exhausted
Active Member
So we had family session yesterday at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and it went well...with a glitch. They have placed my daughter on what they call "trays". She is given her meals in a styrofoam box, and has to walk down to the cafeteria with the other girls, box in hand, then wait for the others to get their chosen meals from the line.
A 25 year old "bouncer" (I call them this-the less educated watch people on duty), decided my daughter was her "project" and went to the nurse to get an order to put her on a diet. I never recieved a phone call and her therapist did not even know. My daughter was told it was too expensive to give her seconds. (I could get behind not giving anyone seconds-they don't need it if the meal is balanced and porpotioned) She knew (because she is intellegent) what it really was. She even said, "Don't insult my intellegence. Why don't you tell me the truth and why didn't you ask me if I was willing to work on losing weight?"
Every girl in this place is overweight. Most have been sexually abused and this is a very common thing that happens to them-putting on weight to "protect", and hide themselves. She is the only one singled out. I guess the bouncer is really on my daughter and we have actually had some pretty horrible experiences with her-she assumes we are bad parents, and treats us like we are trash.
My daughter is active and she at least eats balanced-she is a veggie eater, and not a picky, carb. eater.
We did work out that she would get to talk to this "bouncer" with her therapist in the room as support. My daughter tried to talk to her alone and the girl threatened to take away points. I want difficult child to advocate for herself and not be a victom, so I'm glad she is doing this-but...I'm also mad that she had not told her therapist. I had to tell her how upset my daughter had been on phone call each night for the last week.If she doesn't use her skills-she will end up relapsing again.
I'm furious that it was done without my involvement. The kid has a thyroid problem and possibly polycytic ovarian disease-losing weight is hell. When she is emotionally in a better place, she loses weight much easier. I also think that getting her on- board by offering her a chance to work on weight would have been respectful. I'm madder still that yesterdays breakfast was toast and jam! I would never feed my kids that as their breakfast. Before, she had a choice of fruits, yogurt, and cereals.
No matter how the talk goes with my difficult child and the bouncer, I feel I have to speak my mind and talk to the director. I just can't get behind the humiliation of her having to carry a box down and wait for the other girls and I can't get behind the belittling things this bouncer says to my daughter as she yells at her to hustle and walk faster, jump higher, sweat more. Please tell me I'm not crazy! Rant finished for now!
A 25 year old "bouncer" (I call them this-the less educated watch people on duty), decided my daughter was her "project" and went to the nurse to get an order to put her on a diet. I never recieved a phone call and her therapist did not even know. My daughter was told it was too expensive to give her seconds. (I could get behind not giving anyone seconds-they don't need it if the meal is balanced and porpotioned) She knew (because she is intellegent) what it really was. She even said, "Don't insult my intellegence. Why don't you tell me the truth and why didn't you ask me if I was willing to work on losing weight?"
Every girl in this place is overweight. Most have been sexually abused and this is a very common thing that happens to them-putting on weight to "protect", and hide themselves. She is the only one singled out. I guess the bouncer is really on my daughter and we have actually had some pretty horrible experiences with her-she assumes we are bad parents, and treats us like we are trash.
My daughter is active and she at least eats balanced-she is a veggie eater, and not a picky, carb. eater.
We did work out that she would get to talk to this "bouncer" with her therapist in the room as support. My daughter tried to talk to her alone and the girl threatened to take away points. I want difficult child to advocate for herself and not be a victom, so I'm glad she is doing this-but...I'm also mad that she had not told her therapist. I had to tell her how upset my daughter had been on phone call each night for the last week.If she doesn't use her skills-she will end up relapsing again.
I'm furious that it was done without my involvement. The kid has a thyroid problem and possibly polycytic ovarian disease-losing weight is hell. When she is emotionally in a better place, she loses weight much easier. I also think that getting her on- board by offering her a chance to work on weight would have been respectful. I'm madder still that yesterdays breakfast was toast and jam! I would never feed my kids that as their breakfast. Before, she had a choice of fruits, yogurt, and cereals.
No matter how the talk goes with my difficult child and the bouncer, I feel I have to speak my mind and talk to the director. I just can't get behind the humiliation of her having to carry a box down and wait for the other girls and I can't get behind the belittling things this bouncer says to my daughter as she yells at her to hustle and walk faster, jump higher, sweat more. Please tell me I'm not crazy! Rant finished for now!