difficult child doesn't want to be viewed as crazy

[dlgallant]

difficult child actually called on the phone, no text message, the day before here easy child sister's wedding. She said she's ready to deal with her legal problems and wants me to go with her to pick her her summons. She also said she's willing to comply with every aspect of the plea deal except ..... counseling. Of course the most important one she doesn't want to do. Her reason? She doesn't want to be viewed as crazy. :rolleyes:

Hmmmm, looking crazy didn't stop her from stealing my car, running away, faking drug dependency, or anything else that she did. But getting help will make people think she has a problem? She did agree to go for a psyche evaluation, she seems convinced she'll get a clean bill of health then and counseling won't be necessary.

I'm not convinced she'll follow through with anything. Especially since she's still in contact with her bio dad (the man who abused her) and living with her "advisor." She has two nasty bruises on her left cheek that she tried to hide with make up, obviously someone is punching her.

 

[Fran]

Counseling doesn't make one "crazy". Acting crazy is what gives people the idea that someone isn't thinking correctly.
If she doesn't go to counseling won't make people think she is a easy child.
Hope she gets that counseling is supposed to help and not be punishment.

 

[dlgallant]

At this point, I think she'd rather go to jail than counseling. I can't seem to find the magic words to convince her this is not in her best interests. How to reason with someone who's not thinking reasonably? (wouldn't many of us like the answer to that one?)

 

[rejectedmom]

I am so sorry. It is so frustrating when they are so resistant to getting the help they need. At this point I do not think there is anything you can do or say that will make her feel differently. I would just stop trying to convince her and start saying "It is your life and your choice. You know how I feel so lets not rehash all that again. I will continue to pray for you and I will write you when you are in jail." -RM

 

[meowbunny]

Well, maybe if you start slowly. Since she's agreed to the psyche evaluation, get that set up. Let her see the results of that and then maybe she'll be more open to discussing getting therapy.

Maybe it would help if you suggested that the counseling be in a town near you rather than your town? At least then she could think she is hiding the fact she is in therapy to her friends?

Other than that, keep repeating rejectedmom's sentences to your daughter. That might get the message across.

 

[KFld]

Hopefully once she goes for the evaluation. she will feel comfortable enough and realize that going to counseling doesn't make you crazy. I hope she takes this step because I know you are struggling so with what she is doing to her life right now.

 

[flutterbee]

Only sane people (those of us thinking rationally) ever think they are "crazy". "Crazy" people (those thinking irrationally) never think they are "crazy".

Keeping my fingers crossed that she follows through with the psychiatric evaluation and that it will convince her to seek help.

 

[hearthope]

Sorry I don't know the whole story.

In your post it says part of the plea deal is the counseling she refuses to do.

Is she being allowed to choose which parts of the deal she will do?

 

[branbran]

Maybe she will change her mind about the counseling once she is in the court room and faced with jail time. I hope so, anyway.

Keep your head up. :smile:

 

[Scent of Cedar I]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: rejectedmom</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

"It is your life and your choice. You know how I feel so lets not rehash all that again. I will continue to pray for you and I will write you when you are in jail." -RM </div></div>

RM is right, I think. Too many times, our difficult child kids refuse to believe "consequences" apply to them. We can talk until we are blue in the face, but change nothing.

Is your daughter in an abusive relationship? (You had mentioned bruising on her cheeks in your post.)

Barbara

 

[dlgallant]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: hearthope</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Sorry I don't know the whole story.

In your post it says part of the plea deal is the counseling she refuses to do.

Is she being allowed to choose which parts of the deal she will do?</div></div>

The prosecutor is allowing me some input into the plea deal, but not my daughter. Counseling is mandatory. She'll only be allowed minimal choices, like which community service. But right now she'd rather go to jail than counseling, but she doesn't think that makes her look irrational at all! ARGH

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Scent of Cedar I</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: rejectedmom</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

"It is your life and your choice. You know how I feel so lets not rehash all that again. I will continue to pray for you and I will write you when you are in jail." -RM </div></div>

RM is right, I think. Too many times, our difficult child kids refuse to believe "consequences" apply to them. We can talk until we are blue in the face, but change nothing.

Is your daughter in an abusive relationship? (You had mentioned bruising on her cheeks in your post.)

Barbara </div></div>

Yes, unfortunately she is. This guy was in juvenile jail for assault. She claims he doesn't hurt her, but her explanations for the constant bruises don't add up.

I really hope she shows up today to start the process of dealing with all of this. The boyfriend's sister is now making threats against my daughter. I think the new drama will send difficult child back into hiding again.