difficult child should stick to riding a bike

[KFld]

difficult child just got his truck registered and on the road a few weeks ago. Before that he didn't have a vehicle for almost a year. It's an old beat up truck, but it gets him where he needs to go and it only cost him $300.

Anyway, he calls me last night and asks, how much does your insurance go up when you hit someone?? Then he goes on to tell me that he was in the driveway of his house, which is pretty much a parking lot, and he was stressed because wingnut kept calling him and he said he hasn't really been talking to her and she kept calling and calling and then she said she was coming there, and he didn't want to see her so he was trying to leave and sideswiped his roommates car!!!!

What I wanted to say was, you are the idiot who answers the phone when she calls, you could change your number, you could tell your roommates just to tell her your not there when she comes, you could have never told her where you lived, yada yada yada, but I was good. I just said, call your insurance company and find out what you have to do and if it goes up, it goes up!!

He just doesn't get it that his life will always be chaotic as long as he has anything to do with her. He must like the drama though, because he keeps doing it. Hellooooo, if you don't want to talk to her, then don't answer when she calls. If he only realized how rediculous he sounds when he tells me these things.

3 steps forward, one step back :rolleyes:

 

[Suz]

You are a better woman than I, Karen. I'm not sure I would have been able to resist "the lecture."

deep breaths.

Suz

 

[KFld]

Well, he just called me from his old cell phone number, the one that is on our family plan. I asked him why he's using that phone and he said because Sarah keeps calling and him over and over and he doesn't want to talk to her, so he's using his old phone until he can change his number on his new phone. I told him that is fine, but we've been through this before and then he ends up giving it to her eventually. Now he's afraid she's going to show up at the house and start calling him at work. I reminded him that he has been through this how many times also and that there are things he can do about it, if he really wants to.
Apparentley he found out that she has been seeing somebody else :smile: A few months back he found letters in her drawer from an old friend of both of theirs that was in jail and the letters were saying that he can't wait to get out so they can have a real relationship. Well the somebody a friend of his told my daughter she saw Sarah with last week is this same guy. I guess he's out of jail.

We'll see how long this lasts!!!

 

[Sunlight]

sigh

 

[KFld]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ant'smom</div><div class="ubbcode-body">sigh</div></div>

Yeah, I'm not getting my hopes up

 

[witzend]

Tell him that it goes up enough that he shouldn't report it, he should just make arrangements to pay for the repair. It happened on private property, so there's nothing illegal about that.

 

[KFld]

He did tell me today he made arrangements to give his roommate cash over the next few weeks and not report it.

So much for putting some money in the bank.

 

[hearthope]

Sorry Karen!

Seems like he would change the number if he didn't want to be bothered by her

There are stalking and harassment laws he could use to keep her away, when he is ready

 

[ScentofCedar]

Wow, Karen ~ good job! :smile:

Karen, have you tried gently ridiculing wingnut? You know, something like shaking your head and saying "Well, that is what those kinds of people do"? Or, "You know, I thought she might do something like that to you. I'm sorry, honey. Just keep not responding and she will find someone else to harrass ~ that is what those kinds of people do."

Maybe, if your son could begin looking at her in that way, she would not be able to rattle him so.

It just makes me shiver to think what you all would be going through right now is that HAD been your son's baby.

Strange, that they let her keep and raise it.

Barbara

 

[KFld]

Barbara, the funny thing is he knows all these things and says them himself. He tells me how nuts she is all the time and I just keep reminding him that he is the one who chooses to stay with her.

It was probably almost a year ago that he changed his cell phone number when he was living further away and he had gone down to the court house to put something into place because she kept showing up and calling his job and almost getting him fired, but then he doesn't follow through. He'll turn around and call her from the changed number so she has it, or go to see her after he tries to stop her from seeing him??

I told him there are many things he can do once he is ready and that he doesn't have to tolerate her calling his job and showing up. I'm sure this next week I will be receiving many phone calls from him that she is calling his work and showing up at his house and I need to just stay calm and remind him, there are things he can do if he wants too.

The only thing he said different yesterday when I reminded him that he has gone through this in the past so many times, he said he has a good sponsor now that he can talk to and he thinks it will really help him this time :smile:

Maybe that will make the difference and maybe not, but I will not even begin to get my hopes up that this relationship is over.

I still shiver also to think what it would have been like if the baby was his.

I have always said, he has two addictions, the drugs and her and they are both just as lethal!! He's 7 months clean from one and hopefully someday and I can say that about the other.