Got me thinking then found out more and now feeling sad, empty, numb and more resolved that I am doing the right thing.
Good for you Hopeful, the more you experience and post the stronger I see you growing. You are doing so well.
Difficult Child responds I am not going to a shelter. .....tells me that local police stopped him told him....if they see him within 500 feet of house whether order is in affect or not they will arrest him. THIS IS A GOOD THING, YES! Thank you local police.
You did a lot of work finding this shelter for him. You know he does have a choice for warmth, structure and help. He does not want that. So, remember this response when he calls, comes around and bemoans his circumstances. He has options. He needs to know your home is
not an option.
Yay for your local police, they are on it!
Difficult Child tells me he needs present because he needs 50 to be able to stay with friend for 1 month (I am thinking yeah whatever) I tell Difficult Child we were giving him 25 he starts you are not going to see me for Christmas..... you won't help me......I go inside.
Perfect response, you do not have to be engaged with this nonsense.
Christmas present is compromise between me amd hubby. Difficult Child calls later, we do not answer he pleading on answering machine to please pick up. I answer he wants a ride I say sorry no. He starts in with if you cared etc....I hang up.
Ugh, this is constant, you are not a taxi service.
Difficult Child put on Facebook here it is:
" I failed to realize I had a loveing family till I pushed them away or scared them off I regreat every bad thing I said or did too them .. I would still die just to see them happy or smile if I had to it's a hard time for all of us and I gotta stay strong and make my family proud and my grandpa.. I'd do anything just to have another week with my grandpa he taught me so much and it's time I used it. And I hope one day to be able to sit down wit him and talk about good things time I got my life on track ‼‼‼‼‼ "
Your son is a pretty smart kid, I think he should be able to do just fine taking care of himself. By not falling for his shuck and jive stories, you are helping him see that he needs to be honest and forthright......
I think we'll this could be manipulation, mental illness, beginnings of change or something else. Hubby thinks maybe he is starting to get it.
if he is getting it, he would stop harassing his parents, and get on with his responsibility.
I then go to Difficult Child s page and see post from 1 hour before: it's a picture that says "the realist on your team is your mom. She been there through everything. No matter who left she was and always will be there 100". Then Difficult Child comments above that picture of the saying "Ha... if only this were true"
This is part of the manipulation. Hang tight Hopeful. Our d c's try to
drive a wedge between parents. One becomes the bad guy, the other, the "kind" parent. D c's, are really good at this stuff.
Wow, I see no change. Maybe it is mental illness maybe manipulation. Well regardless Difficult Child needs help refuses there is nothing more to do.
I agree, so true.
I am not giving up hope there is nothing more I can do. It seems like the closer Christmas gets the harder it is getting. Maybe it's just me. I am thankful for the callous that has formed over my heart because it is somewhat protected. Normally all of this would have set everything spinning.
I am glad you are not spinning. It is perfectly normal to go through the gamut of emotions. We are coming out of the FOG of enabling, it is a good thing for us, and them. There is always hope, just not under our roof.
Hubby and 1st born said maybe he is changing, he thought about things and posted about messing up. I just say those are just words and look at what he posted just an hour before - Difficult Child can do something about his situation put action to those words and show me you are trying and making progress. That is not happening which shows me there is no change.
Good for you Hopeful. My hubs favorite line is "Talk is cheap" this is so true. My two have a lot they need to show in action, before I will say they have changed.
Continuing to stand strong. I have a sponsor in ALA Non, another blessing from this site. Thank you for encouragement to go to Ala non, I have been going 2 times a week and it helps to, my toolbox is growing.
Oh good, a sponsor! Yay, Hopeful. One more person who you can talk with who has been through the journey. Awesome. Fill up your toolbox!
You all on this site help me stay a strong warrior mom. Thank you for your feedback, listening, caring and prayers.
Well off to mom's for our annual baking frenzy for Christmas goodies. 2 days of baking. I am going to have a blast.
Thank you for sharing Hopeful, you are doing so well despite such an onslaught from your boy. He is trying everything to rally the troops, he really should be trying to better his life, rather than spending all of this time trying to hook you folks back in. Keep strong, it is the hardest, but actually most LOVING thing you are doing for your son.
Your baking frenzy sounds like yummy fun. Take care Hopeful, have a great time with your family.
You are going to be just fine sister!
(((Hugs)))
leafy
