First update since August

[AppleCori]

My daughter and I just watched a great YouTube video on Savants in connection with our brain studies.

There are only about 100 living ones identified in the world today, but they are truly remarkable.

 

[BusynMember]

Oh, yes, they are!

However many savants are only brilliant in one area and are still socially clueless. But agree that they are really fascinating.

Safe to say my son, at least, is not a savant, but is high functioning and can live on his own and is learning more and more how to deal with this thing called "life." Nobody guesses he is on the spectrum, but he had A LOT of help. There is hope, but these kids need lots of structure and they don't like change. But sometimes that can not be helped and there is nothing we can do.

 

[tishthedish]

Copa, the corker on the bus was that he still had his harness/seatbelt fully fastened. They call him Houdini!

If your GS was not under your care but another foster family do you think your son would still be going to see him? I just wonder if because it's you that have GS that is why your son puts forth the effort.

Yes. Right after we got custody we needed some distance from him. The agency would supervise visits. My son showed for every one. He does have some of that manipulative stuff going on though. But the over riding thing is love.

Is the assumption by CPS/Judge that your son will take custody after the year that you and your husband care for your grandson, if he fulfills certain requirements?

Yes, that's the plan. BUT since the child is special needs I think that there needs to be help put in place for him. He works full time. He can't get food stamps. No subsidized housing. No repsite. The payment for childcare ends as soon as DCFS signs off. More pressure and fuel added to the fire. Since there in no other parent, no other income this might repeat itself if there aren't social supports in place to help him. My D H and I are trying to get ready for retirement. I haven't been able to work as much because of the care needed and the time intensive therapies/meetings/school involvement/surgeries/medical appointments. There is a program in our state that would be a great help in these areas. We are meeting with them in February. It took them that long to get back to us since July.

Tish, I did not know you only committed to five months of care. I don't blame you or think that's wrong at all, but that does make things more heartbreaking for you.

SWot we committed to a year. I don't know how I pulled that figure out of the hat. We were in the police station, we were at the emergency room, we were frazzled and scared and wanted him safe. At the end, we want to say that we did what we could to help. We can't do anything beyond that. We still have difficult child 1 bipolar, not medicated and in full manic mode and we have our own financial and health issues that after about 4 years of neglect need some attention. One day at a time we'll get there. Trying to do so with some dignity and grace and in a manner that conveys love for our family. Appropriate love, not enabling love. It's a fine line and I have to work at it every day. All of your support helps. All the hugs help. Your perspectives are priceless.

 

[Tanya M]

My son showed for every one. He does have some of that manipulative stuff going on though. But the over riding thing is love.

This is good. I'm glad that he has a genuine love for his child.

Yes, that's the plan. BUT since the child is special needs I think that there needs to be help put in place for him. He works full time. He can't get food stamps. No subsidized housing. No repsite. The payment for childcare ends as soon as DCFS signs off. More pressure and fuel added to the fire. Since there in no other parent, no other income this might repeat itself if there aren't social supports in place to help him. My D H and I are trying to get ready for retirement. I haven't been able to work as much because of the care needed and the time intensive therapies/meetings/school involvement/surgeries/medical appointments. There is a program in our state that would be a great help in these areas. We are meeting with them in February. It took them that long to get back to us since July.

Oh Tish, you have been through so much. What a very special, loving and giving person you are. I hope on some level your son realizes how much you have done for him and his child and I hope he appreciates it.
I do hope all goes well with your meeting in February and that they will be able to direct you to or offer some kind of assistance to your son.
Hang in there Tish!! You are such an amazing person!

 

[Copabanana]

There is a program in our state that would be a great help in these areas.

I hope it works out. What about Regional Center, Tish? I feel certain Grandson would qualify, if he is not already. Do they provide assistance, respite? And school. Is there an after school program? Will grandson stay in the same school and district?

Tish, keep in touch, OK? I hope you can check in every few weeks and tell us how things are going. We care and missed you.

I feel certain your son appreciates what you have done, are doing for him and his child. I know it.

COPA

 

[New Leaf]

Hi Tish, just wanted to let you know I have been reading through your thread and wanted to offer support. This is such a tough situation and you are handling it with courage, grace and love.
I am constantly amazed by my fellow warriors here on CD.
Keep standing strong, and hang in there. I am praying that things work out for your family.
(((HUGS)))
leafy

 

[tishthedish]

I think the program we are looking into is our state's equivalent to Regional Program. Thanks for all the support.