Thank you so much for responding. These last couple of days have been extra tough. She had a baby boy a few weeks ago…. And as you can imagine it’s eating me alive. It is killing me that I haven’t had the joy of meeting him, and holding him. … my first and only grandchild. Even more so it’s killing me that my relationship is at a zil with my only child (daughter) at this time and I fear for her future, but I know I can’t fix her or her situation. She did have substance issues in the past… not sure they are still there. Nothing heavy (as far as I know) she really liked marijuana but with her mental illness, it may have helped immediately, but exacerbated it over all. (If that makes any sense) plus our state legalized it, so I’m sure it makes it tougher to disengage in for her. Last I heard I am dead to her and she doesn’t want my parents, myself, any of my family who love her so much to even see pictures of him. There are weak moments like today, I just want to send her a text saying I love her, or miss her, or both…. But I also know that will open Pandora’s box, and will not be received well or go well. I don’t know what God has in store and have to trust it will all work out. I know I need therapy and am on their waiting list…it is obvious I need the counseling as I will just break down crying for no apparent reason at the most random times. I hurt beyond words, but if I had to find a silver lining, it has allowed me to really connect and empathize with many others who are going through/been through similar situations, and meet wonderful people like yourself. I thank you for your words, I needed to hear what you said, it gave me the strength again like others prior, not to do anything that will make matters worse. I have to be patient and believe this will work out. Thank you.