Daisylover, You are too kind! Thank you so much for posting. In reality I sound stronger typing on this keyboard than I really am. But, hey.. we all have our moments.. and I do try really hard.
Barbara,
Wow.. you have done your homework. I do understand what you are saying. I went through reading everything I could get my hands on when my difficult child was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and then Anti-Social PD with tendencies toward Boarderline. The first thing I learned was that the majority of Cocaine addicts are ADD/ADHD. And it is because the drug makes them feel normal. So, I went the route of trying to get my daughter of the wise old age of 16 to take ADD medications instead of other drugs, they are much safer and legal. No go though. She was having none of it. Only the illegal stuff for her.
Her brain is a mess. Her disorders keep her from thinking through processes properly and only the right medications will help her. So at this point it seems she is doomed, but you never know. I have stopped trying to tell her and now I am just loving her with the choices she is making. I know that she is doing the only thing she wants to at this point. If she decides her life is bad enough or unhappy enough then maybe she will want to figure out another way to do things. I would love to know how to be the parent of a drug addict.. oh wait I do know how.. I am the parent of one. Now how to be one properly????? hmm.. I could use a lot of help on that one.
The big problem I have and I think a lot of parents have that each of these kids are different. There is no panacea. My daughter has a disorder that makes her drug use different from someone without that disorder. And someone else's drug use who has that same disorder may react completely different than my daughter has. Throw in abuse, or family problems and you have a whole other set of issues for that drug user.
Certainly, I would love to know how to respond to my difficult child. I am totally blindsided sometimes by what she says to me. But, I am also learning to just say "oh honey, I dont really understand, but if you want to talk about it go ahead and I will try.... listen, listen, listen (jaw on ground)... well, I love you and hope you figure it out or that things get better" or "Oh honey, I understand, I love you and I hope you figure it out". Done.
Those may not be the correct responses but they are better than I used to give (let me tell you..whew). I would love to read the thread you mentioned. Can you tell me what I would put in for a search? Maybe the title of the thread would get me there.
I will look up that book but I may have read it.. read so many...
Rhonda
