etc (this is only until 12:30)..although ours are all pictures, you can just write it all out with the times on it. She may be less anxious if she can see that in the near future she can do this or whatever -she will get what she wants, but not yet, soon. Allso maybe you can get her a calender so she can see for herself when she's going somewhere, instead of just wondering and hoping and becoming frustrated. I hope this helps-Alyssa

 

[amazeofgrace]

oh difficult child's come with quite the tongue don't they ???

So sorry sweetie <<<HUGS>>>

 

[house of cards]

Does Tink have any imagination? My L doesn't. She CAN'T play house or really anything needing imagination without someone else setting the scene. She can color, read(not very well) and do things...like style a dolls hair but it limits her ability to play and the toys I buy for her quite a bit. I am fortunate that I have enough kids (including her twin with a excellent imagination) that they keep her occuppied most of the time but she is lost without them. I don't think you can train someone to have an imagination but you can try to have more concrete things for her to do. I'm sure it is exhausting for you and a bad habit on her part to expect so much from you, I'm glad you are getting a break even though you will pay for it later, but for you to really see progress I think you need to have some very concrete things for her to do.