Advice please

[Mamacat]

Yes. I have an appointment with psychologist on Tuesday and I've completed CODA steps. I'll go to meeting tomorrow night. It feels to me like grieving with maybe a little bit of denial thrown in, although it's hard to deny. It's just really hard to believe that one's own child could be so unloving, although she talks a good story about love wins, etc.

 

[Echolette]

My divorce attorney, who is really very relationship oriented and family friendly, used to tell me to stop negotiating against myself (offering things and compromises that no one had asked for yet). Somehow that struck home, and I realized that I do it with my kids as well, both Difficult Child and others. It is part and parcel of being an enabler.
She didn't ask.
Don't offer.
There is a weird world in which maybe she didn't even expect anything.
Either way it isn't time for you to give more support.
As Maximus says in the opening scenes of the Gladiator
"HOLD THE LINE!!!! STAY WITH ME!!"
We are all in this together.
Good luck.
Echo

 

[Mamacat]

Echo, I hear you. I sometimes think I know what you need before you've even thought about it. Need to be aware of this with everyone. As a teenager I worked in my uncle's cafe. There I filled coffee cups before anyone noticed it needed filling. But that's different. I don't need to do that now with my relationships. Beside I wanted that 25 cent tip. You can tell this was many years ago.