Honest opinion about wiping and reaction...

[SnowAngel]

I have problems with my three boys. I posted signs in the bathroom behind the toilet and on the opposite wall, either way standing or sitting you see them. They are simple reminders for those who forget:

Sit down
Wipe
Flush
Wash hands with soap

This helps. I also reward with stickers or helping make desert if I notice they have followed the rules.

 

[branbran]

Oh please, my easy child son is 6 years old and I still wipe his butt!!! Mrs. M is just feeling a bit stupid because she should have helped your 3 year old and she didn't and you called her on it. There is no possible way all of her 3 year old students wipe their own butts!!!! My easy child son went into pre-k at 4 years old not even fully potty trained, and he wasn't the only one. Don't even worry about it, it's her mistake and instead of owning up to it, she would rather make you feel neglegent. I just hate people like that.

Good luck. :smile:

 

[TerryJ2]

been there done that.
Just wanted to lend support.
Plus, little kids' arms are very short. Really.

 

[Sharon1974]

My easy child is 4 and I still wipe her after she poops. She was also hospitalized over a severe Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) and had to have an ultrasound. Her Pre-K teacher helps her wipe in the bathroom. I think it is crazy that a teacher of 3 year olds wouldn't help. All thoes kids must be going home with dirty butts! I would get some literature from my doctor's office and share it with the teacher. That way she would know that she is endangering your child't health by not helping her wipe.

 

[tiredmommy]

Totoro,
Duckie's school recommends that ALL students have a change of clothing in their locker. The school nurse also has a stash of donated items in her office. This is so an issue like an accident or a bad spill is taken care of quickly and the student can get back to learning.

 

[Star*]

WELL......if you need a little ammo....

You can tell her that you have a friend who has a son that is 17 and encopretic on demand. Maybe she's got poop a phobia?

I would take some disposable latex gloves in a bag, bottom wipes, with a change of clothes to leave there for accidents. I did it with my son in every day care, and the gloves seemed to make the difference if they were going to help(um...when he was little that is)

Sorry you had a poopy day.

 

[Andrea Danielle]

You have already heard a lot of support on this but just to say that my difficult child still needs help too. It is hard for them.

Andrea

 

[susiestar]

I cannot believe the Montessori teacher actually said that! It reminds me of my oldest telling me that "everyone has game system X and is allowed to play games rated mature" when he was in 1st grade. We (Parents) know that these kind of blanket statements are pretty much manipulation or reaction to being guilty of something.

Provide wipes, let her know that SHE said it was not a problem to have help with potty training.

Providing gloves is a good and kind idea. When my children were in daycare the staff ALWAYS used gloves when changing diapers or helping in the bathroom. (I think it was a health dept regulation). If it is any consolation my son was part of the reason they installed a very high shelf to keep the gloves in the bathroom. He got a bunch and stuffed wet (not peed on) TP in them. Then he and 4 other boys installed the stuffed purple gloves in their flies, with the fingers sticking out!!!! :rofl: :slap:

Developmentally, the books I read on potty training said that accidents are common in children up to about 8yo, esp in boys. Around age 5-6 they have more accidents because they are in a huge learning leap. They get so cought up in what they are doing or thinking that they just don't register the urge to potty.

As for the 2nd teacher, most teachers really need to SEE the problem behavior before they admit they have to deal with it. Maybe a book to send back and forth with comments about her day?

Also, ALL of our elementary schools have "clothes closets" made of donated clothing like sweats that will fit a variety of sizes b/d things happen. Mud, blood, pee, poop, whatever gets on the kids and they need to change. Maybe, being the kind and helpful parent you are, you could gather some clothes (ask thrift stores for help, and friends also) and start a "clothes closet" if they don't have one. It would earn big brownie points because accideents happen, esp in elem. Also, having jackets and winter coats if you can get them would be awesome.

Hugs,

Susie

 

[totoro]

Thank you everyone!!!
Well I went and voluntered at K's school yesterday, husband goes tommorrow! We are going to try and do this whenever husband is in town... It was a great experience. I am going to leave a change of clothes in K's backpack.
What I saw in K's class was, her teacher is great! But she is one of those that believes it is the parents fault... we did not talke about K, but discussed other children and she let it be known that they need much more discipline and *her* children were never like that!
I did a full alphabet testing for the school with the kids, really cool! So I got to really see who has issues, from my perspective and who is very smart, who needs help etc.
I ended up with one little boy having to hole him on my lap and squeeze him, to get him to focus just to be able to take the test!!! Miss B made a comment later that his parents coddle him... yes his parent are young, but you could see this boy is smart... but has some thing going on.
So I think in her mind nothing is wrong with K... K is in the excelerated reading/math group... she had to order new books just for this group of 4 kids. She does not have a group in her a.m. like this. So because K is polite, nice and SMART! She is perfect... Which I guess as a teacher she is... LOL I like the teacher I think she is frustrated by the ignorant parents here and the lack of funds... but she is good with the kids for th emost part.

SO on the one hand I am so proud of K for doing so well and glad that we have spent so much time working with her on all of these thing... I trully believe th eearly school helped and working at home has also...

husband talked to one of the other Mommies at N's school and (we drive her son in the afternoon) he told her what heppened! She was floored!!! and is now concerned about D when he poops at school... as for Miss M... she was sweet as pie. So we will just see, as long as N seems happy. ANd is rash free!!!

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

I think I read all the responses, so if this is a repeat, sorry...

another thing to keep in mind is that if there are any sensory issues, that can play a huge part in first not reading the body cues on knowing that it is time to go, and second not knowing that they ahve not been wiped completely. Tink not only misses her cue often, she also does not like what it feels like to wipe, so she will ONLY use the wet wipes.

Yup. EVERYTHING is a federal case.

 

[totoro]

BBK- Can you PLEASE explain that one to both of the teachers!!! Sensory issues??? What do you mean, um they are both diagnosis'ed with Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), N has it worse... "I just don't see it" is both of the teachers attitudes... it is just K and N "working" husband and I... As if !!! those kids can't pull one over on this broad!!! I have not only done it all but I have almost seen it all!!!
With my anxiety... no-one is pulling nothing over on me!!!! LOL

K begs us to still wipe her!!! "Please, I can't... " she has a hard time telling also if she has done a good job and gets frustrated... Love the wet wipes~~~

Happy Booties=Happy Mommies

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Mommas love them shiny hineys.

I can tell if Tink didn't do so good of a job. We'll be sitting there and all of a sudden..."what's that smell?"

 

[TiredSoul]

My son wasn't potty trained until about 3 mos after he turned 3. He started at a new daycare right before that and they said no diapers/pull ups and must be potty trained. We used pull ups for awhile and I think they said no to that - and he was getting better and better so we would send him to school in underwear. Well he had a fear of sitting on the big toilet to go poop so he sometimes had accidents. So get this... they would take off his dirty underwear and put clean ones on him and they would send home the dirty ones in a plastic bag WITH THE POOP STILL IN IT! I commented to the director about it and they told me they were required to return it to the parents. OMG!!! I don't think so.

So now, at 5 1/2 yrs. old, I still wipe him. My husband not so much (I don't mean I wipe my husband not so much! HA HA! I mean he won't wipe difficult child as much) - but my son gets angry because he says he cannot reach (he has short arms like I do) and for me, I guess I just want to make sure he is clean. Sometimes I think I am enabling him, but I don't want it all over his underwear and then he likes to strip off his clothes and run around and the thought of him sitting on anything just flips me out. The kids wipes are great and do a better job.