GOING INSANE

[angelaincali]

I am a mother of 2 beautiful boys, Peyton 10 and Tyler 3. Peyton was diagnosed at 5 with the ADHD. Now 10, he is violent, aggressive, rude, and just an all around BRAT! I know I shouldnt say that about my own child but I dont know what to do anymore....I NEED HELP!!! I have been doing research and self diagnosing the ODD. He was just diagnosed with depression and is on 2 medications now. Concerta and Celexa. I get a call/e-mail almost everyday from his school. He has either hit someone or just refuses to do anything. His teacher literally has to physically remove him from the classroom and carry him to the principals office where he goes and sits and refuses to talk.
Just recently my 3y/o got kicked out of child care due to trying to be like big brother....(PLEASE GOD NO, I COULDNT HANDLE ANOTHER) I try not to let them "mingle" to much together so the younger one doesnt pick up all the bad habbits but I cant live like this forever. It is a battle everyday, morning, noon and night with my 10 y/o. All of these programs for ADHD/ODD cost aprox $4K-6K a month. So.....this is another attemp to try to find help and know that I am not the only parent out there that is having these problems.

 

[Mickey2255]

I just finished posting myself and yours popped up! I'm not so good at the advice but I can offer empathy - my son is 10 and ADHD/ODD also taking Concerta (but no depression). He was suspended for 2 days for kicking a kid till his leg bled (I'm still wondering why the kid didn't move and how you do that wearing rubber snow boots but I digress) was back in school for 2 days and then suspended for 3 more which turned into 4 since there was a snow day in the middle of that. Yup, you aren't the only one that gets called a lot and my son even told them this last time, "Yes, I was violet and that's all you need to know about what happened". Ahem.

So does your son have an IEP? What about a behavior intervention plan? Has he been evaluated at school? Public or private school? Do they know he's diagnosis'd ADHD? These are key questions for the really good people on this list to be able to help you.

Good luck - you certainly aren't alone!
Michelle

 

[angelaincali]

We just did an IEP at the begining of the school year. Supposedly (also thankful for) he doesnt have any learning disabilities per say but he refuses to use his brain and CAN NOT sit still for 5 seconds to do any work. Every night we start home work at 6pm and 90% of the time do not complete it until around 9pm. I am working on getting him a 504 plan (which his teacher already does for me) He takes 54mg of the concerta and 5mg of celexa for depression. I myself dont think he is depressed but I do however think he is ODD. He has not been diagnosis'd with the ODD yet. The school therapist works with me as well as his teacher. They are very proactive in helping my son. He seems to do a little better when his classroom setting is with a MAX of 5 kids but he is still aggressive. He was recently suspended for 1 week for brining a knife to school (one only knows where he found it)He says he found it at school but he is also a pathological liar so I cant beleive anything he tells me and Monday he punched a GIRL in the face. I could video tape my son doing these things and he would tell me it wasnt him or they made him do it. My home is always in chaos......HELP!!!

 

[SRL]

Welcome angelaincali. I'd suggest copying your two posts and repeating them over on the General board. There's a lot more going on here than just school needs and hopefully you can get those addressed here on the sped board.

Did you see any changes when you started Celexa? Side effects of Celexa include hyperactivity and irritability (which can translate into anger control problems and aggression). These side effects can hit hard soon after starting or gradually increase so be warned on that. When my kiddo came off the Celexa I couldn't believe how much the medication had impacted those two areas.

I do think there is far more going on here than ADHD. What type of specialist did the assessment?

 

[angelaincali]

How do you find any peace with ODD? I think I am going to have a stroke everyday from anger. ha Is there treatment for ODD? Are there state funded programs/schools for kids with ADHD/ODD? I am in the Air Force and can not afford $6K a month. One would think the military would provide some assistance but I have not found any. I am desperate!

 

[angelaincali]

I dont know how to do that??? Still trying to figure this all out.

 

[Mickey2255]

Fortunately, we do have peaceful periods but I truly believe much of that comes from "picking our battles". We have definitely found that the more anger we exhibit, the more we get. We only go after the stuff that is totally non-negotiable because we know we will have a battle.

Michelle

 

[angelaincali]

I have not noticed any changes with the celexa. I have noticed that I get more e-mails and more phone calls about my son being more aggressive now.

 

[Sheila]

Hi angelaincali

If your son already has an IEP he is automatically covered under 504.

If the medication is making things worse, it's not the right medication. If he's not under the care of a psychiatrist specializing in pediatrics, you may want to consider it.

 

[svengandhi]

Is he in counseling? Has his behavior worsened since his dad was deployed? Maybe he is feeling anxiety and fear over that situation, since he is old enough to be somewhat aware that people are dying where his daddy is but not old enough or mature enough to really verbalize it? I might be totally off base, but all my other ideas have already been mentioned.

 

[CSE Member]

Angela -

I understand that they provide counseling, evaluations, testing, services, Special Education, etc. to help dependent children and families.

Good luck

Rick

 

[Martie]

Hello,

Welcome to our world....In this corner of it, we do "school issues" but on the general board, you will get many suggestions to help you manage.

I would suggest you get a copy of The Explosive child and read it several times. It helped me get control of my own anger with my ex-difficult child. MANY parents on these boards have found this book to be helpful. It may also be helpful to remember a couple of things:

1) Your son is very unhappy even if he does not appear depressed to you....irritability is a "depressive equivalent" for many boys his age (and older)
2) If he could change, he would. He does not want to be this way but may be using ODD as his "last defense" against his own scary feelings that he cannot keep control of himself.
3) You need support...if the Mom is not OK, no one is OK.

There is no specific drug Tx for ODD but medication management of other symptoms (chiefly ADHD and depression) can be very helpful. ODD can be a stand-alone diagnosis but rarely is in a child your son's age.

Finally, some kids get worse in adolescence but others DO emerge from adolescence relatively OK....several of the moderators on these boards, including me, have children who are functioning much better as young adults than anyone would have predicted at age 10 or 12. Do not give up on your son because you are your child's first, best, and sometimes, only advocate.

These boards are filled with warrior parents and you can be one too if you self-educate (even more than you already have) and take care of yourself first.

Martie :warrior:

 

[looking4hope]

angelaincali:

You didn't mention if your son has an IEP. It sounds like it, but if not, get one. If he has an ADHD diagnosis from a child psychiatrist, that will help. If the school district has not yet tested him for learning disorders or behaviors that impede learning, ask them in writing to do so. Specifically, state the problems that your son is having, and ask for the testing already mentioned AND a complete psychological profile. They have to respond within 30 school days (excludes weekends and days school is not in session).

If your son has a mood disorder that is comorbid with ADHD then the stimulants (like Concerta) can cause irritability and aggression. This was the case with my son. The situation is much better since we switched to Strattera. Bring this up with your doctor.

Like the other posters here, I agree that he needs to be seen by a child psychiatrist and a therapist. You may also want to get him evaluated by your county mental health as well, as there are resources available through them. The special day class my son goes to is a joint venture between the county office of education and the county mental health department. It's for DSM-IV diagnosed kids and has only 8 - 10 students, with two teachers, two aides and an on-site psychotherapist three days a week. He gets intensive behavior modification therapy in a classroom setting, and I don't pay a dime. His IEP allows for this type of education.

in my opinion, your son needs to be in a different situation and out of a regular classroom. As a teacher, it's hard to teach a class that is continually disrupted, and we both know your son isn't learning anything. Talk to the school counselor and the principal, and find out what you need to do to get your son into a better learning situation. Good luck!