Hi I am new and need help, my wife and I are at our wits end

[Jim]

He does sound like a good kid who has some issues Jim. Sounds like he has some good parents too.

When I read your latest posts it brought me back to some renewal credit courses I took for my last teaching license. I decided an area of weakness of mine (I had always worked in Special Education) was gifted and talented education. I took four classes. (I had some kids on my case load who had aspergers but also qualified for gifted and talented programs so thought I should improve my understanding of this area, not that classes teach everything but it was a start....)

You know what I came away with???? Gifted and Talented teaching is MUCH like special education. Kids can have many of the same social and functioning issues. The planning for them requires the same level of individualized accommodations as for kids who are below average. It was all really fascinating to me. your grand-dad sounds like he fits that mold to a T. Just made me think of it when I read your posts. I am sure it is obvious to you, but I still find it interesting. (makes common sense, but I just didn't really study and think so deeply about it before).

Yes Granddad was a peculiar fellow, sweat as pie though, he died of complications of Parkinson's, thats where my apprehension of dopamine blocking medications comes from, he was a cross between Einstein and the TV character "Monk".

Thank You on the Parenting compliment Buddy, as all of you are, we are trying, and love our kids dearly and just want the best for them.
Our son has the potential for anything he sets out to do, everything he actually does do he masters in record time, I just wish he would realize the gift he has been given and run with it.

Our daughter is average maybe slightly below scholastically, but gives it her best shot and is a social butterfly, she is my baby girl and I adore her.


jim

 

[InsaneCdn]

There are some really good books out there on "exceptional children" - and that covers everything beyond "average".
Smart, mentally handicapped, extreme social talent, extreme math talent, extreme no talent...

Anybody who is outside those parameters that are considered "average"... have major problems one way or the other.
Even Einstein had major problems.

 

[Jim]

There are some really good books out there on "exceptional children" - and that covers everything beyond "average".
Smart, mentally handicapped, extreme social talent, extreme math talent, extreme no talent...

Anybody who is outside those parameters that are considered "average"... have major problems one way or the other.
Even Einstein had major problems.

Thanks Insane, I have been searching and ordering, by the time I'm done I will have a library on the subject.

Wasn't Einstein a cocaine addict? proof positive that intelligent people do stupid things.

I am learning the difference here my son is intelligent but not smart.
I am smart, I attended school, worked my whole life, obeyed the law, did not hurt others, found compassion in others sorrow, have respect for others regardless of if they worked for me or me for them, and above all didn't do stupid things that would be detrimental to my well being.

I can say first hand you don't have to launch rockets to obtain those qualities. lol

I'll trade common sense for all the IQ in the world.

jim

 

[buddy]

yes, we say IQ and EQ... IQ high/EQ (emotional quotient) not so much, smile

 

[lovelyboy]

Jim....I read your answer to my post.....but I still wonder....did any one ever mentioned Asperger/ Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) or autism spectrum disorder with your son? Did you ever investigated that option? When you say his granddad was a bit strange as well...it even makes me wonder more....and also this intelligent but not smart....Often these kids 'just don't get it?"

 

[TerryJ2]

I was thinking that, too, Lovelyboy. The possibility is there.

Wasn't Einstein a cocaine addict?
Really? I had no idea.

 

[lovelyboy]

Terry...I dont know about cocaine addict, but they think he might have been an Aspie?!

 

[InsaneCdn]

Wasn't Einstein a cocaine addict?
Really? I had no idea.

I hadn't heard THAT part, either.
But... he definitely had traits of various developmental conditions - there have been suggestions of anything from extreme ADHD to Aspergers/Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD).
If he DID use cocaine, the ADHD diagnosis might even make sense... because it is a drug-of-choice among people with unmedicated ADHD.

Even if Asperger's/Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) been suggested and "written off", I'd have to wonder if there isn't some "not otherwise specified"-flavor of a disorder, perhaps even Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified... the "not otherwise specified" being what the doctors use when overall, a person has a certain family of traits, but not the specific groupings that would allow for a more "defined" diagnosis.

