Advocate lost her cool.....

[pasajes4]

The long term benefits and disadvantages of any situation have to be sorted through. i do not know how every state operates. DARS is a federal program for persons with disabilities. They provide job training, independent living skills training, help in transitioning into ind. living, help with obtaining educational opp., as well as help in getting ssi. It is not dependent on whether a person is in the school system or not.

You are right in that his behaviors can and have occured in all different types of setting. What has not changed is how the district consistently tries to use his disability and the associated behaviors to try to exclude him from getting an education. This happens to lots of kiddos with challenging behaviors. You have the law on your side and you have had enough change of placements and verbal confirmation that this is exactly what has happened. When will the advocate say enough and go for a hearing with state board of education? When will all the backlash finally be to much for Q and for you? So much to consider.

 

[buddy]

You said it. I'd push harder for school options if he was an academic kind of kid but he's not so tons to sort through. No good answer as I see it. Every option s^cks.

 

[pasajes4]

I agree. There is no perfect solution. So then the question is which option s^cks the least and will provide less stress for the both of you. For us the change from going to a brick and morter institution..heavy emphasis on institution.... has dramatically decreased the outbursts associated with "school".

Schools operate on a round peg round hole philosphy. Those kiddos who are square pegs are left to flounder. Special Education. IEP's are "supposed" to be legally binding. We both know that in many districts it is only legally binding if the parent is willing to go to war. It then seems that the burden of proof is on the parent who is not physically there with their child to be sure it is or isn't.

 

[InsaneCdn]

If they can't provide a workable placement for him, then... (in my opinion) they need to fund whatever will work - even if that means building the kind of school that works for kids like Q. They will NOT go that far... we know that. But... What additional pieces can they provide that will take more of the load off you? They have quite a few years of support left to provide, and you don't need to be letting them off the hook.

You do NOT need to be dealing with Q, 24/7. Yes, even with Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) it is 24/7, because you are still on call.

 

[buddy]

I hear you IC, Of.course its not my first or even second choice if things could work out. But I can't count on that and I feel like I need to be better prepared for the bottom to drop out. I have to think too of how much calmer things are without the stress of meeting expectations that are beyond him.

 

[pasajes4]

When your child exhibits challenging behaviors at school, you are still on "call". Most schools will call the parent to come get the child or punish the child for doing things that they cannot control by suspending out of school or iss. I am still working with my attorney to address issues where the district has fallen through on. Not just for my kid but many kids. It does not have to be a "letting them off the hook" decision. My two cents worth

Buddy you are amazing and whatever decision you make will be in Q's best interest.

 

[DammitJanet]

Buddy, Cory was in no way anything like your son and I made a huge mistake in letting the school get away with forcing him out the door. They will do it in a heartbeat.

In your case Im not sure how you are going to stop them. I think in some way this has to go above district level and the "free and appropriate" part has to come into it. They cannot provide what he needs anywhere and that is just beyond obvious. They have stated it over and over again. I think for all concerned it would be in everyone's best interest...including the taxpayer's whom they seem so concerned about...to provide some sort of individualized program for Q. It would have to be a home bound education but not with you as a teacher. I am thinking more of something where they send out a special education teacher who is specifically trained in brain injuries. I think it would be a bit easier to bring them up to speed on autistic strategies rather than what part is due to brain injuries personally that is why I think someone who is trained in brain injuries would be better.

Then I think maybe he should go out to a place every day...be it an office or somewhere to do this home bound schooling so he has a schedule because he thrives on schedules. From there he can go with this teacher to his Occupational Therapist (OT), speech, horse stuff, dog stuff, whatever. The school system needs to provide this.

I dont give a darn what they have to do to make this happen. Maybe they have to use an old gymnasium at a school that is no longer being used or maybe he is using part of some building at the board of ed. I dont care where the home part is but he has to go somewhere. They need to make this happen. You have found tons of special needs Occupational Therapist (OT)'s, speech folks and all that other stuff that they can take him to as part of his school day.

Then there comes the time for looking at what his life is going to look like when he is an adult. You do need to start getting on that as soon as you can. Get him on every waiting list as soon as you can. You know you are going to need to have that perfect place for him and you want to transition him in well. He is going to have to have an aide with him. We all know that. This is not going to be easy. I feel for you so much. The only thing that is going to not be hard is he will have no problem getting disability.