Be prepared...Corys got a probation appointment tomorrow

[Hound dog]

((hugs)) Janet.

Eventually Cory's slippery coat will wear off. I'm suprised he still has it honestly.

His attitude doesn't surprise me. I've run in to it before. Seen it in my brothers when they were young. Stepgfg has it most of the time. Even Nichole had it going on until she decided to open her eyes and take a good look at reality. You can't really get anything thru their head with that attitude there.

 

[DammitJanet]

I know his time will run out eventually. I was fully prepared for it to be today. I do hope that at some point he will tire of this odd life. We get glimpses of him trying to grow but then he backslides. I have pointed out the error of his ways until I am blue...does no good.

There are a few things that give me small hope. I did some of the things he has done when I was his age or younger but I didnt get caught. I did some things he hasnt done. I was just better at hiding my misdeeds and I didnt flaunt things in the face of authority. I grew up to be an extremely law abiding member of society. If I do break a law now its by accident and I feel such a huge amount of guilt I can hardly stand it. I cant even go have a mixed drink because I know I take medications and to me that is breaking the "rules". See...Im weird now...lol.

Maybe if he can just grow up he will eventually mellow out. He isnt violent or anything like that so what he ends up doing is really only hurting him and us. He wouldnt break into a store or rob a persons home or beat up old ladies. He just does stupid things.

 

[Abbey]

Janet,

We ALL did stupid things as a teen. That's normal. But, the difference is learning from those stupid things and moving on. (I'm laughing as I'm 47 and haven't learned all of that yet.)

At some point you need to learn to live on your own and accept whatever consequences. It could be as simple as paying your electric bill. He has GOT to do this without your help.

I'm truly glad that he he 'got off,' but I don't want to see the cycle go again and again. And I imagine without major change, it will happen again and again.

Hugs to you, dear. I know this has been really hard and will continue to be really hard.

Abbey

 

[DammitJanet]

Ya know Abbey...its not as hard as it used to be. I used to anguish over everything that happened to him and actually feel it as though it were happening to me. Now its like...well...yeah...ok...Im sure you can figure something out Cory. What do you intend to do about that problem?

The only place I probably rescue him is with keyana. I take care of her needs. She isnt at fault in any of this. However...and I have made this abundantly clear to everyone in this house....I wont do this again for another baby. He better not bring another baby into the world and expect to bring it here. I will walk away first. Im not so sure his current girlfriend wouldnt love to have a baby. Im praying he has become sterile.

 

[Hound dog]

Janet I used to feel that way with Nichole. I think it's because the two of us are so much alike. But I guess somewhere along the way I realize I figured it out, and she'll have to too. And to be honest, the kid is coming from a MUCH better place than I did. So if I could do it, I've got to have faith she can and will too.

If my kids had a clue of half the stupid stunts I did as a teen I doubt they'd believe it. I never got caught. Even my Mom doesn't know most of the stuff I did. lol One close call too many, and I've walked the straight and narrow every since. Now I'm too stinkin' proud to break the law or to even consider doing anything like the stuff I did back then.

Cory is a good kid at heart. I think he'll come around eventually. Actually, all his stunts reminds me of my brother S. And S has been the epitome of law abiding citizen since he was about 23. lol (he was a bit slow to learn too lol)

 

[Abbey]

You're a good grandma, Janet. Kenyana is lucky. Cory? Well, he 'sounds' like he's making moves in the right direction, but as the old saying goes, "Proof is in the pudding." He needs to make it happen for himself and his daughter. No more slipping under the radar.

Shoot. My neighbor has a tethering system for their dog that God must have made. It's incredible. Maybe I could send one to you to keep his behind in. If he got too far, he'd get this nice yank on his neck.

Abbey

 

[Kolleen]

Janet, I agree with you and your current feeligns. I think we eventually get to a place that we are 'feeling-less' toward them and their issues.
Sometimes I'd get that way when he was younger & after some huge problem, but then those mothering feelings would resurface and I'd want to help or guide him.

I'm to the point of what happens when he's Launched on 9/30 is his own problem. It's good if all this stuff doesn't faze us anymore. We've become immune to it.

Hang in there............... Take care of you and yours.

 

[Star*]

Janet,

You know our kindred sons. Nine years huh? Nine long years and now it is to the point where when I hear myself thinking out loud about things to help Dude I believe due to stress I've come to an impasse.

And I think if it happened with them ONCE in a blue moon (two full moons in one month) I would shrug and say "This too shall pass" and move on from that mental place. You know but it's more like a step ladder in a well that's filling up. You start on the bottom run safe and fairly secure. Then the flood starts and drama is the water. And so when you can - you move up one rung, and think I am safe for now. Yet MORE water pours in, and you move up a rung, and MORE water floods in. And this process repeats itself until you are at the uppermost rung on the ladder at the top of the well and you look around and see - LAND - and run.

The thing is - the flood never seems to stop coming for some of these kids. And eventually I've found myself sitting alone thinking - If I had stayed in the well I would have drown. And I just get SO sick and tired of being sick and tired and tired of complaining about being tired of being sick and tired, I just dont' know where to go.

I love my son. No doubt in that. I want him to be healthy, happy, safe and settled. I don't know when that happens and it's a battle to stop myself from feeling guilty about stepping away and letting his life happen because ALL of me wants to save him. Part of me wants him to just go somewhere and bother someone else. Most of me wants to feel something; anything that was like it was before dude. And just about the time I allow myself that convenience - WHAM - here comes the flood again. And the drama for me is what is so stressful.

I'm sorry Cory is being a difficult child. I wonder about the girlfriend - if she doesn't help him pay that fine SHE KNOWS he goes to jail and maybe SHE is ready for a break and figures no pay - no Cory - and fancies herself all alone in HER room in YOUR house?

I'd like to send you a bucket to bail out your never ending well - but like that song says - there's a hole in my bucket dear janet......and if I had any idea what would allow us to just breathe? I'd get two. you deserve better than what you endure.

Hugs
Star

 

[Kolleen]

Bravo Star!!! Beautifully put! What a vivid picture! It never ceases to amaze me that my life and feelings can come out of someone else's mouth. That we are not alone in this. What a stress reducer just that is.
Thanks for sharing.