LoonyAlana
Member
I am new, and trying to figure out who to survive raising my youngest son.
He's been diagnosed with severe ADHD at around 3 years old, but there is something else in addition to that in play. We've tried Play Therapy for 6 months with NO effect- it did not help AT ALL except to show doctors and psychologists that I try to use appropriate language and try different techniques that they recommend ("that's not your area", "if you choose to _____, then you choose not to _____")... basically, I've reached the end of my proverbial rope. He's flunking kindergarten, refuses to learn to read and/or write but is nearly a prodigy in regard to content comprehension (if someone tells him a story.) He throws violent tantrums on an almost daily basis, in a variety of locations, and they are always spurred by limits ("No"). He also has a tendency to run away and has had to be 'run down' by teachers and school staff to keep him from running off out of the building and/or off campus. We started taking him to a psychologist thinking maybe it was Asperger's, or Bipolar, or ODD... something. We knew something else (beyond ADHD) was wrong. She began testing him for anything and everything she could test him for. I was at our second session of testing, yesterday, that my son threw an EPIC tantrum. Like a pulling my hair, throwing toys at me, destroying the psychologist's office, and telling me he "hates me" tantrum. The psychologist just sat and watched me as I tried, in futility, to diffuse the situation. The 'up side', she said it's not my fault, that it's not just me being a piss poor parent. The bad side- she recommends hospitalization at a mental health facility. For a 5 year old. She even said that if he has another episode like he did before, and I am at home, to call 911 and request for a mental health officer. She said there is a disconnect (in my son) and that lends itself toward psychopathic tendencies (he takes apparent joy in causing me pain.) He plotted, in between acts of destruction, to determine what his best next method to use would be. He has no regard to punishment, says he "likes" being spanked, refuses to stay in 'time out', doesn't care if anyone else is mad or sad or angry... he only wants what he wants, and to hell with anyone else. The only way he'll do anything remotely similar to a 'time out' is when I psychically restrain him and force him to stop and rest for a minute- but even that is a battle. It's like he knows what is right and wrong, but just does not give a crap. But for every example I have of him being mean and aggressive, I also have all these moments of him being sweet and nice, and hugs and love. It makes it so hard.
I've reached the point where I would be willing to admit him on the hope that we might finally find out exactly what is wrong, and work towards making it better. However, my husband does not agree. He doesn't see how hospitalization would EVER be a viable option for a 5 year old (for mental health issues.) All those times that he is sweet make it difficult for people to accept how 'bad' he can be. Even his daycare (prior to school) would say how there were days he would be a little angel, and if they didn't know better, they'd never believe he could be as vicious and destructive as he is on a 'bad day'.
Sorry to go on and on... I've been reading through a few threads, and there are so many stories of children that people are looking for assistance. I just didn't find any off the bat that seemed geared toward a much younger child. I love him, I really do, but I'm almost scared of my 5 year old. I really am worried I have a little psychopath on my hands, and am at a loss as to what to do or try next.
He's been diagnosed with severe ADHD at around 3 years old, but there is something else in addition to that in play. We've tried Play Therapy for 6 months with NO effect- it did not help AT ALL except to show doctors and psychologists that I try to use appropriate language and try different techniques that they recommend ("that's not your area", "if you choose to _____, then you choose not to _____")... basically, I've reached the end of my proverbial rope. He's flunking kindergarten, refuses to learn to read and/or write but is nearly a prodigy in regard to content comprehension (if someone tells him a story.) He throws violent tantrums on an almost daily basis, in a variety of locations, and they are always spurred by limits ("No"). He also has a tendency to run away and has had to be 'run down' by teachers and school staff to keep him from running off out of the building and/or off campus. We started taking him to a psychologist thinking maybe it was Asperger's, or Bipolar, or ODD... something. We knew something else (beyond ADHD) was wrong. She began testing him for anything and everything she could test him for. I was at our second session of testing, yesterday, that my son threw an EPIC tantrum. Like a pulling my hair, throwing toys at me, destroying the psychologist's office, and telling me he "hates me" tantrum. The psychologist just sat and watched me as I tried, in futility, to diffuse the situation. The 'up side', she said it's not my fault, that it's not just me being a piss poor parent. The bad side- she recommends hospitalization at a mental health facility. For a 5 year old. She even said that if he has another episode like he did before, and I am at home, to call 911 and request for a mental health officer. She said there is a disconnect (in my son) and that lends itself toward psychopathic tendencies (he takes apparent joy in causing me pain.) He plotted, in between acts of destruction, to determine what his best next method to use would be. He has no regard to punishment, says he "likes" being spanked, refuses to stay in 'time out', doesn't care if anyone else is mad or sad or angry... he only wants what he wants, and to hell with anyone else. The only way he'll do anything remotely similar to a 'time out' is when I psychically restrain him and force him to stop and rest for a minute- but even that is a battle. It's like he knows what is right and wrong, but just does not give a crap. But for every example I have of him being mean and aggressive, I also have all these moments of him being sweet and nice, and hugs and love. It makes it so hard.
I've reached the point where I would be willing to admit him on the hope that we might finally find out exactly what is wrong, and work towards making it better. However, my husband does not agree. He doesn't see how hospitalization would EVER be a viable option for a 5 year old (for mental health issues.) All those times that he is sweet make it difficult for people to accept how 'bad' he can be. Even his daycare (prior to school) would say how there were days he would be a little angel, and if they didn't know better, they'd never believe he could be as vicious and destructive as he is on a 'bad day'.
Sorry to go on and on... I've been reading through a few threads, and there are so many stories of children that people are looking for assistance. I just didn't find any off the bat that seemed geared toward a much younger child. I love him, I really do, but I'm almost scared of my 5 year old. I really am worried I have a little psychopath on my hands, and am at a loss as to what to do or try next.