Filing for guardianship?

[!overwhelmed!]

We just dropped off the baby at CPS...we did get jurisdiction & they admitted to everything rather face a trial. The judge gave them 6 months monitoring & we get 2 overnight visitations per month. So we will hear "next week" what our scheduled visitation is. You know "she'll call us". We heard in court we can file for grandparents rights, which I will be doing this week as I just don't trust these people or their stupid system! Sorry, I'm pretty upset right now. But if they mess up within these 6 months, it won't be good for them. Prayers for our daughter to see the light & for protection for both our granddaughter & daughter. Thanks to all of you who have commented & tried to help. As always, I am open to anything anyone can think of to help our granddaughter. Thanks

 

[PatriotsGirl]

My heart is breaking for you...I hope this was a wake up call for the both of them. I also hope they really monitor them!!

 

[!overwhelmed!]

Thank you, I hope so too! I have very little faith in this particular social worker though...but I am thankful for what I do have. (Visitation) And God knows what He's doing, I'm doing everything I can & the rest is on Him. I want my daughter back & I want her to be a good mom to her daughter. I don't think that's too much to ask...but we still have a long way to go. They go before the criminal judge on Thursday, so that should be interesting! Ugh...

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Are you going to go?

 

[!overwhelmed!]

Yes, I think so. It depends on what the DA says when I get a return phone call. He usually calls the day before court.

 

[!overwhelmed!]

Ugh...new dilemma! So the felony hearing is Thursday. I just spoke with the DA. Yes he wants jail time for them both & has been inundated with calls from their lawyers about how they "just got the baby back"! The court could stagger their sentencing, but allowing that moron to be alone & responsible for my granddaughter's saftey is unimaginable!!!! The DA expects me to be there to speak or have some say in the proceedings. I just don't want to come off as the crazy grama who lost custody & is being vindictive to get her back! Any clue as to what to do? God, I need a good lawyer!!!!! Thanks for listening, just putting it out there in case someone has any ideas!

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I would most definitely be there at the hearing. I would definitely let the judge know of your concerns and your willingness to care for the baby. As long as you make it all about the baby and what is best for her, I don't think you will come off as crazy at all. Praying for you and that little one!!!

 

[recoveringenabler]

Having been in that situation of having to speak in court on behalf of my granddaughter, you may want to write down exactly what you want to say, it is challenging to remember everything when you are actually in the courtroom in front of the judge. I tried to not be emotional and yet get it clearly across that my granddaughter was not being cared for, was being neglected, etc. Focus on your fears, based on facts, for your granddaughter's safety. You might add praying for guidance, if you are inclined.

A lawyer for you would be helpful, however, in the absence of that, you might check with the DA about his/her experience with this kind of case and the best way to present your case to the judge. He knows this judge, so he may be able to provide you with information.

 

[!overwhelmed!]

Well they got some real jail time. Only 15-25 days. I couldn't tell. BUT worst case scenario: he will be alone with my granddaughter for that amount of time! He's the one who just admitted to all of the abuse on Monday in order to get her back! I'm scared for my granddaughter's saftey! I've called the child's attorney & I actually got to leave a message which is rare. But she never responded to my email so I'm not holding my breath. I called CPS but naturally my social worker is out of the office - a normal state for her. So the worker of the day was bumping me up to their boss. She actually quite nice & has been as helpful as she can be...confidentiality and all. I need to make the judge aware, but I don't know how. Can I file another JV285? It is for a relative to give the judge information. But will it even matter? I hate that the judge couldn't wait a few days...ugh! I am so concerned. The moron flipped me off in the parking lot too! I'm remaining calm. I know God knows what He's doing! Oh please pray for my baby's safety! Thanks. Again any ideas are welcome!

 

[PatriotsGirl]

In my daughter's case, I emailed the judge. Regularly. I emailed him and her probation officer and it always worked in my favor. Their email addresses must be published somewhere.
With that little jail time given, I wonder if they will really have to do any at all?

 

[!overwhelmed!]

They will both be spending 20 days each in real jail. 3 years I think formal probation. We go back on July 23rd for the restitution hearing. It is very little jail time but I am thankful for it. My problem is with the staggering. He will be alone with the baby for 20 days! Him being alone with her is part of the whole reason I went for guardianship! Maybe I just have to be patient & give them time to screw up. I'm just do scared for my granddaughter's saftey. I can't even find out what actually happened in court on Monday. I have to go by whatever I could gleen. I heard nothing about review hearings etc. All I heard was if nothing bad happens then on December 22nd it's all over including my visitation. Judge did say it was appropriate for me to file for visitation but what when where & how please! I feel grateful that judges are doing as best they can for us, it's just so dangerous for the child.

