Good news for a change

[Terryforvols]

Am with you, Kathy!! Sometimes mine has zero concept of $$ and sacrifice! Ughhhh!

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[Signorina]

Good news about the job, and boo about her sense of entitlement.

I hate when a step forward comes with- a half a step back. Sigh

 

[toughlovin]

That is annoying..... I must say one thing about my difficult child having lived on the streets for awhile is he is a lot less elitest... and is more appreciative of the things we do give him. On Tuesday night he said he knew we would probably say no but try not to be too harsh in our now... but could we get him a jacket or put him up for the night? i said I would get him his jacket!! LOL... of course that was complicated and didnt happen.... but I did not get the past reaction of somehow we owe him something!

So being on the streets works on the elitist stuff.... but is definitely not a recommended solution for that problem.

TL


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[nlj]

I am really angry with my difficult child. We sent her a box for her birthday with two tops that I bought at Walmart and a $50 gift card for Marshalls/TJ Max since she keeps saying that she doesn't have any clothes that fit as she has gained weight.
She called husband last night after she got the box and complained that she was hoping for a better present.
difficult child is just an entitled brat. I guess she doesn't consider the $1000 a month we have been paying for rent and food as a gift.

Sometimes you just have to laugh don't you...
Somehow no other response is appropriate.

 

[Kathy813]

At least she is self-aware. I told her recently that she has Lord & Taylor taste on a Walmart budget. She laughed and agreed.

 

[Nancy]

Kathy you know my fingers are crossed for your difficult child. And I would be so darned angry about that call too. It's probably a good thing your husband got it.

 

[lovemysons]

Boy I sure understand the ungrateful attitude as we get it too.
Just yesterday I talked to my young difficult child and he stated that "I do not want unsupportive people in our lives". Meaning, if we are not doing/giving this that and the other to him...we are not being supportive and what good are we then! I reminded him of all the support we have given over the past 7 yrs (since he was 18) plus some.

Oh, and today is husband's birthday so I asked difficult child by text..."What are you getting dad for his birthday?"
LOL as if. He hasn't even responded...nice huh.

One day, some day...hopefully all of our difficult child's will have a moment of clarity and thank us! That would be SO nice.
...sigh, I'm probably dreaming. lol

hugs Kathy,
LMS

 

[Childofmine]

And we could say: "I don't want people who break the law and mooch off other people in my life."

So where are we, with all of our "wants", difficult child?

But I guess we have to be more mature than that, right? But it's awfully tempting sometimes, to give as good as we get.

 

[Nomad]

I think it was kind of you to get her the tops. So loving....you knew she needed them, etc. I read an article once that said all difficult child's have one thing in common: un gratefulness!

Hard to believe she is 29. Do you think it has any meaning for her at all!

Glad she got a job...and so quickly too.

You've been through a LOT!

 

[Kathy813]

And she just as quickly lost the job . . 9 days start to finish. We also found out that she was still drug seeking by going to doctors and getting xanax and ambien prescriptions that no one knew about.

Just when the you know what was about to hit the fan, she managed to be diagnosed (through an ER visit and subsequent two day stay in the hospital) with pancreatitis and needs to have her gall bladder removed through outpatient surgery.

I have pretty much washed my hands of her. I will only talk to her now during family therapy calls and she keeps cancelling those.

~Kathy

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I am so sorry Kathy. You truly have done all you can do and then some...she is a grown woman and has to figure life out...

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[Terryforvols]

So sorry. It never ends.

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[in a daze]

So difficult. Prayers for you.

 

[Nomad]

Sweet.......

Who knows if and when it will end and this is why it is an EXCELLENT idea for you to set up and keep your boundaries...as you have indicated.


I'm so sorry.

 

[Childofmine]

Kathy I am so sorry. The ups and the downs are so hard to deal with.

We learn a little more every time about ourselves and what we need to do next, right now. The next right thing for us.

And we never know what good things may be ahead for us and for difficult child.

I just am sorry for your disappointment and stand with you in your decision to set new boundaries.

Warm hugs for you.


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[Nancy]

I'm sorry Kathy. It's so discouraging.

 

[Kathy813]

Honestly, Nancy, most of the time I don't even think about her anymore. I am completely at peace with the knowledge that I have done everything that I can do and that it is totally up to her now.

A year of therapy has helped me come a long way.

~Kathy

 

[Nancy]

Kathy the power that we get back from claiming our lives back is enormous. I still remember the time I stopped spending most of my day thinking about my difficult child, and as time went on the percentage got smaller and smaller. And there does come a peace with knowing we have done everything we can and there is nothing left for us to do. It was the day I came to the realization that my power over her was zero but the power I had over my life was all mine.

 

[lovemysons]

Kathy, I understand.
I am not taking my difficult child's calls right now.
He was rather hateful the last time we talked. No doubt still using either pain medications or alcohol.

We're too old for this stuff!...THEY'RE too old too!!!
LMS