BT Couldn't Leave Well Enough Alone....

[DaisyFace]

I think you, like me, are a difficult child-magnet. Good grief!!!

Oh, is THAT the problem???

Anybody know how I can shut it off...????

 

[TerryJ2]

Let me know when you figure it out. I need the capability, too.

 

[rejectedmom]

me too` So sorry for all your troubles, if she continues to invade your life I would pursue the harassment charge and get a restraining order.

 

[DammitJanet]

This sounds just so idiotic and crazy that I can only think it is going to end very badly. I cant see her going quietly into the night. Have you questioned your daughter about whether or not this woman ever behaved in an inappropriate manner with her? It just occurred to me that she almost sounds like a spurned lover in that she doesnt want to give up contact with your daughter. Or simply a severe borderline person who cannot take no for an answer.

 

[tiredmommy]

I hope she's borderline and hasn't harmed difficult child! Scary thought. I mean, she's caused harm by creating havoc, but....

 

[buddy]

this may be the first time if she is so young, that she has experienced the horrible feeling of losing a job. She may be in a panic and acting on her impulses especially as such a young immature person. Hopefully time will settle things down, I suspect on Tues she is going to get a huge wake up call and that may snap her out of it. Losing a job is hard enough, but if you have to face your own mistakes and accept some resposibility it can be a huge ego blow. I went thru that as a youngster.... I would have handled it very differently now. (fell apart, crying etc... right there in the hr office. they wanted me to finish the year, I didn't, it was just a non renewal of a contract but I really wanted it, and I as sooooo young. My first job and everyone said I was doing great. It was my first time failing. I am embarrassed just looking back on it. I hope she is just really clueless and immature. I pray she will get over the anger and not do something stupid and inappropriate. I know many of you have experienced people who are really out there, so can anticipate better than I, but I really hope there is nothing for difficult child to worry about and especially not you Daisy! She has done enough already. (I found myself thinking when I read some of your older posts about her, just wait till she is a parent.... ).

 

[DaisyFace]

And so it goes...

BT sent a couple of text messages today. We have not responded...

 

[DammitJanet]

She is sending them on XMAS DAY?????? Oh this isnt good at all. This is completely stalking behavior that is completely inline with someone who has become enmeshed with a patient or client or who has what is called transference. They become codependent and basically in love with them. Their lives revolve around the client.

Not good...or so not good. She is going to do everything she can to stay in difficult child's life and to heck with you.

 

[slsh]

DF - this behavior is starting to really worry me. I think a call to local police about this might not be a bad idea. I'm wondering how unhinged this poor woman has become. You just never know what is going to push someone completely over the edge.

You and husband have made it abundantly clear she is not to contact you. She has ignored you. I don't want to be alarmist, but... she knows a lot about your family, and she's (in my humble opinion) completely lost sight of any kind of boundaries. I really would give the police a call.

 

[cubsgirl]

I second letting the local police know. This is getting way too weird (in a scary sort of way) for your family. You shouldn't have to deal with difficult child BT on top of dealing with difficult child.

 

[klmno]

Well, I knew a lot of people working in fields like this were difficult children or had their own MH issues but this goes way over the line. I'm sure I don't need to say this but it's what is going over and over in my mind- you are saving all evidence of her contact, correct? Now, call the police. The very fact that you are calling them on Christmas and have evidence that she sent two emails on Christmas will be taken more seriously, I think. Personally, I think she's already over the edge. It's not just what you're seeing/receiving, but read between the lines- why doesn't she have something better to do today even if it's be lazy and watch a movie- why is she stressing over this so much today that she's contacting you and is she that hung up on ruining your Christmas, getting to your daughter, blaming you for all her problems or what? It doesn't matter but my point is that it's a major red flag that she's "WAY" out there either way and probably won't stop at this.

 

[HaoZi]

Adding my vote to call the police and start a paper trail for harassment and maybe a restraining order. If she has any direct way to contact difficult child (phone, Facebook, IM) I'd be checking those.

 

[DammitJanet]

also alert the school when difficult child goes back to school that this person does not have your permission to contact or pick up difficult child. Or call about her. With her supposed credentials, it is entirely likely the school would allow contact or give details about difficult child to a BT.

 

[exhausted]

I agree with all! She's a nut-no telling what could be next. Better safe than sorry. So sorry! Dang-it, it's Christmas.

 

[susiestar]

PLEASE call the police about this. This woman isn't just unhinged - she is flat out crazy in a scary stalker way. DJ is right when she said this sounds more like a spurned lover than anything else. She clearly is NOT going to go away and in my humble opinion you will likely NEED to get a restraining order against her. This has gone past the point of just being young, immature, and/or unprofessional. It is in the realm of mental illness scariness.

Check every way she could contact difficult child - fb, email, etc... Sit down and talk with difficult child to see if SSBT (Scary Stalker Behavioral Therapist) did anything inappropriate when they were together. I am beginning to wonder if maybe SSBT didn't do some things with difficult child that she is afraid of you, husband and her supervisor finding out. I also think that she is so young and stupid as to think she can turn this around now.

Call the police. Get a TRO tomorrow (temp restraining order). Sorry you had to have a hot cuppa crazy with your Christmas.

 

[tiredmommy]

by the way, I'd make sure the supervisor understands that you expect the agency will cover any legal fees due to this woman since they are the ones that hired and matched her to your family. And also that your expect them to do anything in their power to compel her to stop the harassment.

 

[DaisyFace]

It just occurred to me that she almost sounds like a spurned lover in that she doesnt want to give up contact with your daughter. Or simply a severe borderline person who cannot take no for an answer.

The whole "fatal attraction" thing did cross my mind...

And what was said about BT becoming 'enmeshed' might be pretty accurate. BT wrote to Supervisor that difficult child will be 'devastated' by the discontinuation of services. She warned that she and difficult child had developed a 'solid rapport' - and by disrupting that, difficult child was likely to fall apart and begin acting out.

Now the reality on this end, of course, is that difficult child had developed no such attachment...so the fact that BT is not supposed to be working with her any longer is no skin off difficult child's nose.

We did not call the police today...the texts that BT sent today wished us all a nice holiday....that could be a "final farewell"...

Tomorrow, BT was originally scheduled to spend a few hours working with difficult child. husband's email the other night specifically informed BT that she is NOT to do those scheduled hours.

We are going to see whether BT contacts us tomorrow (or comes to the house) in an attempt to do those hours...

If she does, we will call police.

 

[DammitJanet]

Ok...good thinking. Those type texts wouldnt be enough to hang her. I still keep in contact with my ex therapist (in fact we texted today..lol) and I exchange hello's with Cory's former team when I see them but I would never contact them at their homes. My ex therapist is different because we have become friends after the professional relationship ended.

 

[buddy]

OH, I almost lost my hoping that she was just totally immature and clueless mode...but maybe this last little thing is her strange way to get through her grief over all of this.... her "acceptance" phase? OR she is just as other say...unhinged and this is a manipulation to lull you into thinking she is over it now....


Yeah given the sensitive nature of what she has done (by the way, pretty funny to go from charging someone to saying have a happy holiday, think it will make her claims even less credible) it is better safe than sorry. I think your plan is perfect. Maybe add a call to the center to make sure they know there is to be NO contact. So she does not get through. but that you want to know immediately if any attempt is made. I think that even more likely than her calling cps or doing something criminal.... it is the unethical stuff that is super likely to happen. she could talk to difficult child and say that she lost her job because you dont want her to succeed in the ways she was helping her to do so.... etc. Really could make even more problems on the relationship front.

 

[Malika]

Well, if nothing else, she has been a good subject for conversation