T
toughlovin
Guest
Hi all,
We talked to the therapist again tonight. I had emailed her asking for an update. My husband is going down on Friday to their family day and a visit with my son.
Anyway apparently he did not have a very good week. How much time and what kind of pass he gets next weekend will depend on how he does this week. Apparently the therapist talked about what I talked to her about last week and he shut down and acted out. He is beign defiant and not following some rules which tends to be his MO. So he did agree to see a therapist who deals with some of this stuff. She is talking to him about how the he is dealing with things is not working for him. But he is struggling with motivation to really figure stuff out... and she said he needs to figure out what will motivate him. The insurance is running out.... but it seems absolutely nuts to let him leave and go to a halfway house.... they know and we know he is not strong enough right now to stay sober. He needs continued residential treatment. My feeling is we really have to stay with this opportunity. I like this place, from what we have read and talking to her i think they know what they are talking about. They are working with the insurance co... and I think giving him more treatment than is really being covered right now. I am going to call the admissions folks on Monday to see what options we have if he runs out of insurance. If he finds soem real motivation we are willing to pay some towards treatment but we have no idea what kind of cost we are talking about....and if he is not motivated then we definitely don't want to do that. So my anxiety is up because I really feel kind of hopeless about him going to a halfway house without continued serious treatment right now.... I don't think he will stay sober!! so I have to make that call on Monday.
My reaction to all this news was what can WE do to help get that motivation.... and then of course I come back to WE can't do anything, this really has to come from him. But I wonder if he will ever accept the help he so dearly needs.
There are a couple of hopeful signs. One thing the therapist said is he does have some good survival instincts. He is depressed, although not really admitting depression but he is taking his medications for depression. She does not feel he is suicidal. Hopefully those will really kick in this week and he will feel better and that will help his motivation. He also is not in denial about how his substance abuse has caused his rift with the family. What I wonder is does he care about that rift? But at least he is not denying it is his substance abuse and so I don't think he is blaming us for it which is progress.
It helped to just write this out.... when it comes down to it, and worrying about their real welfare it is so hard to continue to step back and wait for them to get motivated towards change. Darn it I wish I could somehow make him get there.
I did ask about calling him. We could get him a calling card and let him know about it and then he coudl choose to call us. That is another phone call because I want a calling card that he can ONLY use to call home.... I don't want him using it to call his girlfriend which is what I think happened the last time he had one!!!! Anyone know of a calling card just to call home?
TL
We talked to the therapist again tonight. I had emailed her asking for an update. My husband is going down on Friday to their family day and a visit with my son.
Anyway apparently he did not have a very good week. How much time and what kind of pass he gets next weekend will depend on how he does this week. Apparently the therapist talked about what I talked to her about last week and he shut down and acted out. He is beign defiant and not following some rules which tends to be his MO. So he did agree to see a therapist who deals with some of this stuff. She is talking to him about how the he is dealing with things is not working for him. But he is struggling with motivation to really figure stuff out... and she said he needs to figure out what will motivate him. The insurance is running out.... but it seems absolutely nuts to let him leave and go to a halfway house.... they know and we know he is not strong enough right now to stay sober. He needs continued residential treatment. My feeling is we really have to stay with this opportunity. I like this place, from what we have read and talking to her i think they know what they are talking about. They are working with the insurance co... and I think giving him more treatment than is really being covered right now. I am going to call the admissions folks on Monday to see what options we have if he runs out of insurance. If he finds soem real motivation we are willing to pay some towards treatment but we have no idea what kind of cost we are talking about....and if he is not motivated then we definitely don't want to do that. So my anxiety is up because I really feel kind of hopeless about him going to a halfway house without continued serious treatment right now.... I don't think he will stay sober!! so I have to make that call on Monday.
My reaction to all this news was what can WE do to help get that motivation.... and then of course I come back to WE can't do anything, this really has to come from him. But I wonder if he will ever accept the help he so dearly needs.
There are a couple of hopeful signs. One thing the therapist said is he does have some good survival instincts. He is depressed, although not really admitting depression but he is taking his medications for depression. She does not feel he is suicidal. Hopefully those will really kick in this week and he will feel better and that will help his motivation. He also is not in denial about how his substance abuse has caused his rift with the family. What I wonder is does he care about that rift? But at least he is not denying it is his substance abuse and so I don't think he is blaming us for it which is progress.
It helped to just write this out.... when it comes down to it, and worrying about their real welfare it is so hard to continue to step back and wait for them to get motivated towards change. Darn it I wish I could somehow make him get there.
I did ask about calling him. We could get him a calling card and let him know about it and then he coudl choose to call us. That is another phone call because I want a calling card that he can ONLY use to call home.... I don't want him using it to call his girlfriend which is what I think happened the last time he had one!!!! Anyone know of a calling card just to call home?
TL