 

[Jim]

Jim....I read your answer to my post.....but I still wonder....did any one ever mentioned Asperger/ Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) or autism spectrum disorder with your son? Did you ever investigated that option? When you say his granddad was a bit strange as well...it even makes me wonder more....and also this intelligent but not smart....Often these kids 'just don't get it?"

Evaluation said odd, add some violence and its cd, the shrink wants us to do another IQ test, I told him 130 at ten years old he was guessing closer to 150+ XXX would not take it for him, he seams to think the more intelligent the harder he will be to crack, I don't know if thats right he has only seen this one psychiatrist, his psychologist, seems to be more in tune with him, but tends to agree with him to much if you ask me

He don't get it is an understatement.......................of course this is speculation

"Einstien's blood was tested after his death. The autopsy showed traces of LSD as well as Dimethyl-triptimene (DMT)

In 1955, Albert Einstein died from his heart exploding 'burst aortic aneurysm' which could have easily been caused by years of cocaine use in conjunction with his age at that time as cocaine users are found to have more than four times the risk of coronary artery aneurysms than non cocaine users as per the Journal of the American Heart Association."

 

[busywend]

Book smart, not street smart. He may always struggle with what we consider social norms.

He may always be 'different' and it is OK.

 

[tiredmommy]

We haven't had Duckie's IQ officially tested, but it's been estimated as quite high. I don't want her to think she can hold an arbitrary number up and say "Gee I'm smart" whilst doing really stupid things. Functioning is what counts. My older brother and I were each tested as children (I was 8, he was 11). My father received the scores: 127 and 130. He never told us which one had the higher score because he felt it would create problems between us. Personally, I think I was the 127 because I function better. My older brother can be scary smart but seems to lack an ability to see the big picture. Your son actually reminds me of my brother.

We just hope Duckie chooses to use her powers for good and not evil, lol!

 

[buddy]

Evaluation said odd, add some violence and its cd, the shrink wants us to do another IQ test, I told him 130 at ten years old he was guessing closer to 150+ XXX would not take it for him, he seams to think the more intelligent the harder he will be to crack, I don't know if thats right he has only seen this one psychiatrist, his psychologist, seems to be more in tune with him, but tends to agree with him to much if you ask me

He don't get it is an understatement.......................of course this is speculation

NOT saying this IS the case, but for sake of what many have experienced, kids with ADHD, Asperger's, Autism (high functioning), Bipolar etc... MANY can easily also meet criteria for ODD and some for CD. Kids with Asperger's or as IC said, even those who are more "not otherwise specified" just have traits of Autism-like things, may have the parts that include not being able to fully see how other people feel and not able to relate to the fact that their actions have an impact on others. The world revolves around them not because they FEEL entitled, but because they are wired that way.

I know two and have met a few other people who are functioning adults (have families and jobs) who finally after years of struggling through school and family drama, being "treated" for behavior problems ended up with a diagnosis of Asperger's. (my friend's hubby got a diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified....he would discuss the same topics every time we had a get together and it was very self serving, but not mean.... so for example would talk about his salary and then go around and ask everyone how much they made etc....a few less mature friends would behind his back imitate him because it was so predictable. My friend was ready to have an affair, he was so selfish in private moments if you know what I mean. They ARE together now....they have worked out a way to live with this and have two grown successful kids).

Again, not saying this is your case but I can see how on this board, given what we all have shared and having even members here have kids later diagnosis with some form of autism after years of another diagnosis (usually more behaviorally based label but some with a mood/chemically based diagnosis)..... I can see how the question would arise. So it is truly not doubting your experience or conclusions....(we only get a small picture of each other here after all), but simply to offer an option or to open other therapeutic doors...just in case.


OH by the way, my personal bias.... IQ tests... not thrilled with them BUT that said... what would be more beneficial in my world (planning for kids and helping to develop goals etc...) is the patterns of strengths versus relative weaknesses (he is probably not WEAK in ANY area...but meaning is he more of a visual versus an auditory learner etc.). Those kinds of patterns can really be beneficial in therapy, education and differential diagnosis.