username40
New Member
I'm just kind of looking for a place to tell my story and get some support. My son is 16 years old, he has always been difficult, we made a lot of excuses for him when teachers would report on his behavior, or if he vandalized we paid his way out and said "kids will be kids". There were warning signs, that we ignored, not really consciously, but we did.
Fast forward to Freshman year in High School, that summer he basically never left his room, his group of friends was gone. My wife refused to admit there was something wrong. Every interaction with him became him snapping, yelling, nasty, and downright awful to be around. If we ignored him and let him do what he wanted there was intermittent peace between stealing the car, suicide threats, drugs, catching girls in my home at 4:00 AM, property damage, verbal and emotional abuse to his mother and I.
It got to the point where he refused to obey a curfew, refused to go to school, refused to stop steeling beer and wine, refused to stop smoking in his room and said " you, what are you going to do about it". Now I can't hit him (Lord knows I've been tempted and so close) because then my life is ruined. So I went to family court and filed PINS on him. Once PINS started the behavior got 10 times worse. Part of the deal was he had to see a mental health professional. He as put on an anti-psychotic medication which he refuses to take. He ended up stealing my car and running away to California with a girl. I flew to California and got him, we had a long talk, I felt like I broke through. Came home and same mean S.O.B who left. So I went to court and had a warrant out for his arrest. He turned himself in and got 30 days with an ankle bracelet. He's since been suspended for the entire school year for drug use on campus.
And now, he is actively baiting me into a physical fight. He wants to get me arrested to pay me back for putting him on PINS. I'm obviously not taking the bait, but the household is so toxic. I have 2 little ones 11 and 5 who are so great, they're feeling the stress of the insanity he's bringing into the house. I told my wife that I could get an apartment and he moves in with me until he's 18. This way the kids can have a calm and peaceful house. Or since she doesn't want him to go to a group home, she stay with him and I take the other 2 kids away from the craziness.
We just don't know what to do at this point. Nothing seems to improve the situation, he gets angrier, meaner, and does even more impulsive and crazy stuff. He refuses medication, refuses to really participate in therapy. He see nothing wrong with his behavior, says his mother and I are the problem, he just does what all teens do and we're being way too hard on him.
Fast forward to Freshman year in High School, that summer he basically never left his room, his group of friends was gone. My wife refused to admit there was something wrong. Every interaction with him became him snapping, yelling, nasty, and downright awful to be around. If we ignored him and let him do what he wanted there was intermittent peace between stealing the car, suicide threats, drugs, catching girls in my home at 4:00 AM, property damage, verbal and emotional abuse to his mother and I.
It got to the point where he refused to obey a curfew, refused to go to school, refused to stop steeling beer and wine, refused to stop smoking in his room and said " you, what are you going to do about it". Now I can't hit him (Lord knows I've been tempted and so close) because then my life is ruined. So I went to family court and filed PINS on him. Once PINS started the behavior got 10 times worse. Part of the deal was he had to see a mental health professional. He as put on an anti-psychotic medication which he refuses to take. He ended up stealing my car and running away to California with a girl. I flew to California and got him, we had a long talk, I felt like I broke through. Came home and same mean S.O.B who left. So I went to court and had a warrant out for his arrest. He turned himself in and got 30 days with an ankle bracelet. He's since been suspended for the entire school year for drug use on campus.
And now, he is actively baiting me into a physical fight. He wants to get me arrested to pay me back for putting him on PINS. I'm obviously not taking the bait, but the household is so toxic. I have 2 little ones 11 and 5 who are so great, they're feeling the stress of the insanity he's bringing into the house. I told my wife that I could get an apartment and he moves in with me until he's 18. This way the kids can have a calm and peaceful house. Or since she doesn't want him to go to a group home, she stay with him and I take the other 2 kids away from the craziness.
We just don't know what to do at this point. Nothing seems to improve the situation, he gets angrier, meaner, and does even more impulsive and crazy stuff. He refuses medication, refuses to really participate in therapy. He see nothing wrong with his behavior, says his mother and I are the problem, he just does what all teens do and we're being way too hard on him.