How are you and Son doing, Defiant? If you can spare a minute, let us know. I am wondering what path you and he decided upon. He seems to have so many gifts.
It is 4 months and one week since my son showed up at my door. I had lost track of the time until I looked back at this thread. He was gone from my home (except for a day or two at a time) for over 4 years.
We have since bought a fixer upper house for him to live in, and he is helping my significant other remodel it. He is back and forth to my house.
He is clearly changing for the better but the relationship is still difficult and challenging for me. While having him close satisfies something deep inside of me, I am challenged to the core by some of his behaviors and choices. When this happens, I do not do well.
I do hope you check in and I do hope you and your family are doing well.
Hi Copa,
So nice to hear from you. Thank you for reaching out. I'm sorry I took a few days to reply.
I'm glad to hear that your son is doing better. The fixer upper house sounds like a wonderful opportunity for him. So sorry that at times you are suffering because of his behaviors. I wish there was some sort of easy answer. Have you ever read the book Far From the Tree? I have read parts of it and it has helped me at times when I struggle with Difficult Child. I guess all we can do is live each day one at a time. Is your son still doing drugs? Is he working? How does he spend his days?
My Difficult Child is doing much better, thank goodness. He is turning 18 in a few weeks and he knows that we are throwing him out if he doesn't follow our rules. We try not to be too rigid with the rules. But there are basic rules he must follow. He does all of his own laundry now. We are trying out best not to enable him in any way.
He found a lovely girlfriend who is a year younger than him and she's making such a positive impact on his life. Finally, he cares deeply about another person and he doesn't want to hurt her or disappoint her.
Difficult Child was able to get his job back at the restaurant from which he was fired last March. It was almost one year to the day that he returned from having been fired. We pray every day that he stays out of trouble and doesn't lose his job.
He was sentenced last week and started his one year probation today. He isn't doing drugs, nor is his girlfriend. They seem to be really looking out for each other.
Difficult Child is taking his High School Equivalency Test at the end of this month. He really isn't studying much, but the fact that he registered to take it is a huge step. If he fails a section he can alway retake it. The way he usually learns is the hard way, so I'm not at all surprised he isn't studying. He'll find out through experience what he needs to study and he'll only study for that. He's hoping to begin culinary school in the fall. I really hope it works out for him.
Please let me know how you are doing.
xo DefiantChild
