difficult child????
- Thread starter Barbara
- Start date
I am sorry Barbara. There have been days and months and even a few years where I questioned myself as to why I even THOUGHT I wanted kids. There are so many times when the pros don't even come close to the con's. And it is not just the kids' behavior but everything else that makes a mom's job and sacrifices you make within it. Don't get me wrong, I usually don't mind the sacrifices but once in a while one of those sacrifices really does hurt. I find that I am selfish so I had several sacrifices that hurt and took a long time to adjust to not being able to do as much "me" things as I was accustomed to (I had a very long and happy single life before getting married at 27 years so was used to the independence).
I hope you have a better day today. Anything in particular we can help with? Just know that we really do know those feelings and the laughter is at the relief it would bring many if there were such a thing.
I hope you have a better day today. Anything in particular we can help with? Just know that we really do know those feelings and the laughter is at the relief it would bring many if there were such a thing.
crazymama30
Active Member
There have been days I have wondered the same thing. I think I found my on a clearance rack. All sales final
I had just tried to say that these "difficult children" (which truly do not "belong" to us, anyway) are only God's messengers--it is what they teach us, that is the "Gift from God": Patience, Tolerance, and Humility....
Speaking for myself, I know that I was lacking in these particular virtues...
So I think that may be what He had in mind when he gave me this particular daughter.
{And I was having such a bad day yesterday...that my post probably came off as particularly cranky...So again, I apologize if anyone was upset}
--DaisyF
Funny (as in strange coincidence) you mentioned that difficult child's are God's messengers - who are hear to teach us too.
When N* came to live with me, people would say, "She's lucky to have you." I would always reply, "I'm lucky to have her." And I meant it. I started on this journey thinking I had plenty to teach her. However, what I've learned has far surpassed what I've taught her. I thought I was patient, tolerant, loving, forgiving, caring, compassionate, strong, generous, etc. before N* came to stay permanently. Wow! Did I ever have that wrong!
I've grown, in ways I know I would not have, if N* had not come to live with me. I know I'm capable of unconditional love and a warrior spirit - simultaneously.
On a lighthearted note, while I would not take a million dollars for N*, I would not pay anyone a nickel for another one just like her. I had hoped for better things for her, for her sake, not mine. I've had to learn to accept the things I cannot change. That's been a tough lesson for me.
When N* came to live with me, people would say, "She's lucky to have you." I would always reply, "I'm lucky to have her." And I meant it. I started on this journey thinking I had plenty to teach her. However, what I've learned has far surpassed what I've taught her. I thought I was patient, tolerant, loving, forgiving, caring, compassionate, strong, generous, etc. before N* came to stay permanently. Wow! Did I ever have that wrong!
I've grown, in ways I know I would not have, if N* had not come to live with me. I know I'm capable of unconditional love and a warrior spirit - simultaneously.
On a lighthearted note, while I would not take a million dollars for N*, I would not pay anyone a nickel for another one just like her. I had hoped for better things for her, for her sake, not mine. I've had to learn to accept the things I cannot change. That's been a tough lesson for me.
While in church last week, I listened as the priest give a homily about how if we ask God for patience, He will give us oppurtunities to be patient.....as my difficult child was laying in his pew and my 5 yo was about ready to start singing and dancing and i realized.. I will never again ask God to give me patience... Because I have none left for those oppurtunities that he might thrust upon me. I too thought i was a patient person.. But my difficult child uses it all up, and i have none left for others... So when I am having to deal with him .... and how others react to him.... all i feel is worn down. There was a time i felt like a warrior MOM.. but after 13 1/2 yrs the warrior in me has faded to non existent. and each morning when I get up... and go through the battle of getting difficult child up, dressed and out the door... I realize.. it won't get any better... But C'est la vie... it is what is on my plate.. I just don't like the taste of it.
