GFGmom Retired @ 46 against everyone's advice. ,,,.how dumb is that?

[DDD]

Donna, as I understand it she was able to take the State retirement funds and transfer it into a private program of some sort that is being "handled" by Ex's friend. She did contribute to the funds. I think they recently changed the contribution rules. Oh well, the consequences are hers. DDD

 

[DaisyFace]

Hmmm....

What do you wanna bet that the "friend" has some sort of a scheme about the retirement funds?

I remember that husband had a "friend" a few years back who offered to get HUGE tax refunds for everyone he knew. husband wisely declined - even as other folks were bragging to us about their returns for a few years... Sure enough, everybody was audited and "friend" was caught by IRS and I lost track of what happened to him after that. Of course, he wasn't really a friend in the first place, so....not my problem.

 

[DDD]

GFGmom does not need someone to aide and abet her. She's a piece of work, lol. DDD

 

[Steely]

Again...just want to say I am sorry....what a blanking week are having.....geez....no words, only sending peace and strength your way.

 

[susiestar]

Seems like a stupid crazy move to me. Being a difficult child with a real gift for getting by with scamming the system, she might actually work it out until she realizes that working as a nurse is HARD work and can be very unpleasant - plus she will be dealing with people who can tell her no or make a report of things she does and those people will stand a good chance of being believed (patients and patients families after she gets her degree and a job). Not like inmates who are often not believed no matter what.

I am glad you have some detachment, you sure need it right now. I would NOT take the Warden's word as definitely saying that she can come back (if she actually spoke to him - you just never know with a difficult child). He stated a fact - they always need experienced people. He did NOT say that they would welcome her back.

Having once erased that CO/inmate line, it would be totally expected that she has done it many more times. Just like if you start a relationship with a married man and he leaves his wife for you, he is NOT going to stay faithful 99% of the time - he is going to cheat on you like he did on the previous wife. So she may likely be in a position to be allowed to quit or to be fired. Even MORE likely, some other CO or inmate knows that she has been involved with one or more inmates in the past, maybe in the present and they are holding it over her head and she thinks if seh can get away from the prison then she can escape the blackmail or whatever. Just seems more logical than suddenly quitting her job to go to nursing school with-o even knowing if she will get into nursing school.
Whatever happens, I am sorry you have to be aware of her conflama.

 

[donna723]

Susie, that's kind of what I was wondering too. If something like that is going on, I can guarantee you that at least some of the other inmates knew about it. And if they know, they WILL use that information to their advantage, holding it over your head to get you to bring contraband in to them or to get you to bend the rules or look the other way. In our system I'm not sure if someone who did this would be given the option to resign, I think they would be fired. Anything the warden did or didn't say verbally really is irrevelant. Wardens are switched from one institution to another all the time. I think this is mostly the same everywhere - when someone leaves, whether they quit, are terminated, or they retire, there's a little box on the forms that they check to indicate whether the person is or is not eligible for rehire. If they check "No", you are pretty much blacklisted from ever working for the State again.

 

[DDD]

To clarify she worked for the State at prison #1 for a couple of years. Moved to private #2 where she got a better shift and a little more money. Her "friend" was near release and he convinced her he had been wrongly convicted. He got out and came to this town....and into her home. They did not "do" anything at the prison. She, however, went back to the State and was rehired at #1 where she has been there for nine years or more. The two lived together for two years, she got pg. and he split. They reunited after the baby was born which lasted on and off for a few more years. The private prison was an hour away from here so she never ran into anybody from there. That's why there were no consequences to her actions because she is a clever "sneaky snake" type. DDD

 

[DammitJanet]

On a side note about the retirement funds. When I had to retire from county govt when I became disabled, they wouldnt let me retire as disabled, I had to quit so that just left me in a bind. No unemployment or anything but I was sick and my mom was sick. I had to take both my 401 and my retirement out and yes I took a hit taxwise but there was nothing else I could do...I had to have money to live on.

Now...I am wondering if after all gfgmom's health issues this year, do you think maybe she is thinking of applying for disability? That would make much more sense than this simple retirement and nursing school situation. I dont think she would tell you that either right off the bat. I think you will hear gradually about illnesses or problems she is having. Suddenly coming down with adhd herself and how she couldnt do her job anymore. Too impulsive. Her legs are hurting her...etc.

 

[DDD]

I kinda doubt it Janet. She had successful knee surgery, a hysterectomy and an ankle problem that was resolved. She has been ADHD all her life. There's no telling. I just know that her insurance runs out 10/1 and although I had asked her months ago when I first heard about "her plan" and she told me she had found good cheap insurance...this week she told me that her insurance premium would jump to $1500 which she couldn't afford. All her assurances about all the "careful" planning for the future is bunk. difficult child#2 takes three medications a day and needs them to function. Her nine year old daughter is a carbon copy ++ of her childhood ADHD and takes two medications a day. difficult child#1 has been covered by her insurance which has eased our burden. She has had all the above plus she had surgery to have her ?? (can't remember what it's called) stomach banded. That surgery everyone tried to talk her out of having because everyone knew she wouldn't be able to keep up the limited diet. She was convinced that was the answer for her obesity and "knew" she would stick with it. Not. It's absurd and sad and plain old bad news that she impacts so many lives. Wouldn't you just love to have her as your RN? OMG! DDD

 

[DammitJanet]

OMG...she got the lapband too! Im crying here. I wanted that sooooo bad and they wouldnt give it to me when I had BCBS and had a chinamans chance in heck of actually being able to continuing to work if I had been able to lose enough weight to get it off my joints all those years ago. I probably wouldnt be this bad today.

 

[donna723]

Janet, I think the sad fact is that your insurance company gets to decide whether you have this surgery, not your doctor, and that just stinks!

I had a friend at work who had to just beg for this surgery! He tried everything under the sun to lose weight and he just couldn't do it. He was an older man and very heavy, his joints were bad and he had a hard time just walking. Our parking lot at work was on a slope so you have to walk up a big hill just to get to the building and it hurt just to watch him. We were all so afraid for him that one day he wouldn't make it and his life was really in danger. Despite all the recommendations from his doctor, the insurance company turned him down time after time. After FIVE LONG YEARS and countless requests from his doctor, they finally agreed to pay for his surgery! He did well and lost quite a bit of weight. He's still not "thin" but he's able to get around so much better now and his weight is no longer a danger to his health. Sad but true, the insurance companies run the show and make the decisions now, not the doctors.