 

[4Tall]

Also, sometimes the amount of time actually served is cut in half, so it might only be 10 days. And the dad may be so tired of actually "being a dad" after a few days, that he may let you watch your grand baby to give him a break. Even though he is angry now, you could call him in a few days and let him know you can babysit her, even just for a few hours. That might change how he sees you, as an ally. It is overwhelming to take care of a 1 year old, especially since he is not used to doing it on his own.

Praying for your family!

 

[!overwhelmed!]

Thanks for your ideas. I wish it were that easy. I understand what you are saying. Problem is, A) we have a 5 year restraining order against both parents & B) he is not someone who is capable of or even cares about the baby. It's all about him & any drama he can produce. I keep trying to explain it's like dealing with a terrorist...he's not rational, especially when it comes to us. They were given 45 days with 30 actual, plus they had spent 5 in jail originally so that means 10 days off, so it is 20 days. I'm thinking of filing another JV285 with the court, so the court knows they got jail time - since no one thought they would, & asking the judge to let us watch her while my daughter is in jail. I don't know if he can or will,but I've got to try. Thank you for praying. We need every prayer! Thanks for helping...

 

[!overwhelmed!]

Ok...I don't know why that emoji showed up...hmmm

 

[tishthedish]

Thinking of you today. xox

 

[!overwhelmed!]

Thank you...you all have been so supportive. You probably already know, but still from my heart know, I am so grateful for all of you & pray for everyone on this site!

 

[!overwhelmed!]

Hi again. Just a small update...probably more to come. We've been getting our 2 overnight visitations mostly on time...however the last one our granddaughter who is now 14 months had a huge constipation problem. We took her to our Dr 5 mins from our home - family friend who she is familiar with - she was impacted with a 3 inch long 1 inch wide (2 inch middle portion) stool she could not pass. She is fine thanks to the Dr. But now because we were not thinking of anyone but her CPS is suggesting supervised visitation for us! Ironically I went before the judge the very next day - to amend my restraining order against my daughter - so we could communicate (phone text email etc). I told the judge what had happened. My daughter's lawyer said we had no right - we were unaware as we still thought our foster care papers were sufficient - but the judge was fine with it & I now understand & agreed to call CPS, & "now" my daughter & take her to ER if the need arises. The world is upside down. The lawyer asked the judge how either side could get in front of him in this case as all cases are closed. His response was grandparents visitation / rights. Why does he keep saying that? FL Code 3104 clearly states if the parents are married & living together, no grandparent rights exist! Of course they only got married because of this during the whole guardianship/CPS mess, but I don't think that matters. Anyone know of any loopholes in CA law that I am missing? CPS is supposed to let us know tomorrow what they intend to do. If they change our visitation I will find an "ex-parte" way to get back in front of the judge...any help/ideas there would be helpful too. Thanks for listening!

 

[RiverWitch102]

Overwhelmed, thanks for sharing all this. (((hugs))) (Hubby and I are in a somewhat similar situation related to my bipolar stepdaughter, though we keep wafflling about how far we're willing to go with the guardianship thing for our grandson... and the baby on the way. )

 

[!overwhelmed!]

Omg RiverWitch102...I'm so sorry to hear that. All I can tell you is NEVER let CPS anywhere near your family! That is most important. We felt we had no choice but try for guardianship. Even though our lives are a living hell thanks to CPS I still think we did the right thing. Does your stepdaughter understand she's bipolar? With a new baby coming that makes things even more difficult. If she is married to the father you don't really have any options without state intervention though - & obviously even then the goal is reunification at whatever the cost, so...you need to weigh your health both mental & physical vs caring for 2 small children. This is such a nightmare for all of us. I'll pray you come to the right decision for you & your family, whatever it is. I'm so sorry, I wish I had better information for you. But if she has an actual diagnosis of bipolar disorder it might be enough...just be forewarned it will not be easy no matter which way you go, but I'm sure you already know that! Good luck & keep us informed. I wish I could help...

 

[RiverWitch102]

Yes, she does have a formal diagnosis; that was about 7 years ago. She also does understand her condition ... but I think she also has narcissistic tendencies... as she sort of just shuts out anything that doesn't match with "today's" reality, however she interprets that.