EarthIsHard
Member
Darkwing, It's been two years since posting on this thread. I certainly hope you are doing well. Your posts here helped me understand an addict's side of addiction. Thank you so much.
A View From The Other Side (Fairly Long)
- Thread starter DarkwingPsyduck
- Start date
In helping others, you help yourself so plz, keeping helping us!
My 4th and youngest son is 20, soon to be 21. He lives w me, a single mom since 1995. His dad ran from the probation office fleeing arrest when he was 4. He never got over his absence and when he did return, what a cluster F he caused in his sons life and mine. His father (not the dad of older 3 brothers) actually sacrificed his sons emotional well-being and used him repeatedly to get back at me for leaving him. After yrs of therapy (starting when his dad left) and residential homes promising he’d be home and healed in 3-6 months...flash ahead 4yrs and things were worse. No H.S diploma or HISET and unable to keep a job so far. Lots of pot and experimenting w drugs till he landed on his doctor (drug of choice) 2yrs ago; ACID AND METH. Last yr I had to serve him to get him out of house. Thru a long and miserable 6 months of living in a tent behind an IHOP restaurant, he landed back at my door completely out of his mind! I mean loco, insufferable, sad mess. psychiatric hospital released him long before he had come back to self and dropped him in my lap. I had to ask court to drop Order if Protection because he was still unable to comprehend reality and I couldn’t throw him back on the streets in that state. It was a horrible nightmare. I didn’t know if he’d ever get his mind back. But my God touched him and saved him from himself! Nine months later still clean (not from pot) yet struggles w emotional problems. He is in a drug/mental health court that keeps him w a therapist and drops regularly. Here’s the deal. He’s got a girlfriend who has to take adderall for a brain injury. He told me he’s taken some of hers and it’s helping him think better etc. The last few days I think I hear him snorting something and have smelled strange odor. He hid his using before very well even tho I was watching him closely! It wasn’t until he was arrested w it on him that I had proof! I don’t want to be nieve again here in my own home. I was thinking about getting a camera and finding out for sure. He said I was worrying about nothing and to STOP asking or thinking there was anything going on. I can’t live thru what I went thru w him last yr and if there’s any chance he’s turned back on to this CRAP, I will let the court know and they can do residential treatment! Am I controlling? Should I let him hang himself at the risk of losing his mind and poss never coming back? I know God has told me not to give up on him yet (I’m threatening to kick him out because he’s been disrespectful of me). I said it when angry and didn’t know what else to do. I believe he has some degree of Autism. I believe with time he will be able to mature and get on his own. I set some boundaries w him and told him if he wants to live here, he has to abide by them...be kind to me, pick up after self, no meth/acid etc. if not 30 day notice or court order to leave if necessary. He blames me for much of his problems even tho I’ve apologized for my alcohol use when he was growing up and having a few men over when drunk. He believes I abused him (his father filled his head w garbage of lies) and he seems unwilling to forgive me. Is there more I can do to help him get over my part of the past mistakes that he’s been told has caused PTSD, anxiety, etc? Thx for any input!
My 4th and youngest son is 20, soon to be 21. He lives w me, a single mom since 1995. His dad ran from the probation office fleeing arrest when he was 4. He never got over his absence and when he did return, what a cluster F he caused in his sons life and mine. His father (not the dad of older 3 brothers) actually sacrificed his sons emotional well-being and used him repeatedly to get back at me for leaving him. After yrs of therapy (starting when his dad left) and residential homes promising he’d be home and healed in 3-6 months...flash ahead 4yrs and things were worse. No H.S diploma or HISET and unable to keep a job so far. Lots of pot and experimenting w drugs till he landed on his doctor (drug of choice) 2yrs ago; ACID AND METH. Last yr I had to serve him to get him out of house. Thru a long and miserable 6 months of living in a tent behind an IHOP restaurant, he landed back at my door completely out of his mind! I mean loco, insufferable, sad mess. psychiatric hospital released him long before he had come back to self and dropped him in my lap. I had to ask court to drop Order if Protection because he was still unable to comprehend reality and I couldn’t throw him back on the streets in that state. It was a horrible nightmare. I didn’t know if he’d ever get his mind back. But my God touched him and saved him from himself! Nine months later still clean (not from pot) yet struggles w emotional problems. He is in a drug/mental health court that keeps him w a therapist and drops regularly. Here’s the deal. He’s got a girlfriend who has to take adderall for a brain injury. He told me he’s taken some of hers and it’s helping him think better etc. The last few days I think I hear him snorting something and have smelled strange odor. He hid his using before very well even tho I was watching him closely! It wasn’t until he was arrested w it on him that I had proof! I don’t want to be nieve again here in my own home. I was thinking about getting a camera and finding out for sure. He said I was worrying about nothing and to STOP asking or thinking there was anything going on. I can’t live thru what I went thru w him last yr and if there’s any chance he’s turned back on to this CRAP, I will let the court know and they can do residential treatment! Am I controlling? Should I let him hang himself at the risk of losing his mind and poss never coming back? I know God has told me not to give up on him yet (I’m threatening to kick him out because he’s been disrespectful of me). I said it when angry and didn’t know what else to do. I believe he has some degree of Autism. I believe with time he will be able to mature and get on his own. I set some boundaries w him and told him if he wants to live here, he has to abide by them...be kind to me, pick up after self, no meth/acid etc. if not 30 day notice or court order to leave if necessary. He blames me for much of his problems even tho I’ve apologized for my alcohol use when he was growing up and having a few men over when drunk. He believes I abused him (his father filled his head w garbage of lies) and he seems unwilling to forgive me. Is there more I can do to help him get over my part of the past mistakes that he’s been told has caused PTSD, anxiety, etc? Thx for any input!
EarthIsHard
Member
Flyme2themoon,
I'm sorry you are going through this again. Sounds familiar. I'm sure your'll get some input here and I invite you to read some responses that helped me... https://www.conductdisorders.com/co...-the-hardest-thing-i’ve-ever-had-to-do.65085/
I'm sorry you are going through this again. Sounds familiar. I'm sure your'll get some input here and I invite you to read some responses that helped me... https://www.conductdisorders.com/co...-the-hardest-thing-i’ve-ever-had-to-do.65085/
