Another Weekend Ruined b4 Starting...

[WSM]

I only mentioned the BMI because difficult child had a physical 2 weeks ago and the results are here on my desk and that's what the pediatrician wrote.

I only wanted to substantiate that altho husband is anxious about difficult child's weight and eating habits, and difficult child said that weird thing, difficult child is officially properly nourished, healthy, and growing well. He has uncommon eating habits, but they aren't harming him. And husband and difficult child have gotten into a power struggle over it, and I think in this case, husband is wrong, but husband is backing off. I have no idea what my BMI or anyone else's in the family is. It was just on the dr's report.

 

[smallworld]

Here's a link to an article about Projective Testing so you know what you're looking for:

[ame]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Projective_tests[/ame]


If you end up doing it for difficult child, make sure you choose a clinician (usually a PhD psychologist) who has lots of experience with these tests because the interpretation is what is critical to a meaningful evaluation.

My son just underwent Projective Testing because we're considering a bunch of different residential placements, and we wanted to know how emotionally "sturdy" he is. We get the results this Thursday.

Good luck.

 

[Marguerite]

ABout the BMI thing - if husband is worrying about it, tell him to not let it concern hhim because it's not meant to apply to anyone not fully grown yet, and it's increasingly recognised as inaccurate anyway.

And if you need to, to calculate BMI (for us in metric land, anyway) is your weight in kilograms, divided by the square of your height in metres.

About eyes changing colour - the scientist in me wants to explain, eyes don't change colour. Or at least, the iris is the colour it is. But the eyes can APPEAR to change colour, when the pupil expands or contracts. It's much more noticeable with paler eyes (blue or hazel). And there CAN be a strong connection to state of mind - fear, anger or stress can make the pupil shrink, making the eyes appear paler. Sexual arousal or excitement will make the pupil expand, making the eye seem darker. There are also hormonal connections here.
So next time you're taking note of apparent eye colour change - focus on his pupils, see if they're expanding or contracting more than other people in the same light level. And mention it to the doctor, because it CAN be relevant.

Otherwise - your description of his 'excuses' and your analysis of his thinking, pretty much matches what I was saying earlier. Some of it is fairly typical behaviour, but it's mixed in with some disordered thinking in there as well. A mix, a blend. And it sounds like husband is clinging to hope that the normal is predominant, and trying to ignore the abnormal, or play it down. And as you said - he can hold it together well enough for long enough, to fool most of the people most of the time.

Truth will out. As he gets older, it should get more difficult to hold things together, because he isn't learning fast enough, he's still getting things wrong with his excuses.

Hang in there.

Marg