And the drama continues

[Jabberwockey]

Ah! Fitting.

 

[New Leaf]

Ah! Fitting.

Unfortunately so, my d c's think they are just fine with their dabbling and addictions.......finally realized the only person I could change, was myself.....

 

[mtic]

My Difficult Child met with his probation officer today. From what I understand after my son called me, the probation officer needs to talk to the judge or send this to a judge to see what happens next. Said he was able to move back to the state he was living in if he wanted and he would be in touch about the next step.

When my Difficult Child called me on Thursday, he said he wanted to move back to his home town no matter if we let him stay with us or not. His roommate drove him here, and we did let him sleep here last night but told him we couldn't have him living with us. He was supposed to move in with another friend. He just called and said he's heading back to the state he moved to because he had no place to stay here. Gee, really? Do you think he was 100% counting on us to cave and to take him back in? I do. Is it sad that I actually felt relief when he said he was going back? I believe he had already quit his job there, but that's not my problem. He said his roommate is willing to take him back. Again...not my problem. How does one live this flippin' way? No plans, no job, no money. Would drive me insane. Heading to a holiday party tonight, so putting this all out of my head.

I'm sure he'll call me some time this week. I can ask him what his plans are. Thanks to this board, I was able to give some good responses to him but not try to solve his problems as I would have in the past. Have a great night everyone.

 

[Tanya M]

Gee, really? Do you think he was 100% counting on us to cave and to take him back in?

Without a doubt. It's actually a good thing that this happened. You have sent him a clear message that he cannot live with you and he knows you mean it.
You did great!!

Is it sad that I actually felt relief when he said he was going back?

No, it's not sad that you felt relief, it's very normal and it's the truth.

Heading to a holiday party tonight, so putting this all out of my head.

Good for you MTD!! I hope you have a wonderful time.

 

[Kalahou]

How does one live this flippin' way? No plans, no job, no money. Would drive me insane.

I'm with you mtdenise. I'd be insane with you. But by detaching from these DCs and observing from a distance, it is finally a relief that it's "not my problem" as you said.

Is it sad that I actually felt relief when he said he was going back?

Not sad at all ! It shows you are progressing well in detaching with wisdom. With my own son, I don't know where he is or what he's doing, and it is really more of a relief not to know. I like to think no news is good news. I did see him for 5 minutes last week as he came unexpectedly to the yard to grab something from his storage shed. (Actually, I was surprised I did feel a relief to see him, simply because I did not even know if he was alive as I had not seen nor heard the past weeks.) Surprisingly, he gave me a quick hug as he rushed off, and said "call me sometimes, mom." I kept quiet, but thought to myself "no, I really don't want to call you, what for? I really don't want to know anything." He's so uncommunicative, that if I did call it would be like a one way interrogation ( same old... same old....) so no thank you. (Of course he never calls us.)

Thanks to this board, I was able to give some good responses to him but not try to solve his problems as I would have in the past.

I'm with you again on this one also. This board saves me each time I come here everyday and learn something new I need to hear and know. I've been able to use so many suggestions and responses learned here to stay strong and unemotional and detached. I am so glad to hear you say you are putting it all out of your head. Your good report helps to build us all up.