A letter to my son in jail

[Just so tired]

Natsom, I agree with others that your letter is good but only for yourself. It doesn't matter how rational we think we are, our sons just don't see it that way. Best to keep this letter for yourself. You make the rules on how many times you will except his calls etc. If they get out of hand in any way you simply hangup. Remember this is your "dime" that is paying for the calls. My son is not a kid (45 yr old) and obviously I have no control at all. But I do have control over myself. Believe me it has taken years to put into play some of my own advise. Who I feel bad for are others who are still manipulated by him. And that tells me he has not and will not change. Please do not be too hard on your self. I'm sure you did the best you could raising your son> him saying you are inconsistant is just a way to control you with more guilt. Don't buy in. Hang in there. This is a very hard road to travel as parents

 

[Just so tired]

Good luck on your visit. You will be glad you did. And I agree you may cry all the way home but that's perfectly ok. I still have not gone to see my son who has been in jail for about 40 days (this time) but I am working up to it. Reading everyone's comments has really helped me too.

 

[InsaneCdn]

him saying you are inconsistant is just a way to control you with more guilt

Either that, or you have a son who is NOT neurotypical, and for whom "consistency" is absolute, and absolutely necessary. In which case, it still isn't YOUR fault, because there's no way you could have known, nor any way to behave with that kind of consistency as you are, after all, human.

 

[New Leaf]

Hello, Just wanted to say that you folks are working through an old thread from August, so you might not get responses from the initial participants.

Believe me it has taken years to put into play some of my own advise. Who I feel bad for are others who are still manipulated by him.

This is so, for a lot of us JST.
We do not see the ploys, until we are able to piece together the puzzle of them.

JST, if you want, you can start your own thread in PE, you may find more responses. Also, if you add info to your signature, it helps to give a picture for others of your background, and understanding of your situation. Just go to your profile page and click the info tab.

Welcome to CD!
leafy