I can only speak for myself. Forgiveness is for me not the other person. My son has trampled and broken my heart more times than I can remember. He has done and said the most hurtful, vile things to me. I chose to forgive him for all of it. I did this for myself. It allowed me to let go of the hurt and anger as I do not want to carry that around in my heart or in my mind. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. Forgiving does not mean wiping the slate clean. My son has recently been released from prison and for the time being is doing "well". He tells me he's sober and attending AA meetings and has a job. He's also living in a half way house and being sober and holding a job are conditions of his parole. If he violates his parole he will be sent back to prison to finish out his complete sentence. Of course I hope he's sincere but I've traveled this road before more than a few times and the destination is never a good one. No, I will never forget all the crap and chaos he's brought into my life but again, I forgive him so I can move on and not hold onto the anger and hurt. There have been times over the years where in talking with my son I will make mention of something he had done in the past, not to be mean, but more of a matter of fact. My son would become enraged and say "why do you always have to throw my past in my face" to which I would reply, "Son, I have forgiven you but I will never forget the hurt and chaos you have caused" I truly believe that until my son really comes to accept and understand the hurt and chaos he has caused and deeply have regret for it, he will always have the mindset of it being thrown in his face. Sure, he's told me many times over the years how sorry he is but here's the thing, when you are truly sorry for something you have done, you don't do it again or at least you really try not to do it again. Forgiveness for me is freeing. It allows me to move on. Not forgetting allows me to stay on my guard.