difficult child's plan

[DammitJanet]

Eventually it does sink in. For my kids, it has taken them until their mid twenties. I couldnt have preached going to college any harder if I had a pulpit and a halo over my head.

We all know where that went. Jamie didnt even manage to check the box to get his GI Bill! Fool. When he found out there was a problem it was too late and he just figured, oh well, he would never want or need college. Yeah right. Now he has decided he needs a degree so he is going to start going to college...lol. Guess Momma was right after all...sigh. He should have listened and taken classes online when the Marines would have paid for it. Dummy.

Cory also knows he rotated his life up royally. Tells me all the time he should have listened to me. Like I could have made him!

 

[CrazyinVA]

Someone wrote my Youngest a letter like that when she was a teenager. She read it, and rolled her eyes. Unfortunately I really think it just takes time for them to "get it" ... and lots of mistakes. I mean, would you listen to any adults when you were a teenager, even if you weren't a difficult child?! Sigh.

Hugs.

 

[Nomad]

It's hard to say, but I think it is worth it having her read the letters. However, she might very well find it an invasion of privacy...so be forewarned.
Does she know you come to tis sight and is she okay with it?

I have a tiny family and wish I had gotten more "good" advice from wise counsel when I went through difficult teen years.

I do recall one rare ocassion, when my grandmother gave me such advice. I didn't really understand it at the time and I only half followed her advice. About a year later, I understood it a little more and followed her advice a little more. Many years later, I understood it completely. It was a matter of maturity.

A friend of mind went through something kinda/sorta like this (less difficult though) with her young daughter and she had relatives talk with her and this helped a little. However, then a peer talked with her and said the exact same things. Guess what? Life COMPLETELY turned around for this young woman and she did ALL THE RIGHT THINGS...exactly what mom and relatives were saying. It was like magic. Peer support/group therapy is like magic.

Nancy...does your daughter have any healthy friends or cousins around her age you could appeal to for a little support?

 

[Nancy]

Nomad she has lost all her healthy friends with the exception of one. Also she has a cousin her age that she was really close to. This cousin has given up on her when difficult child didn't go to her grad party because she was out drinking and smoking pot instead. Cousin is in college and doing very well and disgusted with difficult child that she is ruining her life. Most of the family has withdrawn their support from her because they realize she doesn't ever take it.

Nancy