Everyday is bad day we no longer have good days

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by The exhausted tiny bear, Jan 4, 2018.

  1. Not even one hour of being back to school after Christmas break and I get a phone call she’s wearing a shirt that says f you it could be worse atleast this time it’s not revealing a body part

    Should I just lock up most of her clothes up and give her specific outfits two for home two for school is that to extreme I know for a fact she also changes her clothes at school

    Worse part is principal is yelling at me as if I’m allowing this which wouldn’t surprise as my daughter states she loves being a minor cause most times I face the consequences not her

    I cannot remember the last time there was a day without incident and the food fits are the worst she seems to think specific foods are only her and will have a huge fit if someone eats it more so ridiculous
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2018
  2. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Ugghh. I hope the school comes down with consequences...on her...not you.

    Our local high school really had no dress code. I am not sure the shirt would have gotten by them, but I seen shorts so short that butt cheeks showed, yoga pants so low that I found see where their thongs were wedged. Cleavage, side boobs, etc.

    I think I would toss inappropriate clothes...but it seems teen girls will alter them, or rearrange them...

    Good luck!

  3. Thanks ya me too probably won’t do to much she ran away and is hiding with parents who supply these teens with drugs I don’t even know what to do I need to find out if I can press charges on her for drug use or not I’m so tired I think this might be my only way
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    The principal is yelling at YOU? Oh no - I'd be up in his/her face so fast he/she wouldn't know what hit 'em. I believe in defending my kid when she was in the right, but when she was not, it was in-school suspension or other school-imposed consequences.

    Our district has a fairly strict dress code. While I don't always agree with it (as a student, a parent, and a teacher), I understand the reasoning behind it. If your daughter wants to go against the rules, she needs to deal with the consequences.
  5. I whole heartedly agree she does but it always seems to fall back on me I’m at my wits end all she does is drugs get suspended and runaway I feel trapped in my home and I have no where send her either once she even left the door wide open I was in the shower anything could’ve happened but thanks for the advice I called the principal to meet with her tomorrow
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    How old is she? Have you involved the police yet? She might need more serious consequences, as difficult as it for us moms. Does your district have an alternative school for kids who aren't making it at traditional school? I can understand the feeling trapped - we had open warfare for years.
  7. 15 yes I did this time when she ran away she’s actually still missing right now but I can tell from her phone that she’s obviously logged in somewhere we do but in her case she’s too I guess extreme she doesn’t even want to go to school and she’s been caught doing drugs on the school property so the district is getting kind of tired of her and I really can’t blame them I’m just wondering now if maybe they find her on drugs because I’m pretty sure she is right now if they’ll let me press charges or something saddest part is my 16 yr old is coming out of her room finally talking interacting and comfortable now that the. Volatile kid is gone I’m searching for some kinda probation program I mean I’m not sure how to go about any of this
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    If she's taken to juvenile hall, can you refuse to pick her up, and insist that she be placed in a rehab program?
  9. I’m so disappointed they brought her back admitted the house she was at smelled of drugs yet no consequences I asked about programs he told me go to bed and work it with her tomorrow oh well I guess
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, Tiny Bear. She probably feels she's above it all now.
  11. Ya thank you for listening and being so kind this really helps to get it out I used to hold it in but this site has been a saving grace for me
  12. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Well-Known Member

    I dont know if any charges have been brought but we made a plea bargain to have our son assigned to a treatment center in Hershey pa for 6 months. That was a while back when he was about your daughters age. Tired mama
  13. JRC

    JRC Active Member

    The police really dropped the ball on that one. Can't believe they smelled drugs and let that go. Thanks alot, Mr. or Ms. Police Officer.

    Tiny Bear I'm sorry. ((hugs))
  14. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    When the authorities drop the ball with our Difficult Child it makes them feel like they can get away with anything. This happed with my son. Second set of charges and he was given diversion when he was no longer a candidate for diversion!! He laughed about it all the way home. I was so furious.

    He has spoken about his stint in jail and knows he does not want to go back. He had a chance of having his charges dropped if he goes and completes his rehab program. Here’s to hoping.
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  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Why does the school not have some old, not pretty, but clean unisex shirts from a charity bin for the kids who violate the dress code. Before we go to that solution, how do they apply this dress code? Is it only the kids who regularly get into trouble who get dress code violations? Or do the so called "good" kids also get dress code violations? I am willing to bet it is the former. This is the way it is in most schools. For heaven's sake, if a child has a shirt with an offensive saying on it, make them turn the shirt inside out and wear it that way. There are a million ways to solve this that do not involve yelling at parents. Why is this principal not intelligent or creative enough to find some of these solutions and use them instead of behaving unprofessionally with parents? Maybe you should brainstorm a list and give it to her. Tell her that you cannot help what your daughter changes into after she leaves the house. These are things the school can do rather than just yell at parents, which is rather useless. They probably won't like it if you do that though.

    As for the drugs and other issues with your daughter, I would go down to the City or County Courthouse and ask the Court Clerk about a CHINS Petition. This is a Child In Need of Supervision petition. It asks the court to find your daughter to need to supervision of a probation officer, someone to set rules and limits for her. Chances are your daughter will scoff at it and ignore the rules. It will largely be up to you to report her for breaking the rules. She will be angry with you for this. Probably VERY angry. It all depends on how badly you are willing and able to fight this fight, and what you think it will accomplish. Every family is different and must make this decision for themselves.