EvanBaxter, we are all good at playing. But not your kind of games, apparently. Grow up or get out. We have enough difficult children in our lives with our kids, to have to put up with another one here.
MWM, to get back on track - you want calming thoughts but say that humour is acceptable. How about "Lord I pray for patience and I want it right now!"
Or there's the alternative serenity prayer -
"God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference."
And here are a couple of other useful thoughts to give you a different focus (censored, of course - this site is sensitive about such things).
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they cheesed me off.
Stress: That conflict which arises when the brain overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some idiot who desperately needs it.
Marg