homeless daughter and drama

Ylowbutterfly

New Member
I guess it just comes down to each of us getting so sick and tired of dealing with their chaos that we say enough is enough.

Being strong is so hard and not enable, tonight after I took my daughter food I told her I néed a break for couple days, I am mentally and physically drained from her daily drama...I am the only family member she reaches out to and I am losing my mind with the daily drama
 

Weary Mother

WEARY MOTHER
I so appreciate all the posts here and cannot tell you all how much it has help me. The current status of this is that my daughter now has found a job, although she has not received a starting date yet, and has applied for medical help for her diabetes and other medical issues, some of which had been made worse last year by meth use. She has not cared for herself in a long time, living with an adult daughter and alternatively with a meth addicted boyfriend with violence issues (police had been called several times due to physical fights). Her cell phone has been turned off which is upsetting, as she is trying to move forward. But she has a temporary place to stay and is working at moving forward, with a lot of anxiety. Thanks for all your help.
 

Albatross

Well-Known Member
I am glad she has a place to stay and a job, JH. I hope her job and her medical assistance come through soon. It sounds like she is trying. We never know which time will be the time they "get it." I am hoping this is the one.
 

Kalahou

Well-Known Member
Somewhere on here there is a story about a butterfly that I just love. Maybe someone can help us find it so you can read it. ....
I could use it again myself right now....
Is this the "butterfly" story you remembered? (pasted below. )
It was previously posted by @Tanya M on this thread: http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/thats-how-they-grow.60074/#ixzz4ESf3DYoL
-------------------------
Struggle is Good! I Want to Fly!

Once a little boy was playing outdoors and found a fascinating caterpillar. He carefully picked it up and took it home to show his mother. He asked his mother if he could keep it, and she said he could if he would take good care of it.

The little boy got a large jar from his mother and put plants to eat, and a stick to climb on, in the jar. Every day he watched the caterpillar and brought it new plants to eat.

One day the caterpillar climbed up the stick and started acting strangely. The boy worriedly called his mother who came and understood that the caterpillar was creating a cocoon. The mother explained to the boy how the caterpillar was going to go through a metamorphosis and become a butterfly.

The little boy was thrilled to hear about the changes his caterpillar would go through. He watched every day, waiting for the butterfly to emerge. One day it happened, a small hole appeared in the cocoon and the butterfly started to struggle to come out.

At first the boy was excited, but soon he became concerned. The butterfly was struggling so hard to get out! It looked like it couldn’t break free! It looked desperate! It looked like it was making no progress!

The boy was so concerned he decided to help. He ran to get scissors, and then walked back (because he had learned not to run with scissors…). He snipped the cocoon to make the hole bigger and the butterfly quickly emerged!

As the butterfly came out the boy was surprised. It had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. He continued to watch the butterfly expecting that, at any moment, the wings would dry out, enlarge and expand to support the swollen body. He knew that in time the body would shrink and the butterfly’s wings would expand.

But neither happened!

The butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.

It never was able to fly…

As the boy tried to figure out what had gone wrong his mother took him to talk to a scientist from a local college. He learned that the butterfly was SUPPOSED to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly. The boy’s good intentions hurt the butterfly.

As you go through life, keep in mind that struggling is an important part of any growth experience. In fact, it is the struggle that causes you to develop your ability to fly.

As Parents our gift to you is stronger wings…
 
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Kalahou

Well-Known Member
Hello jodieh,
I'm just getting to catch up on this thread to let you know I am following along. I see your great strength and also weariness. We all understand here, dear. You are not alone. You have received some heart felt wisdom in the others' responses here. It is time to let go, but yes, it is so hard, so draining, so wearying to deal with the never-ending drama. I feel so physically tired of it also. It is not good for our health.

I can tell you have the true insight into your situation and understand about not enabling, but I understand how sad it seems to know that your daughter has no other support systems.
Hopefully, your latest news of a job for her and place she can stay will at least give you a break to be able to stand back for a while and .... slow ... way ... down... and just BREATHE and find a moment of calmness for yourself.

Another member on this site ( @Scent of Cedar * ) once posted a phrase I took as a prayer manta. She said "There is nothing you need to do." Maybe you can take that to heart for a few moments now and then when the anxious confusion starts to build up and chaos is threatening. "There is nothing you need to do..." Just Breathe ...

I am glad you found our little corner here to find some comfort and safety. Stay with us. Read the others' threads to find more guidance and truth, encouragement and support ~ learned the hard ways from experience.
You are going to be alright. ~ Kalahou
 
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Weary Mother

WEARY MOTHER
Hello jodieh,
I'm just getting to catch up on this thread to let you know I am following along. I see your great strength and also weariness. We all understand here, dear. You are not alone. You have received some heart felt wisdom in the others' responses here. It is time to let go, but yes, it is so hard, so draining, so wearying to deal with the never-ending drama. I feel so physically tired of it also. It is not good for our health.

I can tell you have the true insight into your situation and understand about not enabling, but I understand how sad it seems to know that your daughter has no other support systems.
Hopefully, your latest news of a job for her and place she can stay will at least give you a break to be able to stand back for a while and .... slow ... way ... down... and just BREATHE and find a moment of calmness for yourself.

Another member on this site ( @Scent of Cedar * ) once posted a phrase I took as a prayer manta. She said "There is nothing you need to do." Maybe you can take that to heart for a few moments now and then when the anxious confusion starts to build up and chaos is threatening. "There is nothing you need to do..." Just Breathe ...

I am glad you found our little corner here to find some comfort and safety. Stay with us. Read the others' threads to find more guidance and truth, encouragement and support ~ learned the hard ways from experience.
You are going to be alright. ~ Kalahou
Thank you so much, I am truely trying to understand that I can do nothing, contrary to my normal fix it and take care of it mode!!
 

Weary Mother

WEARY MOTHER
I am glad she has a place to stay and a job, JH. I hope her job and her medical assistance come through soon. It sounds like she is trying. We never know which time will be the time they "get it." I am hoping this is the one.
Thank you so much. she started her job today, after a saturday orientation. It is just a grocery store at minium wage but absolutely a start. Thanks for your input!1
 
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